Dear James:

I am very 😊 to see that you posted again!!!

I am travelling today (using my phone), so I will reply further by tomorrow.

Peace back to you

Dear James:

My study today:

Paraphrasing, you say that offense and conflict are illusions of the separate self (ego) and Real Spirituality is about transcending the separate self. The True Self is unshaken by external events.

You say that Love is not comfort or consensus, but a force that reveals truth through challenge or confrontation.

You view confrontation not as hostility, but as a way of revealing truth. Love is the willingness to disrupt comfort if it helps someone see beyond their separate self.

In Sufi mysticism, Jalal refers to divine majesty — often overwhelming, even confrontational. Love expressed through Jalal is not gentle affection but a powerful force that shakes the ego. In this sense, confrontation is a form of divine love that compels transformation.

There are psychological parallels to what you say: therapists sometimes challenge clients to face uncomfortable truths about freedom, responsibility, or mortality. This confrontation is seen as a loving act because it helps clients grow. In psychology, “tough love” means setting boundaries or confronting harmful behavior out of genuine care.

While everyday tough love is a practical act of care, you elevate confrontation into a spiritual act of awakening.

I think I understand now more than before, James. Thank you for being a part of these forums. Along confrontations, you expressed gentleness many times, and for that (along with the valid confrontations), I am grateful 🙏🙏🙏

I really am very interested in transcending my ego, a need I feel more acutely because of your input.

🤍 Anita 

Dear James: The real devil= the ego/ the separate self. Your message: I am not my ego. My true self is beyond mind and ego.. But (if I understood correctly what you shared earlier) true self disappears in death.. nothing left of separate or true self when a person dies?

🤍 Anita

Dear James:

I want to process and study your short but strong answer thoroughly, including what you shared previously:

At death- my ego, personal identity, psychological self; my mind, beliefs, experiences, memories, fears, desires.. the sense of “I”- all these disappear. There’s no continuation of me.

That absence of self — the total emptiness — the “Nothing left”- is not a loss but a liberation. In mystical traditions (Sufi, Zen, Advaita), “nothingness” is not negative. It is pure freedom, pure peace, pure being- the end of illusion, the end of suffering.

* In Advaita, it is the return to Brahman (pure consciousness). In Buddhism, it is nirvana — the extinguishing of the individual flame.

* In Sufism (Islamic Mysticism, a mystical tradition within Islam) — Fanā’ means the annihilation of the ego. It is followed by baqā’ — abiding in God. Famous Sufi expressions: “Die before you die.” (Meaning: let the ego die so the True Self can awaken.)

“When I vanished from myself, I appeared in God.”= When the ego disappears, what remains is the divine reality. Not a personal God in the sky. Not a deity with a personality. Not a separate being. In Sufi mysticism, “God” (Allah) is: the One reality, the infinite, the source of all existence, the ocean into which the wave returns

So “appearing in God” means: The individual self dissolves into the infinite. It’s the moment when: the boundary between “me” and “the world” dissolves, the sense of separation disappears, only unity remains

A metaphor: Imagine a wave on the ocean. The wave thinks it is separate. It has a name, a shape, a story. But when it collapses, it returns to the ocean. The wave “vanishes from itself” and “appears in the ocean.”

The wave (individual self) rises (lives) and falls (dies). When it falls, the wave disappears. But the ocean (impersonal being) remains. The wave was never separate from the ocean in the first place. Death is the wave returning to the ocean.

In simple terms, the personal self ends, the impersonal reality (you called it “pure consciousness”) remains, and that impersonal reality is freedom.

Here is a collection of.. The Best of James’s, I’ll call it: “Stillness is the absence of mental chatter—the ever-present silence, untouched and eternal. Therefore, Stillness is the end of grasping. Grasping means reaching, clinging, holding to thought, desire, fear, or hope. When the grasp relaxes, mind becomes quiet, like an open hand.” (Aug 27, 2025)

“Radical acceptance is not passive. It is the deepest strength. When fear comes, you don’t resist it; you let it be seen. When anger arises, you don’t judge it; you allow it to pass like a cloud. Even danger, even uncertainty, welcomed without resistance, they lose their sting. The paradox is: by accepting everything, the heart opens completely, and care flows naturally. You don’t ‘try’ to care love, compassion, and right action simply arise.” (Aug 28).

“For me, love is the complete acceptance of everything and anything exactly as it is.” (Sept 1)

“I see bad people like babies. They came into this world completely pure, like clean water, innocent and untouched. Everything they became—their personality, their habits, their ways of thinking—was shaped by their environment, family, society, and life circumstances… The person I see now is just the result of everything around them, not something they consciously chose in the beginning. Understanding this doesn’t mean I approve of harmful behavior, but it allows me to look at them without hatred or judgment.” (Sept 1)

“Love is the highest and purest service we can offer to humanity. It’s not about recognition, reward, or doing things for show—it’s about giving, understanding, and being fully present for others. When we act from love, every small gesture, every word, every act of kindness becomes meaningful. Helping others with love is not just about changing their lives, it transforms us as well. Love sees beyond faults, beyond appearances, beyond judgment. It connects us to the essence of people, to their struggles, their joys, their humanity. When we serve from love, we serve without expectation, without ego, without thinking ‘I am doing something great.’ The act itself becomes the gift, and the impact spreads silently, like a ripple in water. In this way, love is not just an emotion—it is the truest service we can offer to the world.” (Sept 1)

“When the so-called self dissolves, something different happens. The body and the universe are no longer two. In that, there is no cold detachment — the body inevitably becomes an instrument of Love. Compassion, care, listening, and presence are no longer choices of the ego, but the natural action of Life itself… So yes, the memories, the scars, the stories remain in the body, but without identification they don’t rule the being. They are seen, felt, and even shared with tenderness, yet not carried as a burden of ‘me’.” (Sept 3).

“Every breath is heaven. Every fear is hell. Heaven and hell are words, stories, warnings, not geography. Life itself is the teacher, and every moment is the lesson.” (Oct 6)

There’s more to quote, but I’ll stop here. I want to reread the above and continue to process later. Thank you, James. I am feeling more of an appreciation to your wisdom today than I ever felt before and I want to apply it more, much more, in my daily living in the forums and in real-life.

🙏🙏🙏 🤍 Anita

Thank you, James. I would like to process your input over time further tomorrow morning.

🙏🤍🙏 Anita

James, Oct 31: “Dear Anita… Drop the Anita, who is trying to understand non duality. And see (actually not see) BE the LOVE.”

Nov 27: “Absolute freedom is only comes when physical death comes. Even mind is transcended, there is still bondage with body and mind.”

Dec 4: “Love is not being alone or isolated. İt is sharing, caring and compassion.”

🙏🤍🙏 Anita

Dear James:

It made my day reading you congratulating me. I am humbled 🙏

I want to keep quoting and processing- meditating on your words every day. Your consistent, unchanging and uncompromising messages and style are getting through to me these very days 🙏🙏

🙏🤍🙏 Anita