Dear busybee:

If I was you, from the information you presented here, I would not show up to the birthday party. If you want to see your friend, to wish her happy birthday, do so before or after the party, maybe a day later. I don’t know if standing up to him at this point is right for you (?), but it definitely doesn’t sound right to do it in the birthday party.

Your ex was aggressive and abusive toward you, and yet your friend remained friends with him: did she accept his behavior as okay? Or was she neutral about his abuse of you because it was not directed at her?

anita

Hi BusyBee,

Firstly I am very happy for you for making the conscious decision and removing yourself from the abusive relationship. I’m sure that you are now a much stronger person!

From what you have said it seems like this is life throwing you the final hurdle to healing and overcoming your previous suffering. It may be difficult but I think it may be beneficial to go to the party, especially after working through your past experiences. You have the chance to face your demon’s on a level where they can’t harm you and have no power over you.

I say go for it, you may feel relieved that you did. Don’t give him the power by avoiding the party, go to the party and prove to yourself that he no longer has any power in your life what so ever. Also I recommend speaking to your friends and letting them know how you feel just so that they understand and can come to your aid if you start to feel a bit overwhelmed or uncomfortable.

In the end I don’t understand what you have been through and this is only my very limited opinion but I know from my own suffering that the only way to beat the suffering is to face it, the world often throw’s hurdles at us for this reason.

All the best & Good luck! 🙂

Andrew.

Well done Bee