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What does one do with negative feelings?

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  • #60646
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    We all experience negative emotions. I for one am dealing with quite a number these days – fear, sadness, loneliness, anger, resentment, worry, apprehension, shame, longing, confusion…the list goes on an fluctuates from hour to hour.

    Like my positive feelings, I know these negative ones will pass, but when they’re here, they drain my energy – I’m tired, distracted, and overall unproductive.

    I keep reminding myself, this too shall pass. And they do. Throughout the day, there are moments of clarity and peace and for a short period they briefly replenish me.

    This state that I’m in won’t last forever. This too shall pass. But, I’m worried that life is passing me by and these negative emotions are not allowing me to engage in life fully – not a contributing member of society. Is there anything I can do, other than passively observe myself going through these motions until they pass and wait for the next calm before the storm? The storm is lasting quite some time and I get cabin fever.

    What is required here? Patience, stillness, observing?

    #60647
    Pooch
    Participant

    What helps me deal with negative emotions is making sure I get a good night’s rest, eat healthy, exercise and meditate. Also, it is good to process negative emotions (writing them down, making plans to make changes, and/or talking to friends and/or family about your negative feelings). Unless we process them, the negative emotions will probably keep resurfacing.

    Hope this helps.

    #60653
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    Thanks Pooch.

    Talking about negative feelings makes those around me worry, so it’s not always easy to share. And to be honest, I sometimes get tired of hearing myself talk and always feeling to have my feeling be the enter of attention in a conversation.

    I will try to write more often though. Thank you

    #60656
    Gusto
    Participant

    Hi Little Buddha, wow it looked like you’ve been reading over my shoulder when I read your post. I can identify with your situation.
    Some of the things that are working for me are ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) especially the writings of Russ Harris, meditation for at least 25min (it’s amazing how it clears my mind of the static and gets it working on my problems) and writing my thoughts when I’m in a good mood or confident about something. I also agree with all of Pooch’s comments but when I tried to write down the negative stuff it seemed to reinforce it rather than help me distance it.

    #60659
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks Pooch and Murphy. Excellent sweet and short insights 🙂

    Hi Little Buddha

    I had to read your other posts to understand where you are coming from. I am sorry that you find yourself in this state. Have you sought medical attention as yet ? Sometimes, our bodies need that extra little support to raise us above the line.

    You are in the habit of regretting every decision you make, yeah ? Hey, have you wondered why you do that ? Where is the root of this issue ?

    Once, you realise that you are 100 % responsible for all that happens in your life (good or bad), perhaps you wont feel so guilty. What you need is the courage to accept the outcomes or consequences of your decisions. What is the worst that can happen with wrong decisions ? If you ask me, nothing major. It is not like any of your decisions are going to cause life harm to anyone unless you are doing it intentionally !!!

    All our decisions (good or bad) lead to outcomes. Some outcomes are favourable and some not so favourable. Favourable results give us immense joy and peace, while not so favourable ones lead to grief, guilt and fear of failure in the future. But hey, have you ever tried to look for the silver lining for the unfavourable outcomes ? Nothing happens for no reason in this world. Look around in the nature for proof.

    Every incident, relationship, event etc can teach us something valuable if we allow it to…..and then this new learning helps us move forward in life and expand even further. There is no stopping or graduation days in life school. Those people who refuse to learn the lessons get stuck in the rut of guilt, grief, denial, unhappiness, lack of clarity etc and the cycle continues day in and day out.

    There are only very few things, which are actually in OUR control: our reactions, feelings, emotions and actions. Rest is all out of bounds for everyone’s well-being. Other people’s reactions, actions, emotions or what happens in their lives because of us or themselves is NOT our issue at a basic level. We cant take ownership for anyone else on this planet even if we wanted to. Life doesn’t work this way. We come alone and we go alone. Your decisions are yours to make and my decisions are mine to make. Your results are yours to bear and mine are mine to bear. We cant share or dissipate as we please 🙁

    The major reason for all negativity in life is due to lack of awareness. Most of us are not aware of our own power. We have been conditioned to chase and chase and chase but no one knows what we are chasing. If you sit down quietly, you will hear your inner voice tell you what Little Buddha seeks. Once you tap into that inner voice, you will be on the right path and negativity will not cause destruction in life.

    We all need negative emotions to keep us on our toes so that we are learning and moving forward. It is all about a balance – yin and yang, male and female; sun and moon, dark and light etc. Don’t be afraid of these emotions. Learn to deal with them head on. Only saints or those with very high consciousness can just sit and let these emotions pass through. For the rest of us, we need to take personal responsibility and learn the lesson and march ahead. The more we are able to do this, the more confident we become in our innate abilities. We don’t need to then depend on others for our sanity 🙂

    These things work for me when I am feeling low:
    – music – soul soothing music, loud music, dance music etc. Don’t listen to sad music please as it only worsens the current state of mind

    – charity – making a meal for a homeless, orphaned kid, buying a cuppa for a lonely elderly in the mall etc. You cant imagine how much positive vibes are sent your way when you bring a smile on someone else’s face. If everyone’s basic needs could be fulfilled on this earth, we would have an illuminated planet.

    – being close to nature – walks in the park, playing with pets, sitting around a lake or an ocean watching a sunrise or set etc; we get a lot of positive energy from sun so even sitting out for 10 mins a day, you will feel the difference in your outlook.

    – meditation : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b05pGueHux8

    The above meditation will balance out your chakra if you believe in energy. Try it for 10 mins a day for a few days and see the difference. Love will flow easily through you for self and others.

    – praying for other’s well being – again, I cant tell you how much blessings you get in return when you are able to offer prayers for loved ones or other earthlings. I am not sure what you think about this concept as a bloke but try it before you buy it.

    Two principles which help me stay sane and keep moving forward and it has been good so far:

    1. We are 100 % responsible for whatever happens in our lives and if we do not like the life film being played in front of us then have the courage to change the inner film (ie, inner state of my mind).

    2. We get what we give out. Give more love and receive more love. Give more negativity and receive more, lol

    Sending you loads of positive energy and hope this post will bring a smile on your face 🙂

    Jasmine

    #60680
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for your responses.

    Jasmine, you said, “Once, you realise that you are 100 % responsible for all that happens in your life (good or bad), perhaps you wont feel so guilty.” I entirely agree, that I’m 100% responsible. However, so far, many of my decisions in my life have pushed people further and further away – lost friends, lost marriage, lost relationships, lost co-workers, lost contact. As hard as I try to fit in, I continue to alienate myself from the rest of the world. I am entirely responsible, but unless I change, I’m afraid the future looks bleak and lonely.

    I do like what you said about learning from the past, but I’m not sure what lesson to learn. Did I not try hard enough? Did I try too hard? Where did I go wrong? How can I better understand what lesson to garner from this experience and grow from it? Who can help me better understand? (I realize that last question goes against your comment about not depending on anyone for our sanity)

    I can’t seem to hear the little voice inside me, because the big voice keeps yelling at me and making me feel bad. I’m afraid of my own shadow and walk around the world on eggshells trying not to crack anymore.

    I do like your recommendations on what to do when feeling low. I will put them into practice.

    Once again. Thanks for the help.

    #60684
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks Little Buddha.

    You are trying to alienate yourself subconsciously because you are running low on energy. Your higher self is trying to protect you and guide you ahead on how you can find your inner balance again.

    Take a mobile phone as an example: we use it until the battery drains and then what happens ? We cant use it until we charge the battery, right ? Similarly, humans need charging. When our energy runs low, we do not want to be around anything that drains us further so we get into a mode of running away from everything in search for that peace or that inner bliss.

    How does our battery drain ? By everything around us. At a basic level, we are atomic particles vibrating at various frequencies. Vibration creates energy so we are all energy at the end of the day. Energy flows from high to low. When we are surrounded by a certain energy, which is higher than ours, the flow starts to occur until an equilibrium reaches. You are probably surrounded with loads of negativity.

    Energy can be depleted by anything and everything on this planet – from information to people to food etc. It is important for us to replenish our energy from time to time so we don’t reach a lowish state of havoc.

    How do we increase our energy on a consistent basis ? By eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, we increase our energy. By exercising, we increase our energy. By praying or meditating, we increase our energy. By sharing and caring, we increase our energy. By smiling and accepting everything as is, we increase our energy. By going with the life’s flow, we increase our energy.

    What brings our energy down ? By engaging in gossip; by putting someone down; by engaging with people who are vibrating at negative frequency; by competing with others to bring them down so that we can feel superior; by reading or listening to negative information; by putting dead food into the body; by not exercising the body; by being ungrateful; by going against the flow; by letting our mind create a havoc etc. You get the message, yeah ?

    What are some super and quick ways of increasing energy: the ones that I had discussed in my previous posts.

    What is your lesson ? I think it is to accept yourself for who you are with all your flaws and strengths. I feel you are running away from Little Buddha. Hey, why do that ? You have not done anything wrong. Even if you have, there is nothing in this world that cant be forgiven 🙂 Take a moment each day to forgive yourself and everyone else who has caused you grief. I promise that within a few days your positivity quotient will double then triple and finally become infinite !!!

    You will hear the inner voice. Have patience. We all have it. Once you raise your positivity quotient, it will come roaring at you hahahahahaha.

    Best wishes,

    Jasmine

    #60688
    Natasha
    Participant

    My son always looked like a little man and never a baby – he wasn’t chubby… and he was walking crawling so early – walking at 8 months old! He looked like a freak walking through the grocery store with no understanding of the world – he’d walk off a cliff of stairs because he had no concept of anything – just walking around like a little man with no brains LOL. People would stop and stare – one lady took a picture – he was so tiny to begin with and so tiny walking – okay – you get my point.

    He is still very mature for his age – I have read about the travels of a soul. I am guessing he is an old soul – the spiritual teaching I acquired now in my middle age, seems to be meant for him to start out this way. Sometimes – he astounds me at his integrity, his values – his self love and his wisdom that rocks my world. Yes they are things that I have taught him – but he lives them stoically and quietly – with humility beyond my comprehension.

    He also has fits of rage like a 7 yr old only can – and to some degree, I see he is already experiencing the pains that can come with living and being able to see our suffering dysfunction world/humanity. Still – they are short lived – and necessary I believe to releasing emotion. I am able to stand by him in acceptance for all that he is and offers – and he is grateful and understanding too.

    Sometimes when I write this out – I feel like it can’t possibly be real = it’s like a movie to me or something. Maybe it is the ACA in me waiting for the other shoe to drop or things to fall apart. But he offers constancy and we are kindred spirits. My daughter listens and watches and takes it all in. Some day I think she will surprise me. She is her fathers daughter – and he is innately spiritual… though he doesn’t quite know how to say that *yet*. I look forward to the day he will discover his true self wholly – but I feel satisfied believing in it though I may never get to see it in this life.

    I feel for you with the wanting – I am attuned to what I am ‘being’, and the loving heart you have wants to break free and penetrate through the existing barriers so badly. The better actions you take will bring you relief for the better thinking your soul craves. Balance awaits dear friend.

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