April 7, 2018 at 6:59 pm #201243AireneParticipant
When you say you love me, what do you mean?
38. I know you are going through a difficult time with something and I want you to know I’m there for you.
39. I’m grateful you are in my life.
40. You are sexy hot and I am so happy when you are with me.
41. I did something that hurt you and I want you to forgive me.
42. You did something that made my life easier, made me smile or made me less sad.
43. You are not in my life, but I want you to be in my life.
44. I need to hear you say to me “I love you” and mean it, so I tell you I love you.
45. I want you to be safe, happy, and at peace.
46. I’ve known you so long and we have a history full of good and bad, so the love is there.
47. I’m disappointed, mad, upset about something you did, but I choose to forgive and love you anyway.April 8, 2018 at 5:56 am #201317
Thank you for your post on this old, old thread of mine.
#31: “I’ve been saying ‘I love you’ for 75 years but only now when I’m on my death bed do I truly understand what it means”- I wonder, if I was his wife, if I would bother asking him what it meant to him during those 75 years and what it means now.
Better have asked early on: what do you mean when you say “I love you”?
With so many possible meaning, better indeed ask the one saying these words: what do you mean by these words? I would ask because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t know.
Thank you for your post. I particularly like # 45: “I want you to be safe, happy, and at peace”- very much so.
# 44, “I need to hear you say to me “I love you” and mean it, so I tell you I love you.” – is that dishonestly manipulative in your mind? What if the person says I love you for that purpose repeatedly, often, how would you react?
anitaApril 8, 2018 at 9:44 pm #201409LeocubeParticipant
@anita When they said “I love you”, they meant it. That phrase still means the same thing now that it did back then, only now do they realize that it just doesn’t matter, because they finally realize that their love was insignificant in the grand scheme of things. What they thought was “love”, was only the means to their own self-interest.April 9, 2018 at 5:40 am #201429
I wonder what love means to you, in your personal life and in that “grand scheme of things” that you mentioned.
anitaApril 9, 2018 at 6:10 am #201431ElianaParticipant
Did not submit properly..April 10, 2018 at 2:56 pm #201681JaclynParticipant
48: I want love from myself but don’t yet understand how to give myself love, so I love you
April 11, 2018 at 7:25 am #201771
- This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Jaclyn.
I relate to your #48 very much. I wish you elaborated on this #48. If you would like, that is.
anitaApril 11, 2018 at 2:46 pm #201871JaclynParticipant
I think our culture has very much conditioned us to look for love outside of ourselves in order to feel whole and fulfilled. But often times if we think that way and are still unsatisfied, it’s because we are looking to others to complete us and give us the validation that we want without considering that we are whole and valid already.April 12, 2018 at 3:04 am #201941
Thank you for your answer. I think we always need someone in our lives, at least one person, because we are social animals and a person, isolated cannot possibly be “whole and fulfilled” on an ongoing basis. I think it is true in any culture, anywhere on the face of the earth. To be whole and fulfilled it takes quality, honest, loving interactions with at least one other person.
On the other hand, to be desperate for another person, to hurt ourselves for the purpose of being with another, to hurt or minimize ourselves for that purpose, that of course, leads nowhere close to whole-and-fulfilled.
When I first saw your #48 I related to it this way: I felt intense empathy for another person, for example, because I felt pain myself. I wasn’t able to direct my empathy toward myself not believing my pain was valid, or justified, so I directed my empathy toward another person.