Yes they hug her back

Hi Anita, having a side hug with her. Will just make me feel sad that I can’t have what I want. I intend to avoid her the few times I go to work though. I go the office twice a week, so I guess I can manage to avoid those hugs by not staying in the same office as she and perhaps not chatting with her online too often might reduce the familiarity as well.

That’s very true Anita and I need the amicable relationship because I may need her help at anytime. She has been quite helpful and has been an Amazing Boss, so I am not going to let these feelings make me Selfish. But also I definitely need this coming week to be able to accept things, because that’s the only way I can move on and stare at reality and to only see that she is nice and friendly with everyone. I can’t believe I am the one typing this, it’s so easy to type but hard to achieve. So I’d respond to the side hugs if she gives it, but I ain’t pecking or hugging her ever again. I don’t want to get vulnerable again.

For the last part of your message, I don’t think I want to strike a conversation with her, except she brings it up and directly asks me, but of course we know most straight women wouldn’t.  I know for a fact that she has seen that my likeness maybe more as she is a very keen person. She has once told me she reads minds and understands human psychology. So Even when I get vulnerable, I will excuse myself politely like you said earlier and rinse my face with water to cool off.

Hi Anita, thanks for the response thus far. We have been chatting back and forth extensively and I am starting to feel better that I am not alone in this.

But I want to ask you, what’s the point of discussing with her about my feelings? Her response the other day shows she is straight, so talking to her won’t change it. It won’t ease the pain I am feeling at the moment. Hopefully things won’t get too difficult for me, cos I don’t think there are times she tries to be alone with me. I believe that’s only when such temptation can come up. As for her inviting me to her place, she hasn’t mentioned it since last year Dec, so I guess that won’t come up again, but if it does, I will dodge.  I guess the only fear I have at the moment is if she would start acting awkward towards me by next week, that’s why I earlier mentioned if we are both mature about it, we can move on. Will update you on her attitude towards me by next week if it has changed.