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Realistic age gap?

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  • August 4, 2014 at 8:21 am #62579
    Kelly
    Participant

    I’ve heard a formula, which is kind of silly but if you’re looking for a general guideline, it seems to hold up. As for the youngest you should date, divide your age in half and add seven years.

    I am 35, so I shouldn’t date anyone younger than 35/2 = 17.5 + 7 = 24.5.

    If your love interest is older, do the math on their age to see if you make the cut.

    That said, all individuals and relationships are different, though I personally have a hard time understanding what a 45 year old would have in common with a 23 year old and vice versa (for example), no matter how youthful the older partner looks or acts. There’s just a whole lot of life experience the younger person hasn’t been exposed to that would make things tricky, imo.

    August 4, 2014 at 8:30 am #62582
    Matt
    Participant

    Differences add spice, IMHO. As an older person dances with a younger, the differences in perspective keep things interesting. I think Inky hit the main drawbacks, but as far as getting along, its always dependent on the people. Is the gap in life experiences delightful or troubling? Does it keep both partners entertained, intrigued, on their toes? Does it keep both partners stepping on each other’s toes?

    With warmth,
    Matt

    August 4, 2014 at 9:55 am #62588
    Jennifer
    Participant

    My husband is 13 years older than me (I was in my 40’s and he in his 50’s when we met). What made a huge difference is that he’s been taking care of his health since his 20’s, so is medically much younger than his physical age, and his general attitude gives him a youthful vibe. People who see us together assume we’re both in our 40’s.

    When we met, we were both in the same place in our lives and career tracks. I think that’s actually more important than chronological age. After all, how many couples have problems because even though they’re the same age, one is ready to settle down and have kids, and the other wants to still enjoy the unfettered life?

    August 4, 2014 at 10:03 am #62589
    Big blue
    Participant

    … A quick read and thank you!
    🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    August 4, 2014 at 2:13 pm #62618
    Paul
    Participant

    The age gap is irrelevant really. I am 45, and my girlfriend is 29. Our emotional, physical and spiritual connection is sublime. I’ve dated women closer to my age, and have never felt the emotions or deep connection I feel with my current girlfriend.

    I keep myself in shape, so I am a young 45 year old. Never been happier…

    August 4, 2014 at 4:29 pm #62623
    Inky
    Participant

    Oh, I just remembered a formula too!

    The youngest person you can date should be closer to your age than your kid’s age, and the oldest person you can date has to be closer to your age than your parent’s age.

    Sounds psychologically reasonable!

    August 4, 2014 at 7:13 pm #62629
    Big blue
    Participant

    This is a lively discussion, and formulae or not, of course they are all right answers.

    The formulae make me think of a woman I met this weekend. We were both attracted, and when we spoke we both baffled the other with geek-speak about what we do. When the smoke cleared I think we were both oddly enamored. I’m looking forward to our next chat around town, but I think we would fail on all formulae, except maybe 1+1=2.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    August 4, 2014 at 11:51 pm #62656
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    You can be enamored without having to think about the practical side of things. Enjoy! Geeks unite! 🙂

    The practical side of things only starts to matter down the line and can be countered with strong, soulful love. But even that love would take a while to develop, so why not enjoy life and not be too stressed about the age gap!

    P.S. Inky’s formula would be disturbingly liberating for me 🙂

    August 5, 2014 at 6:44 am #62676
    Kelly
    Participant

    Inky, that’s funny. My “rule” for my bachelor father is that he is not allowed to date anyone younger than me. Something just feels a bit “icky” about it. But I agree with the consensus here – as long as everyone is a consenting adult, have fun 🙂

    August 5, 2014 at 7:13 am #62679
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Kelly,

    Yeah anyone that young immediately conjures up “daughter age” and is summarily dismissed. Just me.

    🙂

    Big blue

    August 9, 2014 at 8:41 pm #62957
    Big blue
    Participant

    What about 9 months, do we like 9 months…?

    August 9, 2014 at 11:51 pm #62961
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    What have you tapped into? Inexhaustible source of women of all ages? 🙂

    August 10, 2014 at 5:35 am #62971
    Big blue
    Participant

    Lol Rumi. 🙂

    It’s been 16 months since I dated. The relationship before that was a roller coaster with at least one wheel missing under one corner. Before that a break after my divorce. I’ve been focused on myself and a love that did not work out – dysfunctional and not good for me but I was attached, sound familiar friends?
    So..I’m in good shape lately. Last night was a first date. Someone I’ve known for a while. We had a great time and agreed to do it again! 🙂
    I’m very grateful for you and the other ladies here on TB. To hear your stories and perspectives is very helpful. The guys, too. Thank you!

    Fade to DMB “Everyday” lol 🙂

    August 10, 2014 at 2:46 pm #63002
    Big blue
    Participant

    Lol my ex-wife got a new phone and has butt dialed me twice this weekend. I kidded her that she can’t live without me. (Hearty laugh by all) 🙂

    August 11, 2014 at 2:13 am #63052
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    I wonder who my butt would dial if it had a choice.

    I hope you don’t mind, Big blue, that I’m using your thread to ponder something out loud, but since you kind of started it, I’m going to continue from there 😛

    I keep wondering now and again if I should just create an online dating profile. I’m just not sure, because I’m not on the prowl. It would just be fun to get to know new people. That’s just not usually enough for those who are on the prowl. I just want to bring new people into my life, regardless of their physical location. I half heartedly believe in the law of attraction (meaning, I do think it’s somewhat true, but do not obsess about it). I have all kinds of dreams and wishes, but I live in a rather small town and I work from home, so I am a bit isolated from all kinds of opportunities that life might throw my way. I’m just not sure if online *dating* site would be the best way to approach it. It’s the easiest for getting to know new people, but the idea behind it is dating and not…networking. And I think that it’s kind of networking that I want to do. Cast a net out there and see where it leads me. Create a beacon somewhere that would send out a signal saying “here I am”! 🙂

    I just don’t know…

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