URGENT (Friendship issues): Please your Opinion is needed

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This topic has 11 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 3 months ago by Swanky.

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September 21, 2016 at 3:13 am #115771

Swanky
Participant

Hello Everyone,

I have this close friend of mine, whom I love so much, but she left me without a reason, tried several times to ask why, she will simply get upset or ignore me.

So I got fed up and stopped contacting her cos I didn’t want to look desperate and I didn’t want to like force her.
Friendship should come naturally.

We haven’t spoken for about 4 months now, and sometimes I cant help it,I still reminisce and think about her sometimes and often wish but then I remember the saying “Once bitten twice shy”

The issue right now is I noticed within those months she just kept liking most especially my pictures on social media all the time, I really don’t know why, could it be she was trying to communicate with me?

Also on another occasion, my phone was switched off, but she called my mums phone cos when we were still best of friends, if I don’t have credit on my phone. I’d use my Mums phone to reach out to her

So my Mum called me to see that my friend called, but I refused calling back cos I thought probably it was a mistake and I was still very bitter

Her birthday is Next month, and I really want to wish her happy birthday, no strings attached. Yes I miss her but am not sure she feels same way. So definitely I won’t bring up anything about reuniting our friendship cos I know it will never work

Can I still wish her happy Birthday? And what do you guys think about the earlier events above, do you think she misses me or she’s trying to communicate with me?

Your Responses are needed

September 21, 2016 at 4:59 am #115776

Inky
Participant

Hi Eddy,

It sounds like she misses you and is sending out feelers.

What I would do is respond in kind. If she “Likes” something, “Like” something of hers back on social media.

Return her call.

I would not talk or act on actively re-sparking the friendship, however. I would make her do all the initial communication and work.

And you don’t have to wish her a Happy Birthday. You are off the hook for that.

Good Luck!

Inky

September 21, 2016 at 7:49 am #115778

Alien incident47
Participant

Wish her a happy birthday , show her you have no issues with her and have no issues with let her know she is still in your thoughts, she may have wanted to be more then friends and you could not give her that .good luck

September 21, 2016 at 9:05 am #115789
Swanky
Participant
Hello Inky, Thank you so much for your Response

Its like you know what I have in mind.
I want her to make the move and show interest
thats if she really misses our Friendship together.

But I honestly don’t see ourselves being friends again due to past experiences.

She hardly posts pictures or posts about herself on Social Media, just once in a while and I do Retweet or Favorite some
- This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Swanky.
September 21, 2016 at 9:09 am #115792

Swanky
Participant

Thanks I will do as you have said

September 21, 2016 at 9:09 am #115793

Swanky
Participant

Any More Suggestions

September 21, 2016 at 9:24 am #115801

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Eddy:

You wrote above: “I honestly don’t see ourselves being friends again due to past experiences.”

Then the friendship is over and done with.

anita

September 21, 2016 at 10:25 am #115808

Swanky
Participant

Yea it is, but I kinda have a feeling she still thinks about me.

If not, how do you explain her Liking my Posts on Social Media? And even when she called my Mum?

September 21, 2016 at 10:27 am #115809

Gunter
Participant

Hi Eddy
On the one hand you say that you don’t see the friendship starting up again. On the other hand you are still thinking about wishing her a happy birthday. It sounds like both of you are unsure where this could potentially go, and both of you are afraid of being hurt again.

Here’s what I would suggest:
Send her a birthday card. In that card, mention that you miss her. Tell her that you do not understand what you may have done that would upset her that much. Also let her know that she is in your thoughts and that you do appreciate all the good times you spent together as friends, and that you will always cherish those memories.

If she is interested in continuing the friendship, she will understand that you are being sincere, and she will contact you. If she does nothing, then take the good memories, tuck them away in a corner of your Heart, and accept that this is one of those relationships in life that was only meant to last a certain time.

Hope that helps!
Gunter

September 21, 2016 at 10:35 am #115811

Swanky
Participant

Hello Grunter

Thank you so much for your Reply

Well, why I think our friendship cannot work again is due to the way I was treated by her in the past.

Last year, she stopped talking to me for no reason, I strongly believe there is a reason, but she refused to tell me,each time i asked, she used passive aggressive words on me and all that, I decided to let go for about three months and then we bumped into each other again and she was like blaming me for not calling her, that I just forgot her and abandoned her and right now I am tried dodging her.

Lol I actually tried to dodge her, till our eyes just met, so I couldn’t run.

So I gave our friendship a second chance this time around, hoping to amend the past and also I wanted to know her reason for ignoring me those times and her hostile attitude towards me.

At first she promised to see me and discuss things and then later on, she changed her mind and refused seeing me…

I tried to get her to see me for several weeks earlier this year, but it didn’t work.

So I started drifting away slowly from her, had to change my phone, so that I won’t get too tempted to talk to her on bbm.

I often wonder Why she doesn’t want to come out plainly to end the friendship?

I don’t know about her, but am scared of being hurt again.

September 23, 2016 at 10:02 am #116006

Swanky
Participant

More Suggestions pls

September 25, 2016 at 10:43 am #116211

Swanky
Participant

Hello Guys
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