Hi Amanda,

I don’t try to go into combat with it 🙂 It’ll just suck you in and beat you up. Instead, I’ll just nod, smile and let go of those thoughts. To try to fight them would be to spend more time obsessing over them. It’s easier to just not get into it and focus on something more interesting.

There are exceptions though. When something hurts me and I react to the pain; the ego is my shield. Then it’s more difficult to let go and I get preoccupied by the attempts to find ways to not get hurt again. When I’m not hurting though, it’s easier to understand that all the “great ideas” that the ego has about what I should have, be, own…aren’t that great. They are just distractions from something much more precious.

The ego does have a purpose, which is to shield you, but it’s just not very good at it 🙂 No amount of success in a career, for example, will shield you from possible harm or pain. Nothing can, but that’s OK. It is OK to get hurt sometimes. It will pass just like everything else. So the better you get at dealing with fear, pain, uncertainty, the less you have to deal with the ego. No point in fighting it, but rather find ways to make it obsolete 🙂

Thanks The Ruminant.

Hoi Hoi Inky…you are an introvert ? Your advices are always so practical, which makes me doubt that you are an introvert. Where do you get so much experience from ? Meditation alone cant do that, can it ?

Hi Amanda

Ditching the ego, eh ? What is ego ? Everyone will give you their own definition of what is ego depending on their level of consciousness. It is the most commonly used and abused term by us all, he he.

I will share my perspective.

Ego = false image of self. So how do you ditch the ego ? It is the same as ditching the false image of self. How do you find the real image of self ? By answering the question – WHO AM I ? Where have I come from and Why ? Do you have the answers to these questions ? Perhaps not as yet…you sound like a young soul. Frankly speaking, to find the answer to your WHO AM I question, you will need a spiritual teacher and I doubt there is anyone that evolved on this site to help you with that quest 🙂

Getting to the crux of the matter, which follows your title – what others think of me, what I look like and my success etc – the answer simply lies in understanding that your real competition is self and not others. No one in this world can compete with you even if they or you wanted them to. You may ask why ? Science confirms that each one of us is as unique as it gets. No finger prints are same. No 2 siblings have the same conditioning etc. When everyone is unique and special, who are you really competing with ?

Look, we all go through these comparisons and insecurities early on in our lives. It is part of growing up so that we can learn the valuable life lessons, grow from it and expand further. Please be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. When the time is right, you will find all the right help for the right reasons.

Someone had asked a similar flavoured question on another thread few days back. If you wish you can look it up on: http://tinybuddha.com/topic/i-feel-like-i-always-fail/

Until then, enjoy and savour every moment for what it is worth. You are awesome as you are. So is Inky and so is The Ruminant.

Blessings,

Jasmine

LOLOL!!

But it’s true!!

IRL, this is me:

I can’t stand “Tea Talk” i.e. “How are you? What do you do? Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it? Who are your child’s teachers?” AACK!

Then people say, “I wish you’d talk more. I know you’re shy, but..” And I’m all, *tongue-tied!* “Um… the weather… (???)”

Then I’ll say something like, “I’m a Tarot card reader.. College is a bill of goods.. What do you think of Perma Culture? ..It’s all a conspiracy.” Suddenly.

Or I show up overdressed or underdressed. Mostly underdressed.

Or I raise hell in my own way. (Stories, lots of stories. :D)

So I hang out with other Republican New Age people. Which is in itself a paradox!

Help me. 😀

Hi Amanda 🙂
20 years of age, and recently i just got away from the ego again! Ego comes in so many forms, relationship, friendship, society etc…… the list goes on…. and i got out of the ego in relationship and was recently facing the ego of society, which i believe is what you going through at the moment. We will come across many ego to face, and life is all problem solving. Just think positive and knowing who you are.
How i coped with it?
I deactivated my Facebook, i stop going out for 2 months only see friends who i love and can have fun with, who will only lift me up.
I spend my time alone more and more, and solitude is a cure for ego.
By spending time alone, you are recognising that you are not in any body else’s world but your own. You creating a world that no one can enter but you!
Be alone will open doors to your soul, let you meet your inner self and you will slowly recognising who you are and you will fall in love with yourself.
When you are with other people, constantly seeing them, hanging out with them, talking to them and whatever else, you are subconsciously adapting their habits, you starting to think like them, talk like them, act like them… you even pick up on their insecurities.
To be original, to be YOURSELF. I suggest you to spend a little time alone, create time for yourself, get to know yourself, write down what you have learn, how you have come so far, what is good about you…and enjoy being YOU.
No one is as original as you.
Like Inky said, meditation is a great way, but if you don’t meditate (cause I’m a sucker at it :D) just spend time in nature, draw, sing, cook, dance, write… be a kid again, spend time with nobody but yourself.
I hope my experience could help you, it’s not easy but it’s not hard. I was thinking and thinking so much that i was like, ok i need to snap out of it, i need to think positive i need to remember my purpose of being here on earth and little things like that don’t bother me, people are suffering because of hunger out there and i am here stressing about my little insecurities.
Like who caresss… they can judge and think about us all they wants, at the end of the day.
We are the one who creating our own life and they are no one but the people outside our walls.
Much love.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Luna.