Home→Forums→Relationships→STRUGGLE MARRIAGE AND PAINFUL.
- This topic has 287 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by
Thondit.
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May 2, 2019 at 10:09 am #292151
ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you so much for your support of advises.
Here we were trying to share ideas of how I can deal with this.
I am not in a position of calling her to come back. Just that you told me to go to her and tell her, your son Chris Agoth Gregory, love u and I love you too. So both of us love you a lots. In this simple token , Ayong, is complicated woman to be handle or controlled. At least if she was a person who can stand in her words and respect herself of being abuse by her fellow women then the better. Otherwise I can climb up the trees that has no branches. Nevertheless , my heart is now fully settled so no more worries.
My advice to people who might have read my article ,,,,,,, never give all your trust to any girl who is too beautiful. If you, then you have hang yourself on the daylight.
At least you trust the average girl, but beautiful girls are problematic and bogus.! !! !
My big appreciation goes to ANITA. She is a propeller to everyone who is having a problem. She is ready to sacrifice her time to advise you and encourage you what to do next.
Anita, God, created you in a very unique way. I try to such any word in the dictionary to describe you but I couldn’t find it !! ! May I do more research.
In my field of Piloting , when you do something to the best the called it “WORK OF ART” thanks a lots Anita ,,,,
Regards
Gregory Chan
May 2, 2019 at 11:26 am #292165
AnonymousGuestDear Gregory Chan:
You are welcome, and thank you again for your very kind words.
I am glad you are “not in a position of calling her to come back”.
You wrote earlier that Ayong doesn’t care for her own son, and it is my understanding that who she cares for is her mother, and that what she wants is to build her mother a house. Her love is with her mother, not with you and not with her son. And she had sex with other men while married to you and still does.
Yes, better not be in a position of calling her to come back.
“never give all your trust to any girl who is too beautiful”- except for a girl with a beautiful heart, do you agree, Gregory?
anita
May 2, 2019 at 4:41 pm #292267ThonditParticipantYes I strongly Agree with you Anita . you are welcome. Every since we are separated she has not thought of calling me .Or text me. So no need to run after who doesn’t want you to be part of her life.
Thanks so much Anita , and however , I am not the only one who is desperately disappointed , I have read so many articles on this forum . I am not in a pain a lone.. Thanks God that we are many. We had shared with words together.
Thank you Anita.
May 2, 2019 at 6:46 pm #292275AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome. How clear your last post, easy for me to understand, thank you.
Yes, you are not alone. I have to be away from the computer for the next 12 hours or so, please do post anytime you want, I will be glad to reply to you every time you post. Take good care of yourself and your son, he is indeed innocent. I can see his innocence in his little face!
anita
May 4, 2019 at 2:54 am #292363
JayJayParticipantDear Gregory,
It really sounds to me as though your wife is not ready to be a woman. She is still a child, even though she has a child herself. She does not want to accept the adult version of life. She is rebelling, just like a teenager, against fitting into a pattern. That is her problem, not yours. You cannot make her simply ‘grow up’ it’s something she has to decide to do herself. And that looks to be unlikely at any point in the near future.
Your list above is pretty comprehensive. At post 271945… Do you really want this woman in your life? So you want someone who cheats, lies and generally behaves as though she isn’t married? Someone who doesn’t even acknowledge that she has a child and adult responsibilities? Someone you say does not love you.
Is it simply a case that you can’t let go, even though your answer above is telling me you should. You have custody of your son, and you really need to make your son the No. 1 person in your life. Put your son first.
In your situation, I would get on with my own life. Look after yourself and your son. Get back to your training and qualify, so that you can make a good life for yourself and your son.
With best wishes,
Jay
May 8, 2019 at 5:11 pm #292927ThonditParticipantDear Jay Jay!
Thanks for your amazing advice Sir! !! This woman my first choice in my life and posterior to that we both felt in love completely.
Disappointment came in after we had married . Also we had the economic in our country South Sudan – Juba, its making all you ladies to ran away from their own respective husbands, ,, , and to hotels with those who are having money . Thanks my dear. My mind is almost resettling now and focus for my beloved son Chris Agoth Gregory.
My worries is one thing, if he becomes like her mother the time he becomes a man, ,,, and decides to leave my shoes….. And follow her mother ‘s shoes.
May 8, 2019 at 5:37 pm #292935ThonditParticipantI mean economic crisis in our country . Yes according to your question above, I wanted her to be my future but things fall apart so she has to let her go to where her heart is! Beautiful girls are problematic, I approve now. Our English teacher used to tell us such a story and I have now seen it without being told to!
May 8, 2019 at 5:43 pm #292937ThonditParticipantThe good news is , I have got scholarship with our government of south Sudan, Civil Aviation, ,,,, I am leaving in a month of July for my CPL (Commercial Pilot License) to go n complete it.
May 8, 2019 at 6:15 pm #292947AnonymousGuestCongratulations, Gregory, for getting the scholarship and proceeding to earn your CPL!
anita
May 9, 2019 at 11:30 am #293071ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thank so much , God is in control and he had seen my struggles for so long. Besides my ears are deaf now from those people who back bite me , concerning my wife. She is also abusing me somewhere from other people. She is absolutely talking negatively on me , that I am the one who was the cause of our misunderstanding of our marriage.
How did I went wrong here Anita , based on how you had seen the scenario of the story.
Ati, they where walking together with her mother and they found one of my mine friend from his work place and he is a Ugandan ?? , telling my friend, her father and they whole relatives hated them and they are being chuck to be visited cause of me. A friend of mine (Ntge) call me this evening and told me their conversation. However , she is saying if I want her back then I should return her son Chris Agoth Gregory , from Nairobi – Kenya and give her and we sit down and sort out the case.
My answer was/is I will not be fooled to be bring my son back to such people whose their heart is hard and closed.
Anita, your help is needed Again on this Agenda.
Gregory
May 9, 2019 at 11:30 am #293073ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thank so much , God is in control and he had seen my struggles for so long. Besides my ears are deaf now from those people who back bite me , concerning my wife. She is also abusing me somewhere from other people. She is absolutely talking negatively on me , that I am the one who was the cause of our misunderstanding of our marriage.
How did I went wrong here Anita , based on how you had seen the scenario of the story.
Ati, they where walking together with her mother and they found one of my mine friend from his work place and he is a Ugandan ?? , telling my friend, her father and they whole relatives hated them and they are being chuck to be visited cause of me. A friend of mine (Ntge) call me this evening and told me their conversation. However , she is saying if I want her back then I should return her son Chris Agoth Gregory , from Nairobi – Kenya and give her and we sit down and sort out the case.
My answer was/is I will not be fooled to be bring my son back to such people whose their heart is hard and closed.
Anita, your help is needed Again on this Agenda.
Gregory
May 9, 2019 at 12:15 pm #293075AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome.
My advice:
1. Minimize the damage done to you and to your son by this woman, the woman you married. Protect yourself and your son from this woman and from her mother. Keep her away from you. Make it so she cannot abuse you, not from close distance (do not agree to live with her, do not support her living close to you), or from afar (do not associate with any friend of hers, with anyone who communicates with her). Do not send her any messages inquiring about her well being. Close the door of your heart and home and do not let her in.
“How did I went wrong here”, you asked me. You went wrong marrying her. I suppose you were very attracted to her physically, so much so, that you didn’t see her heart. Fix it best you can by ending the marriage practically, most important, and legally if it is possible and if there is an advantage in doing so.
2. “Ntge… is saying if I want her back then I should return her son.. and give her and we sit down and sort out the case”-
– no, do not give your son to her or to anyone. Remember you gave away 150 cows as a payment for the marriage with this woman. Don’t give your son the same way, as a payment for this marriage.
Do what is right for your son. He doesn’t need a mother who parties and sleeps with men in hotels while he, the son, stays with his grandmother who practices witchcraft.
(If Ntge is your estranged wife’s friend- she should not be your friend. Have no contact with her or her friends or anyone who has contact with her).
“My answer was/ is I will not be fooled to .. bring my son back to such people whose heart is hard”- I agree. Their closed hearts will hurt your son badly.
– Your son is not staying with you currently- who is he staying with?
anita
May 9, 2019 at 12:59 pm #293083ThonditParticipantHello Anita,
Thanks once again. Reading your message its give me the momentum to deal with the situation.
Hey Anita , wow what amazing words, yes I don’t bother to asked her where she is! Nor texting her. I had completely switched my mind off . My son is staying with the daughter of my uncle , the brother to my own father.
I do communicate with him every day and he is asking me Baba, when are you coming to see me!. ? I promise to buy for him a bicycle when I come to Kenya.
These people where not feeding my son well, they just give juice all the time, he even when he wake up at night he could ask Juice.
Now he is enjoying life in Kenya.
May 9, 2019 at 2:06 pm #293093AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome. “These people where not feeding my son well”- who are “these people”?
– I will be back to the computer in a few hours.
anita
May 9, 2019 at 7:52 pm #293141ThonditParticipantI mean my mother in-laws with her daughter (my estrange wife), ,, they just give juice only. Until my son becomes addicted with juice.
What could be the good diet for a such baby ?
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