Dear Anita.

His childeren lives part time.  He doesnt abuse his children, I think he is a good father as I know.  I can report DEA anonymously but if they want to more information, they could contact me.  DEA have a great technology and they can find me via internet connections, etc.  I’m okay with it as long as ex do not find it out.  He asked/offered me to buy cannabis from him and I refused it so, I’m the witness but they have the witness protection if there is any problem.  If DEA catch him when he sale cannabis then too late but DEA visit him and ask questions it may re-think about selling cannabis and not go to the jail but this is my first and last support which I can do for him.
I deleted his phone number.  I should block it first and I did not.  Silly me.  But if no name income calls, I usually do not answer anyway and I’m 100% sure he won’t contact me anymore.  He was super mad at me.  Good and bad though.

Thank you, Anita.

He grew up abusive mother (toxic mother) and I think they are very similar.  When they are happy, they are in so good mood but if not, everything is upside down.  His kids may have been abused by them but they may not understand much yet.  Do not know.  I have 5 years to realize that this is emotional and verbal abuse.
DEA, I do not know yet.  Thinking.
I blocked all his family, and friends so they cannot contact me.  I forgot to block him but block his email.  I won’t answer any ID calls and unknown numbers.  I do not want to be near him anymore from yesterday.
He complain about my vinyl return because he paid for firewood, stove, etc, and complain when I took hangers (for clothes).  Oh, I return all hangers when I dropped off his last belongings/my gifts.  He makes great money, more than doubles my salary but the end of a relationship is all about money.  He kept saying that firewoods, fire stoves, and built fences cost.  I asked him how much but he did not answer.  Only if he sends me an invoice then I will send my check, the last contact but I hope not.  I did not take any of my gifts back. So cheap and pitiful.

Dear Anita.

You are so amazing!  I will consult you if I ever date with someone again but I do not think so.  I’m enough.
> don’t think that if you send him a check, it will resolve his anger because, like I wrote above, I think it’s about what he gave his mother and about his anger at her.

I took last third trip to return my gift from him and his tools, made him more mad!  He mad at me because I said forget it first then I mail it.  That’s why I took the tird trip to therer.  Seems like anything I do, he is upset me anyway.  I wish him nothing.  I’m bad, I cannot say happiness or anything.  I wish he goes to Hxxx but I should not say any negative words.  Shame on me thinking about it.  People said “revenge” do not make you happy but i do not agree with it.  I revenge the person before, my long time ago ex bf took my money and never return it then broke up on me.  So I called his company (he was in military), talked his boss.  His boss did not take it seriously so, I use my connection and talked to ex’s boss’s boss!  Yes, both of them got in trouble but I feel so good.  Am I bad?

Dear, Anita.

Long time ago ex story, he return the money because his boss’s boss told him to do immidetely.  Did he get into trouble with work?  Honestly, I do not know.  I complete cut him out and I did not care after I received my money.  Sorry I had cold blood at the tims.  My revenge will hurt only the person but I do not know.  Look at a big picture, may be effect someone else?
Example of my ex.  If I report to DEA, does he lose his job?  May be, may be not.  If his company find it then he may.  Do I care? I do not care.  He should not take illgary sale.  Yes, this is not my business so I should not report to DEA?  End up to the jail or lost a job.. which is the better future?  May be you are right and I just wanted to destroy him.  He hurts me so well and I just want to destory him different way.

I think I have a big problem here.  Now I think myself.  If I upset someone, I will crush them until they cannot get up.
I remember when I was a little, I argue with my older sister but I was strong enough to mean to her.  She was so sweet person and I was mean person.  I was mean to her (not violence, say mean words to her) until she cry.
Oh my….I have a huge mental issue do I??

Dear Anita.

Thank you for letting me know and thank you again for your support always.

Dear Anita

today was a busy day.  A busy day is good for me, I do not have to think about anything.

I was thinking about what he has done and he said to me these past years.  I wanted to think of happy memories but since this weekend, I could not think anymore.  Sad.
I decided to send an email to DEA.
I do not make the story, I just let them know what I know.
Why did I decide to do this?  I was told by one of my friends who lives outside of the state that she knows my ex.  We spend time together when she came over here.  She told me that she was very concerned about me and she talked to/emailed my ex.
She said she would like to have a distance with me.  After she spoke with my ex, she realized how cold-blood a person I am.
Never appreciated what he has done, use him only as labor…etc… I could not believe it and I could not believe she took his side.
We have been friends for over 10 years but it’s over.
Did he tell her the true story?  Some of yes but 90 plus % is not true.
So sad and I could not say anything.  And he sent an email to my sister telling the story of how I was mean to him.
I and my sister are not too close and of course, she believed his story.
I think this is enough reason I do not need to have a reason but I decided to contact DEA.

I’m sad, I’m done and I’m enough of this life.

Dear, Anita.

An eye for an eye、and a tooth for a tooth. I remember this sentence over and over when I growing up.
I think I became cold blood person since my ex husband who abused me.
Let me read your message more cafefully and let me process your each word.  I will reply this message later.

Thank you again for sharing your time for me.  (((Hugs)))

Good morning, Anita.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I went to my therapist yesterday.  He was so happy that I picked up all my belongings.  He said my ex wanted to hold my belongings = wanted to control you even after the breakup.  He was mad because I picked up all.
After I read your message and I did not realize how much effect my child’s days.
So, I talked to my therapist about my child’s days and we will start to work on it.
Also, I do not have any anger or disappointment or any negative feeling toward him much as before.
I won’t say good luck or wish you a happy life, be honest I do not feel the way at all!
But after I was speaking therapist about him, my therapist thinks he has controlling issues and anger issues with his mother.
This relationship failed because both had an issue and we did not work it together.

Except this, I’m so sad my friend and sister believed my ex but, I cannot control what they believe or not.  I just let them go too.  I must be tired of my mind and if something is so complicated, I just wanted to let it go.
Is this wrong?  Should I deal with each problem?

Thank you for your support always.