It’s really not fair that he hurt me, left me, then stayed with her, and she has no idea what he’s been doing.

I agree with Michelle, especially given the line above. It actually IS fair, because you said yourself you knew what you were getting into. This is what happens when you knowingly get involved with someone who is already with someone else.

Dear beth1990:

There are contexts where it will be right to tell a girlfriend that her boyfriend cheated on her, for example if  a woman considers marrying a man not knowing that he cheated/ cheats on her repeatedly. It could save her a lot  of misery not marrying him, not bringing  children into a troubled marriage, most important.

The problem you have is that you have made yourself a questionable source of information for the woman by being the one (claiming) to have had the affair with him. Because if she doesn’t  think it, he will quickly  suggest to her: oh, beth is someone infatuated with me, a troubled soul who will not take a no for an answer, etc.

Let’s say you had photos of the two of you, he will say: yes, we accidently met there… and she  developed this intense infatuation with me, etc.

You wrote: “I want HIM to take responsibility for his actions. It’s not fair that he hurt  me, left me, then stayed  with her… Should I let  them be happy…?”

Take responsibility for your own actions today and  tomorrow, every day. Otherwise, it  will be hypocritical to demand that  others do  what you don’t. Another thing, it is not likely at all that once the affair ended, they will live happily ever after while you suffer alone. Who lives happily ever after anyway? Smiling  people  on Facebook do, on Facebook, because their photos are forever like, the smiles last  forever.  In reality the smiling was there  for a moment and then gone.

He is not free now to be  happy, your lack of revelation to his girlfriend is not his ticket  to happiness. There  is plenty for him to suffer for still, as it is unfortunately true to us all.

anita

No.