Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Too Criticizing of Myself
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November 13, 2016 at 7:09 pm #120311AnonymousGuest
Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Yes, your love of science is evident in your posts throughout the longest thread in the history of tiny buddha!
I like your assertion: “I am working to come to terms with myself, to unveil the dark parts and bring them to the light, to analyze my problems and solve them.”
You said to the worldly critics:
“you can break everything that i have, but what’s left will be my soul with all its radiant grace
“you can take away the coats of paint, but you cannot take away the freedom of myself to choose my life, my beliefs and the freedom for me to make my own path
so take what you want from me, but know that with every layer, you take away, the more you reveal my soul fire.
for as long as my heart is beating, i will follow my heart and fly on my wings.”
This is absolutely beautiful, absolutely remarkable. I am at awe reading these lines. You sure are a precious, beautiful Earth Angel. You sure are!
anita
November 15, 2016 at 1:48 pm #120452JanusParticipantthanks a lot anita. i have six more days of november before thanksgiving break, but so much work to do. i am freaking out.
i realize i’m not the best with word problems that deal with how much area you need to minimize a cost or something like that. it’s only been two days of learning it and it seemed relatively simple until there were complex problems thrown in. the classmates in java are as loud and annoying as ever and i still need to catch up on four programs. i feel like an idiot currently when it comes to logic problems for ap calc. i need to have around 11 pages for mitosis,meiosis and cancer (which isn’t too bad) done for ap biology possibly around thurs. when i have another 2 hour exam (that is if the teacher decides to keep the date or move it back). my ap calc teacher also said i have ap questions 1-20 and 2 open-ended questions due sometimes next week, i’m thinking possibly wednesday. also for thanksgiving break, i will probably work on completing college applications and studying for satsNovember 15, 2016 at 5:03 pm #120457AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Very busy, lots of work to do, tests and preparations. I am rooting for you, Shirley. Keep yourself as calm as possible. Keep in perspective that we only have this one night, this one day, and may not have the next. Weigh the current pressures in that context. Protect your mental well being, it is most important. One hour, one day at a time. Living well requires endless patience and wise self management.
anita
November 17, 2016 at 3:31 pm #120606JanusParticipanti finished my ap biology notes on wednesday and andrew was helping me study them. andrew has a great sense of humor and we make each other laugh. the test got moved to friday. i also have 6 more questions for an ap calc assignment due tuesday. the whole of three days for next week are half-days and i will be home by 11:30 and after the three days of next week, thanksgiving break. i have to study for u.s history ii holocaust test monday ans prepare for an ap calc test on optimization (what would be the most efficient method for something or someone to consider) problems. an optimization problem could help calculate the least amount of distance you need to cover in an area or maybe how to maximize your profits. i am having trouble understanding the logic behind the word problems and this week the teacher hasn’t been able to stay after. i hope i will do well on the test on tuesday for ap calc. the teacher goes a bit fast with java and the classmates are still loud, so i’m still falling slightly behind.
November 17, 2016 at 8:15 pm #120613AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
My goodness! So much work, reading all the work you have in front of you is making me dizzy! Good you get a laugh here and there with Andrew. Friday, three short days next week and Thanksgiving- keep yourself as calm and focus on each task best you can, practicing maintaining focus through (java class) noise and other less than ideal conditions best you can.
anita
November 21, 2016 at 2:58 pm #120840JanusParticipantalso i have 3.5 projects to finish for java and a test tomorrow along with the ap calc test. i think i understand most of the word problems for ap calc, i may bring a angel figurine with me to relax me. currently i’m a bit nervous b/c i left my notebook with my ap calc notes in it in ap biology since my ap biology teacher needed to grade me notes. i still have question 4d on the free response that is due tomorrow and i need help so i will ask the ap calc teacher tomorrow first thing. i have ap calc as my first block. i took a u.s history 2 test and i think i received at least an 80 on it. on friday, my inner bully wa raving at me saying how i would never get anything done, that i am worthless, see how far behind i am in java. it annoyed me so much that i had a headache and then the next day, i caught a slight cold. it has become better today esp. after talking on tinybuddha. the slight cold took my mind away from the inner bully and more onto my physical health. physical health and mental health are connected. so the slight cold made me realize how the inner bully was affecting me and i realized i was going to have to work on healing my past to heal my present. i realize that physical pain is easier to deal than emotional pain. it’s like the song by staind “never surrender” which has the lyrics “do you know what it’s like to hear that voice in me? do you know what’s it’s like to be your own worst enemy? who sees the things in me that i can’t hide.” the inner bully picks at the flaws that i have and since it’s within, i sees the things i can’t hide. but i will work on radiating my inner angel and not my inner bully. i like to imagine me as an angel of golden light burning up the inner bully hawk that tries to grab me. if i get time to compose my “soul fire” poem i will probably write about setting the inner bully aflame and being able to rise upon my wings of golden light into a fiery flight of strong, dignified might.
November 21, 2016 at 6:56 pm #120868AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Good to be back on our regular thread. Next month it will be the one year anniversary of this thread- I will get the date and mark it on my calendar. I like “inner angel” even more than “inner best friend” because you are an earth angel and Inner Angel fits the best!
The inner bully does cause and maintain illness, and for a lot of people. Like in the lyrics you quoted, people do complain about their inner bully, using other terms like worst enemy.
Two more days, Tues, Wed, minimum days (11:30). Do take the angel figurine- to remind you of the Inner Angel inside Earth Angel.
anita
November 22, 2016 at 11:16 am #120950JanusParticipantthat is quite cool, the one year anniversary of this thread:D so i received an 87 on my u.s. history ii test, think i failed the ap calc quiz today since i didn’t remember the formulas to solve for two problems and there were four in total. i was pretty calm during the test and there were times when my mind understood the problems, but it was still a bit hard esp. since i had left my notes in ap biology yesterday. i think i received at least an 87 on the java test. so today is 11/22 and 11*2= 22 and also 1+1=2 and 2+2= 4 which means four is half of two. four has often been a number to represent industry and work ethic and two is about duality so possibly a duality with the universe to help create abundance. i’m getting better at numerology lately. i have to outline possibly a chapter (if the teacher goes over another half, it might be 1.5) for ap biology. we are learning about how genes are passed onto different generations. my brain is a bit strained from all the tests and work of this week. the java students are as loud as ever and the teacher keeps adding projects with each chapter so now i have 4.5 projects to do.
November 22, 2016 at 12:00 pm #120954AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Dec 30 last year is when you started this thread, so we’ll somehow celebrate its anniversary.
Numerology- I used to pay a lot of attention to numbers when in the height of my OCD- I no longer do, no longer believe there is a meaning to numbers other than on a cash register, industry, science and such.
The fact that you were quite calm during a test today is good news- hope your Inner Angel congratulates you for every progress you make, none is too small for an Inner Angel to notice and congratulate you for.
anita
November 25, 2016 at 11:27 am #121147JanusParticipantso i just finished my ap biology test corrections for ch. 12,13,18.5 and i got to the last question that i got wrong and i did some research on it and my mind is completely mind-boggled by amazement.
here is question 77 on the test:
Which of the following about the DNA in your brain cells is true?
A. Most of the DNA codes for protein.
B. The majority of the genes are likely to be transcribed.
C. Each gene lies immediately adjacent to an enhancer.
D. Many of the genes are grouped into operon-like clusters. (prokaryotic cells, not us)
E. It is the same as the DNA in your heart cells.I originally chose A for this question because I was thinking that the genes in a cell’s DNA function by being transcribed and processed by mRNA. mRNA leaves the nucleus and is translated into a specific protein. So i was thinking that the DNA would code for the synthesis of proteins. But that is wrong.
The answer’s E. I researched this online and it amazes me. So all of the cells in your body have the same DNA and same genes since all the cells started from a single fertilized egg. Even though, the cells have the same DNA and genes, different cells read and express the genes differently. Similar to two cooks with a cookbook, the breakfast cook only has to read the breakfast chapter and the lunch cook only reads the lunch section. So the heart muscle can select which genes it wants to turn on and be expressed and which ones will be turned off and ignored.
This made me question how we are all different people if our bodies run the same way and all of our cells in our bodies have the same DNA, then why aren’t all of the people the same since we all originated from a fertilized egg?
And the answer has to do with random assortment of chromosomes during metaphase I of meiosis. the maternal chromosomes and the paternal chromosomes align randomly at the metaphase plate. instead of all the maternal chromosomes going to one side of the pole (ends of the fibers that they dangle off of), they orient themselves randomly with a mix of maternal and paternal on either side. the independent assortment of chromosomes accounts for in humans 2^23 or 8.4 million possible combinations of chromosomes. Since the number of chromosomes during random assortment is represented by 2^n where n is the number of chromosomes contained in an organism’s gametes. Humans have 46 chromosomes total and half of the chromosomes exist in the gametes which is 23.
Also crossing over in prophase I of meiosis in which the maternal and paternal chromosomes share segments with each other helps with genetic variation, you now have DNA from both parents inherited upon a single chromosome. However, say if you have a chromosome with an allele (part of a gene that expresses a trait) coding for brown hair from mom and another allele coding for blonde hair from dad. the alleles that code for hair color can exist on the same gene, but one may be expressed over the other. the dominant allele is brown (B, either Bb or BB) and the recessive is blonde (bb). since alleles can also assort randomly like chromosomes.
another factor that contributes to genetic variety is random fertilization, a sperm and egg can produce 2^23 * 2^23 or 70 trillion combinations and if we add in the crossing over part, then the number would be a lot higher.
Also a privet shrub has 46 chromosomes like a human, but the shrub reads the genes differently than we as humans do.
Science never ceases to astound me, we are truly part of a integral universe, yet each of us is unique in our own way.
November 25, 2016 at 1:07 pm #121155JanusParticipantAlso a chemist Theresa Dankovich (at Carnegie Mellon has created a “Drinkable Book” which has copper and silver particles to filter out bacteria in water. It will give those in say South Africa who don’t have access to clean water, a chance to have safe water to drink. Each page can filter 100 L of water and the book could last for a year. I’m totally impressed. Also David Whitlock (chemical engineer and MIT grad) hasn’t showered for 12 years and uses Mother Dirt AO+ Mist on his skin. He has a company called AOBiome in Cambridge, MA. The company has created a product called Mother Dirt that sprays live bacteria on skin twice a day, it has no odor and feels like water. There are probiotics (good bacteria) that are found in foods like yogurt. There are also ammonia oxidizing bacteria (AO bacteria) that are naturally found in dirt and this bacteria converts sweat’s ammonia and urea into good bacteria with anti-inflammatory properties.
“Drinkable Book” was mentioned in Coffee News and also in Washington Post. Mother Dirt was also mentioned in Coffee News and Medical Daily (explains the future of modern medical technologies and science, they have also figured out Soft robots that mimic human behavior). Coffee News is a thin front and back page news that comes around every 3 or so weeks and they tell of some cool news, have fun jokes and also have a cool trivia.
A company in San Francisco called Elysium Space (Coffee News) is providing a final resting place on the moon for those who can spare $12,000. This company was founded by NASA engineer Thomas Civeit and they expect to be able to transport someone’s ashes to the moon in 2017. I think this is pretty cool, but I think the ashes will also cause some pollution in space if it is possible and we don’t need to pollute the environment.
All of these experiments make me want to become a chemist now. I was interested in theoretical physics b/c einstein’s theory of space-time and stephen hawking’s theory on black holes amazes me, but it seems a bit complicated. but i will probably be a biochemist and combine both the fields and at the same time i will keep a watch on skies as well as an ear out for any new innovative inventions coming out. i’m not the most mechanical-minded so physics isn’t the right science for me, but i think it is still cool. Currently I have been reading stories about psychology (including LGBT and other identities and their personalities) and also about bullying and they are quite inspirational and intriguing. i am also reading many philosophical books that question “who am i?” and also i plan to read a book on rocks and minerals since i’m always finding different rocks and minerals upon which i want to identify. my curiosity on how the world came together and who people truly are is insatiable, i keep finding new things that pull me. i have friends who want me to go into computer science and some who want me to be an athlete and i have others who think i’ll be a scientist, all of them are pulling me in many directions since i have so many interests, but science and spirituality will likely be where i go.
here is a fun trivia that will help your mind be less boggled about the science advancements (i got an 80%, got the last question wrong) answers in russian, tried to translate them to latin, but it didn’t work:
1. Who wrote The Fountainhead?
2. What is the term given for the study of codes?
b. What about the study of handwriting?
3. What part of the plant produces pollen?
4. A doubling cube can be found in backgammon. True or False?
5. Used in soups, stews or sauces, what is a bouquet garni?Answers:
1. Айн рэнд
2. коды: криптография или криптологии
b. Почерк: графологии
3. тычинка
4. правда
5. пучок травNovember 25, 2016 at 8:11 pm #121163AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
These two posts are classic Shirley, a science enthusiast, fascinated with learning and knowing more about the mind and the universe.
In the question about the DNA in brain cells, interesting it didn’t specify what brain cells as not all brain cells are neurons. There is a connective tissue there and blood cells and what not. But yes, the DNA in every cell is identical. Except in red blood cells, as I remember, because those have no nuclei.
Thanks for the fun trivia. “1. Who wrote The Fountainhead?” – Ayn Rand
2. What is the term given for the study of codes? Sociolinguistics (?)
study of handwriting? Graphology
3. What part of the plant produces pollen? Stamen
4. A doubling cube can be found in backgammon. True or False? правда (meaning, I don’t know)
5. Used in soups, stews or sauces, what is a bouquet garni? The bouquet garni is a bundle of herbs usually tied together with string and mainly used to prepare soup, stock, and various stews. The bouquet is cooked with the other ingredients, but is removed prior to consumption.. most recipes include thyme and bay leaf..(Wait, this is more than a one word answer!)
Bed time for me!
anita
November 26, 2016 at 10:08 am #121198JanusParticipantsorry about how some of the words didn’t translate as well, the answer to the study of codes is cryptography or cryptology and the answer to the backgammon question is true. sociolinguistics is the study of societal values esp. languages and culture.i got the last question wrong and i like your answer for it. in my cooking/sewing class in sophomore year, i used bay leaf for a spanish rice recipe and it was quite good. some of the herbs i really enjoy are ginger, garlic, cinnamon, and thyme. i haven’t tried horseradish in a while, but i also like it as well. cool that red blood cells don’t share the same DNA b/c they don’t have any nuclei. so the average nuclear physicist earns 112,090 as of may 2011 while a biochemist/ biophysicist earns 82,150. i wonder what accounts for this gap. a web developer earns 64,970 as of 2015. so whether i go for nuclear physics or biochemistry, i’ll still be making more than my brother as a web developer. nuclear physics could study the universe or they could study atomic radiation (i think we have enough atomic bombs, so why not study how to decrease this) and biochemistry could study the chemical and biological processes of people such as metabolism, cell development and hereditary. genetics also has similar aspects, but they deal more with actual genes and disorders of people. i think genetics and biochemistry are quite related, yet a geneticists earns 75,150 per year less than a biochemist.
November 26, 2016 at 11:19 am #121213AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Thank you for pointing to the difference between cryptography/ cryptology and sociolinguistics.
I support your lack of motivation to contribute to the atomic bombs industry! Regarding the average salaries- how much a person gets paid has a lot to do with WHO is paying and is there a UNION/ legal power behind the employees. People with the same education and position will not get paid the same- it depends on the wealth of the employer (be it government of private) and the political power of the legal institution behind them, such as a union.
I am not an expert and I didn’t read the above anywhere- this is my personal observations and understanding of basics. What do you think?
anita
November 26, 2016 at 5:07 pm #121221JanusParticipanti like your reasoning. also i think having a company that allows for unions is better. people with higher degrees often get paid more so that is why i want to go for my doctorate degree. i hate it when people think my life or career is “cursed” b/c i decide to go to a community college to get the intro courses out of the way. i know community colleges have smaller classes and less course selections and most people don’t think they are good academically so they think that will ruin your career. yet transfers of two year colleges have a higher chance of acceptance and have a better understanding of college life after being at a community college. there are people who judge the person whose on the outside and think that i’m a stupid person b/c i’m taking the first two years at a community college. yet since i’m in the top 15% of my class and i have a lot of school activities i get a free tuition at community college. i know whatever happens in my life, it doesn’t matter what the critics think since the more they think something, the more i want to antagonize them and do the opposite of what they want. i won’t be told what career i can’t go into or what i can and can’t be b/c i’ll do what makes me happy. does it matter that i’m not very mechanical minded or that i’m not the best test taker? i have other talents and i will make them work for me. “let this earth angel unfurl her wings, awaken the fire in her heart and light up the world with her authentic voice. for as long as i’m still breathing and my mind keeps thinking, this earth angel is going to follow her heart home.”
Benefits of Community College:
Affordability: In 2008-2009 year, the average annual tuition for community college was $2,402 which is about $4,000 less than a four-year college.
Location: nearby your home so you can commute back and forth
Flexibility: There may be multiple sections of the same or similar course offered at different points of the day to accommodate a busy schedule. At four year colleges, most classes are offered during the day with a few night classes.
Generally Smaller Class, So Better Teacher Interaction: You can have greater interaction and discussions with the teacher helping you to learn better than at a four-year college which has lots of students.
A Time to Adjust: You can live at home and be a part-time or full-time student. Community colleges give students a chance to adjust to being independent without being too far from home.
A Second Chance: If you do well at a community college, it shows that you have work ethic and increases your acceptance as a transfer to four-year schools. Even if your grades weren’t optimal in high school, you can have a second chance at community college.
Possible Disadvantages
Make sure the credits you take are transferrable to the four-year college.
The lack of on-campus housing makes playing sports and extracurriculars challenging.
There may be a lack of resources for in depth research since they have smaller libraries than regular universities which receive more funding.
I know I’ve heard people say community colleges don’t show academic potential since anyone can get in, but they also give a chance to get the intro courses out of the way. Also if you have a good gpa and class rank, there is a good chance that you will get a tuition scholarship. At community colleges, they can explain certain topics more clearly since they have a smaller class so the students may be better equipped for a four-year university when they transfer. -
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