Dear Anita,

answer: no Anita, I don’t think about this much — one time I got a bad grade in Science and I did feel bad, and I cried, but my mom said its okay I just have to study more.

I want to add this, in present state.  Talking about this – I want to explain one thing.  As this child, who was forgetful in this scenario – I NEVER recall feeling bad about it.  I recall being a kid that was in my own world and wasn’t so hypervigilant or aware or aiming to please.  I don’t recall ever feeling: oh my I need to worry and try to remember more.  In fact, I think if anything I was slightly aloof/unaware/floaty in the head – floating through life not so sensitive to my surroundings — OPPOSITE to the person I grew into..

I recall being someone who just did.  In fact, I recall being much less of an ambitious child, smart child or go getter.  Just a normal kid who did whatever. Not what you would expect from my story, or if you know me now.  Not at all the “tiger parenting” and resultant over achiever child.

stark contrast from now.

Dear Anita,

ok

I like to play in my house, i have a big room it is teal color and has bright fan.  i love the fan because it has hot pink – my favorite color is hot pink…my mom spent a lot of time making my room really nice for me.  i have bunk beds too..when my sister is bigger maybe she will sleep there..

so when my sister was born i thought it would be so fun, but shes not – shes just a baby and she doesnt do anything.  i want someone to play with but shes too small.

my grandparents were here to help my mom after she was born…my dads parents.  my mom says they are evil and they dont care about us – my dad.  she says they treated my dad like an orphan, and his other 3 brothers really good. she said my dad was raised by his grandparents in another town.  so she says why should we be so nice to them. they treated my mom really bad after she got married and move to their house — before she moved to america.  they were evil to her, and my dad didnt say anything to her either.  he was evil to her too

Dear Anita,

yes I am nice to them.  i talk to my grandma about stuff.  but my mom said dont tell her too much info about our life. so id ont.  sometimes they play games with me.  i guess theyre nice.

my moms mom, that grandma is my favorite – she is so nice.  its sad because she doesnt have a good life.  she lives in india -and she doesnt like america too much so she doesnt visti often.  but i visited her in india a lot and i have so much fun there

Dear anita,

ya she is fine. she doesn’t say anything like don’t be nice to them.

no she doesnt

dear anita,

yes – it is good to be nice.

but ill tell you when we went to india to thse grandparents house, i have some cousins there – my dads brothers kids. one time my mom and i tricked one of my cousins . hes my age i think like 7 or so…and he is always mean to me and teases me. so my mom said okay trick him and tell him we have candy – so i did. and when he came my mom yelled at him and said he shouldnt dare tease me again.  she was happy that she told him that so he doesnt bother me anymore

Dear Anita,

yes she is! she gets mad if other kids tease me.

she also said that stuff to him because his mom – my dads brothers wife is so evil. that aunt of mine always teaches her kids bad things about us and teaches them to be mean to us because they have jealousy we live in USA and they dont

Dear Anita,

no – because they are just bad people.  no one can change that.  they dont really do that much bad to me.  they do a lot of bad to my mom and dad.. especially my mom – becuase her family in america – her brothers and sisters are so bad to her.

Dear Anita.

I don’t know.  I know that if I am good and I don’t get in trouble and my dad doesn’t yell at me that makes my mom happy. I know that is important because my mom has a bad life so I shouldn’t cause her more problems. Also I know that sometimes when I play with my cousins I have to make sure I don’t tell them too much information because their parents are bad and they’re trying to get sneaky information out of us because they have jealousy. If we are going on a vacation my mom says not to tell them because they will have jealousy about it. Because they don’t have so much money that they can go on vacation so they will have jealousy for us. My mom says that people who have jealousy can sometimes make bad stuff happen to us. If we tell someone a lot of good stuff and they have a bad wish towards us then it could be a bad situation. It’s not good to tell people too much good stuff about our life because then they will wish bad on us. So I listen to that.

See the thing is Anita my mom also gets happy when we go to my cousins house. Because Overthere we have a lot of company. They live in Phone neighborhoods were all of the kids play outside. And so my mom is so happy to see me playing outside and not lonely. She tells me that I am lonely in my big house because no one plays outside