Menu

Stuck between two choices

HomeForumsRelationshipsStuck between two choices

New Reply
Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #46671
    Samiha
    Participant

    I am from India. I was into an arranged marriage with a relative son soon after I finished college. And after joining a Software company I fell in love with a person whom is more suitable for me and love me so much. But now things got started with the arranged marriage guy, as his father suddenly got a heart attack. So marriage process started in my home. When I confessed my love, everyone in my family got really angry and convinced me that parents choice is good and as his father is not well, stopping the marriage can result in irrevocable consequences. I am really stuck between these two things and dont know what to do. I confessed to the guy whom I am about to marry about the relationship. Even he is concerned with his dad’s life, not stopping this marriage and convinced me things will turn out good. You just move on. With the marriage in the next two months , I am really afraid of how my life is going to turn out.

    #46673
    DamianG
    Participant

    You make the choices that make YOU HAPPY not everyone else…unfortunately the father is sick but perhaps he is not in the position to know as his illness is more important than dealing with the outside world. Make your OWN choice an don’t live through the lifes of others…who can tell you what you like, want, love best??? them or you? SIMPLE ANSWER. 🙂

    #46676
    Purpose
    Participant

    hi Samiha
    i would say you are a courageous girl..manyatimes we just sit back and dont do anything..but you stood up and told about ur situation openly to your family.. der would rarely be an instance when family takes things like this positively.. dont blame them.. neither the guy nor his father… but yes believe in yourself and your God…your source who made you… that power has not made you to suffer….sometimes we dont see light ..but der is always a way.. God’s way..believe in him.. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.. and to those with faith in themselves…n in GOD…..
    I would suggest you to write all your problems..and then solutions as you want of those problems…
    keep reading the solutions daily thrice(solutions should be positive…not of negative impact to anyone),…. why i m telling you to read it thrice…is because it would make u feel that all that is happening..and u would be in a state of positivity.. i knw it would be little difficult..but things would be great if u have faith and be positive…. pray for ur uncle’s health also.,..pray for everyone… your prayers would be answered….
    all the best Samiha..never loose hope….as God is great… 🙂 he will make all good for you…..

    #46677
    Samiha
    Participant

    Ya I am really hoping for good. But the guy I am about to marry is really self centered and always focus on what his parents want. I wish I could explain him I have my own dreams. But he is asking me to quit my job and go onsite with him. So I tend to compare with my lover who was really supportive in my career and give importance to what i want. Even I love my parents and respect thier parents equally. But if its going to be the two of us for lifetime and feel like none undestands my view. I really hope things turn out good..

    #46679
    memm
    Participant

    I don’t think it’s right to be forced to give up your happiness for the sake of pleasing other people’s personal opinions on how things “should be”.

    Your parents might be angry and upset for a while, maybe even a long time, but I don’t think it’s possible for them to ignore how happy you are with your own choice forever. It’s your life, and if you’re happy with your decision and open about it with everybody involved then they should all be happy seeing you happy. If they are not then those are issues they should deal with themselves, it’s not your fault.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by memm.
    #46686
    Rashmi
    Participant

    Hi Samiha

    I agree with everyone. Make your own choices. Even if they are wrong they are yours to make.

    #46688
    Greg Frucci
    Participant

    Hi Samiha,

    Perhaps quiet the mind of all the external voices who never will know the complete you…
    finding a quiet place with no other human around will make this process easier…
    not thinking of anything in your past including those other human voices…
    not thinking of any future which you or anyone else creates within a human mind…
    and listen to your Voice only.

    Know this…
    you are loved regardless of any choice you make…
    Loved by all that is pure…
    Loved by all that is positive and smiling…
    and you are supported by that which is pure…
    it comes from within your eternal energy.

    If you make a choice which you allow others to force you into making…
    a happiness will be short lived and the happiness will be from the outside…
    when not sustained from within you the energy required to maintain any happiness will soon destroy both you and those around you…
    including those others who wish only the same thing you do in the end…
    Peace.

    Many times in the past of me I have allowed others to make choices…
    just to get them off my back…
    and this process seemed easier…
    easy only lasts a short time when we wish to cease negative thoughts thrown our way…
    but the long lasting affects may create negativity within our inner being…

    Peace comes from within I believe…
    When we create a peace from the inside of us we can radiate the feeling out in all directions and help others help themselves…
    and for me, the is the key point…
    we cannot create a peace for anyone else through decisions we try and make for others…
    we must love and do what is right and pure for the self first which will create both Love and Peace…
    others will feel this…
    others will see this…
    even when they do not agree with you, it they are positive, they will respect your choices when your choices come from Love…
    and the personal choices you make when you make them from listening to your Inner Voice…
    will create the long lasting Peace we all desire to have.

    Listen to others…
    but do not loose your Voice…
    for, the Voice of you knows you best…
    and the Voice of you comes from Love…
    and the Love is Pure.

    We will never be able to “make” anyone else happy…
    no human has this ability…
    nor do we really want this ability?
    create your Happiness Samiha…
    and in the long run…
    others will feel it.

    Peace to you on your individual Life Path…
    Blessings to you as you make Your Choices in Life…
    Know that you are loved from all that is Pure…
    May you find Happiness in all that you do…
    I believe you will…

    🙂

    #46724
    Sree
    Participant

    Hi Samiha,
    I can understand what you must be going through and at the same time I very well know how torturous it is to confess about your love to your family under such circumstances. Please don’t loose hope.
    First of all, think of the guy that you like and figure out whether he is absolutely right for you or not. Don’t take any hard decisions under pressure. Things might not be very rosy in the beginning, but I’m sure time is going to heal everything. But you will have to be very strong mentally to take a strong step… Decide for yourself and be bold enough to stand by it.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.