Hi Cruzzie,

Can you tell me a little more about what happened? What caused this rate? Was it a man, work, friend, parents, life in general? Does this happen often? What are the triggers that set you off? Are you able to pause when you know you are going to have a violent outburst? Maybe get a plan for yourself..such as taking a walk when you feel the anger coming, or be aware of the present moment by guided imagery such as a peaceful scene. Perhaps deep breathing. That usually works with me or calling my friend. I have cue cards, that my therapist helped me with and every time I feel intense anger, I get out one of my “distress tolerance skills” cue cards, which takes my anger from a 10 to maybe a 4. Just keep working on it, have a plan, when you know this is going to happen.

Hi Cruzzie,

I felt compelled to respond to your post.  It totally sucks to sleep all day, cry, stuck with your bad thoughts and feel so awful.  It really does.  I have been there.  What’s worst is waking up in the morning raging mad.  I live alone and there is no one around and nothing to be mad about, much less raging mad.  After years of going through all that, a doctor finally gave me something for severe depression.  It turns out I’ve been walking around with that illness without my knowing it or knowing anything about the symptoms.  I simply thought I just have a very bad attitude.  I hate meds – any kind.  But I took those things anyway and after a while I could think straight, I have hope for my future, have tons of things to keep me occupied, and best of all, there is no rage or suicidal thoughts or any of that.  That’s the important thing.  You really don’t want to die, trust me.  You will get buried in the ground, and get eaten by worms and who knows what else.  Just kidding!  I don’t know what’s there and I don’t really have any interest in finding out.

Now at the risk of you thinking I’m patronizing, let me assure you that I am not.  But think about this for a second.  If you have negative thoughts and thoughts of suicide, truly Cruzzie, there are solutions to whatever it is you are feeling.  I understand where you are coming from.  Please give yourself a chance at life.  You look so young in that picture and there is so much you can do to feel better and that’s why there are doctors around everywhere – to help you.    I am not a doctor, but I sure can recommend something that will help you temporarily until you get professional help.  And here goes…..just read, read something, anything.  Don’t watch TV.  It’s mostly  more bad news that you don’t want to hear or see.  If you can find a Bible somewhere quick, I promise you there are tons of great advice from that book.  In the mean time, would you just take deep breaths and call this number if you can’t take it much longer?  Call 1 800 273-8255.  Just talk to someone. You will be alright.

Best regards,

SiLupe

Dear Cruzzie:

You panicked yesterday. You got scared and then more scared. You felt bad and then, you got scared of feeling worse. You feared a downward spiral that you are unable to stop.

Feeling weak, “out of control”, without any power to stop the expected downward spiral- you rebelled against that weakness, and exerted power by breaking things.

The message behind the Rage (title of your thread), breaking things, is that you need (reasonable) power over your life experience, so that you are not like a leaf in the wind, taken any which way by the wind.

When you feel fear again, before it gets that overwhelming, do something. Act. It is the passivity that increases the fear.

Take a walk, clean your kitchen, do something. Focus daily on taking action that will benefit you, taking care of yourself. No such action is too small to bother with, every act of caring for yourself counts.

anita