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She blocked me out of the blue…HELP!

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  • #198451
    Rick
    Participant

    Hi guys,

    So my asexual girlfriend (20) left me (20) three months ago because I was immature and she felt that I hurt/disrespected her feelings deeply (I was very wrong to have blamed her on some of our problems for which I should’ve taken responsibility). I apologized but she was visibly angry and wouldn’t give me another chance. I know she loved and trusted me a lot but probably felt too emotionally hurt to be with me anymore. So I didn’t beg or plead like crazy but simply accepted that we needed some time apart. Since then, I have been working on myself to become a better person (eg. working out, going to counselling, travelling, etc) and tried my best to move on (though I often struggled and felt occasionally sad without her). I hadn’t texted her at all except wishing her happy birthday (on Whatsapp), which she replied with a thank you. I started posting pictures on social media since two weeks ago and two days ago (a month after her birthday) I tried to call her on Whatsapp to see how she is doing and if she feels well enough to hang out with me as a normal friend (we were very good friends before). Then I realized she had blocked me out of the blue. I checked my facebook and found out that she had partially blocked me there too. I was so shocked and didn’t know what was happening. (I don’t think she’s found someone new because she never trusts people easily and doesn’t mess around with people a lot. She is introverted by nature.) I am very confused and at the same time worried about her emotional well-being. (She hasn’t updated her Instagram ever since our breakup.)

    I have a feeling that she is still very hurt from our relationship. I have learned from my mistakes and become a better man as a result. I find myself do love her still and want to get back with her but I value her happiness more than anything and I want to find a way to help her. Should I do something or simply let her be and leave her alone?

    Thanks!

     

    #198459
    Peter
    Participant

    Hi Rick
    My feelings on such matters is that after such a breakup a clean break is the best for everyone involved.
    If she has asked you to stop contacting her you need to respect that.  Her response to the birthday contact didn’t invite any further contact so its pretty clear.

    Sometimes Love requires that a relationship ends. I’ve been there and I know it hurts. Sorry

    #198473
    Mark
    Participant

    Rick,

    I agree with Peter. That relationship has ended.  Move on.

    Continue to learn and improve yourself.  Good for you for doing that.  Let her do that for herself as well.

    Mark

    #198483
    Cat
    Participant

    Hi Rick,

    I disagree with what Peter said, because at no point in your first message did you state that she had specifically told you not to contact her. I believe that yes, she is hurt by you. And I do think that subconsciously, blocking you is a way of her showing you that.

    Firstly, (I’m 24) – know this: throughout your 20s, and especially if you are an open and loving person, you are going to fall in love – whether platonically, romantically etc. with a lot of different people. This will be for many different reasons – maybe they understand you better than anyone has, or maybe your soul resonates with their suffering on a level like no other. We are never taught how to manage these feelings or relationships, but I recently learnt this: if you treat the people you love/ care about as a friend, with the highest respect and create a relationship that is always honest – you can’t really go wrong.

    One thing you can do in this situation, is think about how much you care about her as a friend. Write a letter, and speak to her on that caring friend level, and explain how you perceived things/ why things happened the way you did, and why you are sorry (emphasise on the apology). Tell her how much she means in your life. Then choose the best method of how to get this to her – whether through a written letter/ email/ instagram message etc. You will know which social media platform she is most likely to read.

    Cat

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