July 10, 2014 at 1:40 am #60523
I just need some suggestion . What would you do if u took a very big decision which you had always wanted but due to your circumstances you changed your decision but now you realize your first decision was a right one and you can’t keep the second decision . My decision involve lots of people including my parents and the person whom I had very big respect, but it’s about my life . Can anyone help .July 10, 2014 at 2:44 am #60524RJGParticipant
With no details of what your decision is, i would just say that as long as any of ur decision does not HARM anyone, u should go ahead & do tat…yes, it might hurt the people involved…but you need to sit back & religiously analyse the depth of hurt…will the hurt harm them physically/emotionally/mentally? or things would ease pretty well with time?….many a times we cum across such situations when our decisions dont please peole…when everyone who matters to us are resentful abt our decisions…but it doesn nt mean tat our decisions wud b wrong all the time…here’s wen u need a little analysis…without being biased abt wanting to go ahead wit ur decision…sit back & think over it as a third person…as a spectator…n then decide…if u were not in the position u r & if u see sum1 in ur position, will u still take the decision u have been wanting to? I am sure u wud get ur answer…but yea…in the course of dng so, u will have to accept wat ever cums ur way…
Loads of wishes…m sure u will take a wise decision…which wud keep u & all the ones involved happy @ the end of the day…
🙂July 10, 2014 at 4:06 am #60531
It’s about my life , I want to change my life style . I’m so tempted to change my decision .well sometime I think , that if I changed my decision ,it will hurt my loved ones , I will get all kind of bad rep ,but I can’t live on like this . You think I m bad .as for my loved ones they are not happy with what I had done so either way I m stuck .its like I changed my decision for a nothing . What do u think?July 10, 2014 at 6:08 am #60535jyotiParticipant
Why don’t you talk to people around you… I think that they will understand your situation and help you take a decision.July 10, 2014 at 7:33 am #60538
Well , i m with my parents right now , i cant talk to them cause i had already given them so much pain . All my sister are far away . I dont feel like talking to my friends cause i know they goona think im stupid to change my decision . Im not sure if it gets out that i m again changing my decision then god know whats goona happen . Well what do you jyotiJuly 10, 2014 at 7:34 am #60539lissyParticipant
@chungta I would think about whether or not I could live with myself if I didn’t make the decision that I truly wanted. Yes your decision might hurt people you love, but in reality you must do what makes you happy, if not, you will be the one to suffer. As @jyoti mentioned, as long as your decision does not HARM anyone I think you should do what it is you want to do. People in your life will not always understand, respect, or agree with decisions you make. This cannot stop you EVER from making them. You have to walk in your own shoes everyday, you have to live in your mind, body, and soul. Not anyone else. Therefor no one else should be able to convince you not to do something you think will truly make your life complete or happy. I would consider thinking this through again and ask yourself if you could really live happily without making and following through with the decision you truly want to make.July 12, 2014 at 5:54 am #60676
Thanks for your suggestion . Its like I drag the whole thing . It’s my stupidity ,which I can’t forgive myself for . It’s involve my guru , whom I respect a lot . When I first ask for the permission he was like think about it actually it’s about changing my life style .then I felt so guilty for only thinking about me then I thought I should say sorry to him and ask for permission to stay at my parents but he refused he was willing to give me a year break ,as I couldn’t go back I disagreed so he got angry I know he has right to .its been month now I realize I was so wrong to go to him as I couldn’t stay on my current life style I haven’t change yet and I promised him I won’t which I can’t keep for sure I m really regretting for changing my decision .in our religious not listening to your guru is a very big sin .i realized that I was asking forgiveness , and I didn’t listen to him . If only I haven’t been to him second time. I was unhappy before now I m unhappy as well as miserable . What do you think I shoul do ? Please giver advice .i m so traumatized I couldn’t function properly n octant stop myself from dwelling . I m always asking why am I so stupid ? It’s been my mantra for the last month . I m having trouble sleeping ,studying n I have lost weight . Seeing me like this my parents they are worried . God help me . My guru will never forgive megod how can I be so stupid .July 12, 2014 at 6:08 am #60678
I am sorry Lissy for answering a question, which has been directed to you.
Hi Rewa @rewa
Are you ok ? I am not able to understand what sort of religion or guru you are following that you are so distressed. Are you sure you are not part of some cult or something, which is based on fear or guilt ?
Hey, if you had been true to yourself in the time that you stayed as a nun for the last 18 years, you wouldn’t be in this situation. Stop making a mockery out of yourself, your religion, guru and parents. You are not helping anyone.
If a guru is instilling this much fear in you instead of guiding you towards happiness, you are hanging out with the wrong entity and perhaps, this is where your higher self has kicked in and trying to move you out of this cult.
Guru is someone who removes the darkness in your life and fills the void with light and happiness. Guru is someone who lets you be YOU in all circumstances and allows you to blossom in your own time. When you are in the vicinity of a true guru, there is no compulsion, no restrictions or fear based teachings. You only feel love, forgiveness and true bliss. You have complete freedom to be whom you want to be. Does your guru make you feel this way ?
WAKE UP and stop wasting your precious energy. It aint helping you or anyone.
Sending you loads of positive energy and hope you will listen to your higher self for once and move forward in your life.
JasmineJuly 12, 2014 at 7:27 am #60687
Thanks a lot . For the last 18 yrs I have followed everything properly. I never done anything wrong wrong , yes I was unhappy but I never done anything wrong . But now ever since I took the decision I felt guilty because he asked me to think about my parents and all that why I changed it . Now everything is so wrong I m not happy I haven’t thought things will turn out this way . God now I know why I wasn’t listening to him was deep down I just can’t stay as nun . I want to moved on but it’s so hard, I never feel so helpless . Even I leave nun life , my guru will know as we live in same society . I feel sick that if I leave then what’s he gonna think about me cause even though I don’t want to live as nun , I will always respect him cause I m only leaving my nun life I’m not abandoning my dharma . Do you think after all this drama that I have created , now I want to leave . Am I a bad personJuly 12, 2014 at 7:40 am #60689
My Dear Nun Friend Rewa
Hey, you may feel that you have done all the right things in the last 18 years but have you ? Ask yourself this question again and please answer it honestly. Answer it like how a child would.
If you are unhappy, you generate negativity and can you imagine how much negativity you have created over the last 18 years ? How can anyone be happy with 18 years worth of BS ? How can you truly say that you have followed everything properly ?
First principle of any religion is to generate love and positivity. Love for self. Love for others. Respect for self. Respect for others. Where is your love and respect for yourself ? You can only respect someone else when you offer respect to yourself first.
I am sorry but you may have lived your life as a nun but you have not understood the meaning of Dharma. Guru never judges and if you are beating yourself for the fact that what would your guru think if you leave the monastery, then you need to do more work on self lady !!! Living in a monastery, having a guru etc doesn’t equal happiness or self realisation in life. You need to feel it too.
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON and NO SO-CALLED GURU IN THIS WORLD CAN DO ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU unless you let them do it. Our karmas are ours to do and others are theirs to do. Our fruits are ours to bear and others are theirs to bear. We do not share our karmas with anyone. Raise your consciousness and you will know this for yourself.
Life is meant to be a joy and you are sucking the joy out of your own life by going round and round in circles. WHY ? Who is asking you or driving you to do that ? Have some faith in your self and in your inner god. We are all Buddhas already but some of us have not realised it as yet.
Please be gentle with yourself; learn to smile; go and enjoy your life !!!!! You are worth it.
JasmineJuly 12, 2014 at 9:54 am #60718
Thinking after what you have posted, yes I have accumulated so many negative thoughts and I don’t have self respect for myself. I know dharma is all about kind heart and loving nature but living in a same place with same people make me frustrated . But I have learn a lesson that I should always be true to myself n never sell my self short. Sometime I feel like I should go back to monastery n say sorry to my guru again but I know what’s gonna happen after that I m gonne be frustrated . God the more I think about this incident ,it makes me feel like a loser . Now I know what every one thinks about me . God why am I so stupid . In this incident I feel worse on my stupidity . How can I be so naive to think that every thing will be alright . Can you give me some suggestion on letting go
Of mistakes and moving forward . I just wish it all goes awAy soon . Please help meJuly 12, 2014 at 10:12 am #60721
You are NOT stupid. Why are you going round and round in circles ? Who is telling you that you are stupid or wrong ? It is your mind, right ?
Tell your mind to bugger off. Give it some tasks so that it doesn’t continue to create havoc in your life. Go for walks; do some charity like make a meal for the homeless or an orphan; listen to nice music; care for your parents with deep devotion; have a hot shower; offer gratitude or thanks for everything that is going well in your life etc. You get the drift ?
You don’t have to go and say sorry to anyone. If you can offer apologies in your meditation with an open heart to everyone that you have wronged, you will feel better. Forgive yourself first as it will help in forgiving others who have wronged you.
Letting go will happen slowly. Start with giving yourself more love and respect. Stop pitying yourself. No one has the time to pity you so don’t waste your time doing that either.
I doubt we can attain self-realisation without attaining worldly goals of basic survival first. So go and create some magic in your life 🙂
This will be my last post to you. Help is within you and not outside. Loads of positivity coming your way.
JasmineJuly 12, 2014 at 10:28 am #60722
Thanks jasmine for your advice I will try my best to move on with my life . I have no one to talk to so I feel so lonely . I was wondering if I get in touch with you in some way like email I really need friend cause I don’t have one. My mail I’d is email@example.com please keep in touch.its feel little bit relax if I have some one to open up .thanx once again