When you say you love me...

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This topic has 23 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.

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April 7, 2018 at 6:59 pm #201243

Airene
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When you say you love me, what do you mean?

38. I know you are going through a difficult time with something and I want you to know I’m there for you.

39. I’m grateful you are in my life.

40. You are sexy hot and I am so happy when you are with me.

41. I did something that hurt you and I want you to forgive me.

42. You did something that made my life easier, made me smile or made me less sad.

43. You are not in my life, but I want you to be in my life.

44. I need to hear you say to me “I love you” and mean it, so I tell you I love you.

45. I want you to be safe, happy, and at peace.

46. I’ve known you so long and we have a history full of good and bad, so the love is there.

47. I’m disappointed, mad, upset about something you did, but I choose to forgive and love you anyway.

April 8, 2018 at 5:56 am #201317

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Leocube:

Thank you for your post on this old, old thread of mine.

#31: “I’ve been saying ‘I love you’ for 75 years but only now when I’m on my death bed do I truly understand what it means”- I wonder, if I was his wife, if I would bother asking him what it meant to him during those 75 years and what it means now.

Better have asked early on: what do you mean when you say “I love you”?

With so many possible meaning, better indeed ask the one saying these words: what do you mean by these words? I would ask because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t know.

Dear Airene:

Thank you for your post. I particularly like # 45: “I want you to be safe, happy, and at peace”- very much so.

# 44, “I need to hear you say to me “I love you” and mean it, so I tell you I love you.” – is that dishonestly manipulative in your mind? What if the person says I love you for that purpose repeatedly, often, how would you react?

anita

April 8, 2018 at 9:44 pm #201409

Leocube
Participant

@anita When they said “I love you”, they meant it. That phrase still means the same thing now that it did back then, only now do they realize that it just doesn’t matter, because they finally realize that their love was insignificant in the grand scheme of things. What they thought was “love”, was only the means to their own self-interest.

April 9, 2018 at 5:40 am #201429

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Leocube:

I wonder what love means to you, in your personal life and in that “grand scheme of things” that you mentioned.

anita

April 9, 2018 at 6:10 am #201431

Eliana
Participant

Did not submit properly..

April 10, 2018 at 2:56 pm #201681
Jaclyn
Participant
48: I want love from myself but don’t yet understand how to give myself love, so I love you
- This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Jaclyn.
April 11, 2018 at 7:25 am #201771

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Jaclyn:

I relate to your #48 very much. I wish you elaborated on this #48. If you would like, that is.

anita

April 11, 2018 at 2:46 pm #201871

Jaclyn
Participant

Anita,

I think our culture has very much conditioned us to look for love outside of ourselves in order to feel whole and fulfilled. But often times if we think that way and are still unsatisfied, it’s because we are looking to others to complete us and give us the validation that we want without considering that we are whole and valid already.

April 12, 2018 at 3:04 am #201941

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Jaclyn:

Thank you for your answer. I think we always need someone in our lives, at least one person, because we are social animals and a person, isolated cannot possibly be “whole and fulfilled” on an ongoing basis. I think it is true in any culture, anywhere on the face of the earth. To be whole and fulfilled it takes quality, honest, loving interactions with at least one other person.

On the other hand, to be desperate for another person, to hurt ourselves for the purpose of being with another, to hurt or minimize ourselves for that purpose, that of course, leads nowhere close to whole-and-fulfilled.

When I first saw your #48 I related to it this way: I felt intense empathy for another person, for example, because I felt pain myself. I wasn’t able to direct my empathy toward myself not believing my pain was valid, or justified, so I directed my empathy toward another person.

anita
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