8 years ago I finally broke into working in a nonprofit where I could use at least some of my interests to earn a living. Then the recession came and it closed. I used all kinds of strategies to keep working and keep my dream alive. But even making a living became a huge challenge. Despite having skills and a Master’s Degree, I was struggling.

I am still struggling. I will turn 59 in July. I have spent my whole life striving to have a creative, passionate career. I have tried various angles for combining my mission and my talents. But I keep ending up in lower and lower paying jobs. My income went down from the high 30s 10 years age to the mid 20s and now it is $190 a week in unemployment since being laid off from a job telemarketing job.

I live in a cheap $500 a month apartment I may soon be unable to pay for. I have no money or time to go on dates. I am nice and fairly good looking but haven’t had a girlfriend since these troubles began and have missed my chance to have a family and kids.

As I face old age I feel extremely depressed about how my creative efforts have failed. I am trying to get any job. I do not have to have it in my passion (but gee wouldn’t that be nice before the end of my days?). I sunk so much into my career. I tried different approaches. I would do any work to pay my rent. I have fallen into the lower class.

I don’t plan to stop working so I need to eventually find a way to make my work more in an area(s) of my interests and passions since that is what I am going to spend most of my time doing until I am 80 years old should I live so long.

I am told I am a good writer – very good. I blog on other the websites of organizations that do work I am interested in.

It just seems to me the Universe has said that I am not supposed to get any fulfillment in this lifetime. That my fate is to experience disappointment to the greatest possible level. That is what it seems.