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Struggling to settle in new role

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Viewing 5 posts - 91 through 95 (of 95 total)
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  • #445823
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tom:

    It’s clear how much thought and effort you put into navigating your challenges. Your commitment to reading, exercising, and practicing gratitude daily shows a real dedication to your own well-being, and I admire that. You’ve been doing meaningful, constructive work on yourself, and it’s evident that these practices have helped in many ways.

    That said, I wonder if your current dissatisfaction and stress—especially in your work environment—might be rooted in deeper patterns that formed in childhood:

    “My dad worked in London and had a stressful job. He and my mum had a strained relationship and would often fight. As a child, I hated conflict and would often be worried about what/when the next fight would be. They would sometimes become very heated, sometimes violent. I would try to appease the situation if I could.” (Sept 9, 2022)

    Growing up in an environment like that—one I experienced as well—can deeply shape how someone handles pressure, self-doubt, and emotional safety in adulthood.

    When you talk about feeling challenged at work, doubting yourself, and struggling with a lack of support, it mirrors the emotional landscape of your childhood—where instability, unpredictability, and isolation made it difficult to feel secure. It makes sense that you crave a calmer, more structured environment now, like the idea of working in a coffee shop—one where trust and support replace uncertainty and emotional exhaustion.

    Because these patterns run deep and formed early, I wonder if the right kind of therapy might be a valuable next step for you. While you’ve already built strong practices to support yourself, therapy could provide a space to explore how your childhood experiences are shaping your present struggles in ways that self-work alone might not fully uncover.

    This isn’t about fixing anything broken—because you aren’t broken—it’s about understanding and untangling old conditioning so you don’t have to carry the weight of the past into every decision about your future.

    If therapy feels like something worth considering, I’d love to hear your thoughts. You deserve to feel peace, confidence, and clarity in your work and life—without the past subtly influencing your present.

    Let me know what resonates with you. I’m here. 💙

    anita

    #446286
    Tom
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Aplogiges for the delay, I was away in the U.S on a work trip. I am back now and back to the office tomorrow and already have anxiety about this.

    Therapy is something that I will probably find very useful but I don’t really know how to begin the process and find someone suitable to talk to.

    Thanks,
    Tom

    #446289
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tom:

    No worries about the delay. I remember you weren’t looking forward to your trip to the U.S.—did it turn out better than you expected?

    You might benefit from a therapist specializing in childhood trauma, emotional regulation, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). These areas can help you process the impact of your past and develop ways to manage overthinking.

    Here are your options (according to AI):

    1. NHS Therapy (Free or Low-Cost)

    The NHS offers talking therapies for anxiety, depression, and trauma. You can self-refer online or ask your GP for a referral.

    Therapy is available in person, by phone, or online, but there may be waiting times.

    2. Charitable Organizations (Free or Low-Cost)

    * Mind UK – Offers mental health support and therapy services.

    * Anxiety UK – Provides therapy on a sliding scale based on income.

    3. Private Therapy (Paid)- You can find private therapists through directories like:

    * BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy).

    * UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy).

    Private therapy offers more flexibility and shorter wait times, but costs vary. Some therapists offer sliding-scale fees based on income.

    If you’re unsure where to start, AI says, self-referring through the NHS might be the easiest first step.

    I am looking forward to read about your next step 🚀

    anita

    #446477
    Tom
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Hope all is well.

    I hit a big savings milestone this weekend which made me feel slightly better as I know if I did need to walk away in the short term, i would be ok for a few months.

    I have enquired with the NHS about therapy and waiting to hear back on that front.

    Tom

    #446484
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tom:

    Thanks for checking in—I hope you’re doing well too.

    Congratulations on reaching that savings milestone! That’s a huge achievement, and I’m really glad it’s providing you with some peace of mind. Knowing you have that safety cushion can make navigating things a bit easier, even if you don’t need to act on it right away.

    It’s great to hear you’ve reached out to the NHS about therapy. Taking that step is important, and I hope you hear back soon with helpful options. In the meantime, if you ever want to talk things through, I’m here.

    Wishing you a smooth week ahead.

    Anita

Viewing 5 posts - 91 through 95 (of 95 total)

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