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Sinking

This topic contains 10 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 1 week, 4 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • #152880

    Miracle88
    Participant

    Hello,

    I am lost in life. I am unemployed for a little over 8 months ( 2nd time unemployed in 4 years). I am single for 6 years now. I am going to be 29 in 6 weeks. I almost on the way to move back home. I am totally lost. I have very few friends and I am feeling terrible inside. I don’t want to continue at times. I am feeling worthless inside. I had an interview last week that I did well in but I still didn’t get the job. I don’t know how to continue anymore.

    Let me know your thoughts.

     

    #152894

    nextsteps
    Participant

    Hello,

     

    I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I can appreciate it is hard to see the light sometimes, but it’s still there.

     

    in terms of your job, I believe things happen when they are supposed to happen and it could be that job wasn’t 100% right for you, or you can see not getting the job this time as a lesson in persverence and determination. You just need one lucky break with your job, so perhaps just keep trying for things you are interested in and perhaps find some volunteer or charity work on the side so you can perhaps make more friends or meet new people and have something else to talk about in your job interview. Sometimes you just need one thing to go right then everything else falls into place. perhaps think about a new skill, qyalifcation or hobby you would like to try-this could give you a boost of confidence and allow you to meet new people. There is a website called meet up that can help you meet people in your area and charities often run cheap working holidays where you get out in the outdoors with a group of people and work toward a common goal eg clearing a coastal path etc that again may just give hoy done positive feelings back.

     

    I have been I a similar position to you and can empathise with your situation. In my experience it was following my heart to do what I enjoyed, and making small changes to my life that over time added up.

    #152932

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Miracle88:

    I hope you feel better soon, finding meaning and purpose in your life.

    I wonder: did you choose the username “Miracle” because you believe that you need a miracle in your life?

    anita

    #152968

    Miracle88
    Participant

    Anita,

    I chose my name Miracle88 because my real name means miracle. However, I really do need a miracle right now in my life. I am barely surviving emotionally.

     

    Thanks,

    Miracle88

    #152976

    Mark
    Participant

    Hey Miracle,

    I think the thing to do here is to focus on all the hope you have. You are only 29!

    I like to take about fifteen minutes to sort of sit down and make a list of things in my life that I want to happen, including things about myself that I want to change. And then choose one, go back to where you are now, and decide on the first step you can take to achieve one of those goals. Even if you aren’t working and are stuck in other areas of your life, you can still get better, you can still always be moving forward. Create possibilities.

    I was just taking a walk about fifteen minutes ago and I found myself replaying one of my least favorite things to think about. And then right in the middle of it, as a whole bunch of emotions started to come over me, I just stopped. And I thought something like, “What good is it doing to think about this right now?” And I felt better.

    Hope this helps. Hang in there!

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by  Mark.
    #152980

    anita
    Participant

    Dear miracle88:

    Following reading your answer, I wonder if your parents chose this name for you because they were hoping you will bring a miracle into their lives?

    A miracle, definition: “a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences”- Welcomed consequences is a good thing, problem is in the words “highly improbable”- better make a plan (as suggested above) then sit back and wait for a miracle.

    A plan to find meaning, to move forward, to ascend/ rise (antonyms of Sinking, the title of your thread). Would you like to attempt to do it here, on your thread?

    anita

    #153234

    Miracle88
    Participant

    Hi Anita and Mark,

    Thank you for your input. I am putting effort to make my life work for me. It is not easy, yet I am still trying to get through and make it happen for myself. Applying for more positions, talking/networking and praying/yoga/meditation. I feel emotionally horrible, but what else can I do. Meaning in life is different to everyone. I never thought about my life until I was 25. At 25 I thought about life a lot. I started thinking about how to make sense out of my life. I feel hopeless most days. However, I am continuing life trying to get through the day. I imagined I would be married by now, have a good career but that never happened. So I watch as all my peers move on with their life daydreaming of a day when things work out for me.

     

    Thanks,

    Miracle88

    #153264

    Mark
    Participant

    Hi Miracle88,

    I don’t know exactly what you are going through, but I have felt the same way as you. I know what it likes to feel hopeless.  Even if you are feeling horribly, you can still can still create hope. You are still so young.

    When I was going through something similar, reading and learning new things really helped me to get out of my own mind. Duolingo is a great way to strengthen your mind while not thinking about your problems. I was doing it at a bar last night and the combination of the atmosphere, alcohol, and learning really made me feel a whole lot better.

    There are also a lot of books that can help. I would recommend “Nothing Special” by Charollote Joko Beck, “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Branch, and “The Art of Living: The Classic Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness” by Epictetus and Sharom Lebell are all books that helped me when I was struggling.

    #153604

    Christy Lim
    Participant

    Dear Miracle88

    Keep trying other interview til it success! You can find some hobby to keep you occupied first besides waiting for your chance. You still got a lot of chance as long you still alive ok? Don’t give up~

    #153742

    Miracle88
    Participant

    Thank you all for the feedback.

    #153798

    Mark
    Participant

    I would say to hang in there, but I’m actually not sure that is good advice. Sometimes that’s all you can do, but a lot of it is creating possibilities for yourself. Keep moving forward!

    #153800

    Shani
    Participant

    I think it’s very strong of you to keep trying. Your life might not be the way you want it to be right now, but try to focus on the things you do have. When you start feeling grateful and happy again, you will find extra energy to keep going. And with that energy you will be able to achieve new things! Make a list of things that make your life worth living, it really helps 🙂

    Good luck with everything

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