Home→Forums→Relationships→Why do we always want what we can't have
- This topic has 52 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by Anonymous.
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November 19, 2014 at 7:42 am #68120jeenaParticipant
Hi Steve
You’re right! I shouldn’t worry about the pace. It’s just hard not knowing where I stand exactly. I keep getting mixed signals and it’s driving me insane! haha I’m sorry that you’re feeling down about he whole online dating scene. I used to be there myself and I know that feeling too. I did get a lot of messages but not from the one’s I wanted. It was frustrating, so I just stopped logging in. Perhaps, that is what those other women did too-gave up? Maybe they are not intentionally ignoring you. I probably should just delete my account so other guys don’t feel the way you do about it. (just curious-what part of the world are you in?)
November 19, 2014 at 5:36 pm #68147AnonymousInactiveHi Jeena,
I tried to move a little faster than the woman I was interested in wanted to. I found the worst thing about it was wondering where I stood with her. I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It’s stress you don’t need. By the way, I’m in Canada.
November 21, 2014 at 11:27 am #68213jeenaParticipantYes, I’m just going to stop altogether and just be friendly. I don’t like feeling like this. It is the worst feeling ever.
Oh Canada? A beautiful country. Great skiing! I’m in the States myself 🙂
November 23, 2014 at 1:04 pm #68282AnonymousInactiveHi Jeena,
I know how you feel about wondering where you stand. It is a uncomfortable feeling. While the world isn’t black or white, some people try too hard to make it grey, when it doesn’t have to be. It would be nice if your friend let you know where he stood with you. I feel for you on this one and I hope everything works out for you. 🙂
You are right, Canada is beautiful. The skiing isn’t great where I live though. It’s pretty flat and any run would last about 3-5 seconds haha.
December 29, 2014 at 7:58 am #69922girlinwondermentParticipantHI Steve, I was just reading through all these posts and you seem to dish out pretty good advice. First of, wondering how its going with your dating life. You haven’t been on in a while, so I am guessing you’re A) dating someone happily or B) taking some time off during the holidays.
I just wanted to say from a woman’s perspective – if you felt (or if you still feel) attracted to this woman (woman #1 that you felt so good with), and still have her in your mind…maybe shoot her a text (I think its been like 6 weeks?) and see how she is doing. Maybe she just needed some time to sort herself out.
I, personally, have broken up with some guys that I didn’t feel “right” about – and they either came back around, or asked me to help them understand why I was breaking it off…and it actually moved the relationship forward. I ended up dating one of them for a year and a half and we were really in “belly love” – except at the end – well it ended badly bc he had some issues with my 7 year old – and I started to feel bad in the relationship – so I ended it.
I say – if you haven’t – shoot that woman a text and see what happens. You never know..if she’s still in your head its for a reason.
December 29, 2014 at 2:58 pm #69958AnonymousInactiveHi girlinwonderment,
I have posted since I posted here and my other post related directly to how frustrating of a time that I am having with online dating. I cancelled my subscription and took my profile down for now. It was just getting annoying putting up with rejection. Regarding the woman that I still think about sometimes, I don’t think anything will happen there. I actually sent her a short text around Halloween just to say that I hope her and her little girl have fun. She never responded.
I think that I probably liked her more than she liked me, and I don’t want to be sending her texts and making myself look like a stalker. I’m trying to focus on other things right now but there was something about her that made me think of her more than other women I met. She was the type of girl I wish I had met years ago. I just don’t think it would be worth it to message her.
December 29, 2014 at 3:43 pm #69967girlinwondermentParticipantHi Steve…Ahh…well it sounds like you already tried my method 🙂 Yeah – honestly – her heart was probably stuck on some other dude.
yeah online dating sucks. I myself don’t do it. (I think we are around the same age I’m in my late 30s) I tried a couple of times for like a week in the last 4 years (in between my two long term boyfriends). I just wasn’t digging it. Too much work and too many lies. If I saw another 50 year old posing as a 40 year old I was going to scream.I’ve become a little better at the dating thing (its daunting out of a divorce). So not entirely lost…but the problem is that all relationships start differently. I guess. For instance…my last two bf I’ve had after my divorce. Bang! it worked from the get go. This guy I’m going out with….eh…I’m not sure. And honestly – I think we are probably just feeling like “maybe its fizzling?” who knows…
Would you be so kind to read my post (confused about guy I’m dating) and give me some sound Steve from Canada advice?
I haven’t pulled the plug yet but it’s tick tick tocking.
Meet someone at the gym – or out at a jazz place – or at a 5K run – or at the grocery store. Trust me – we are out there. Waiting for a cool ass dude like you.
pss – if I told you where I am (which I can’t for anonymous reasons and just in case my dude is by chance reading this post) you’d be so jealous. Cold cold Canada! I lived there as a little girl.
December 29, 2014 at 6:32 pm #69971AnonymousInactiveHi girlinwonderment,
Man, you need a shorter username lol. I don’t think that her heart was stuck on another guy. She had a fiancé who cheated on her the entire time they were together. After a year of being alone, she had a couple of one and done coffee dates, then she saw me for the longest after that. About 4 months. I don’t know if she wasn’t ready yet or that she was still getting over the breakup. I wasn’t ready to be with someone a year after my breakup. Also, she has a two year old girl with some health issues. Maybe she had a lot on her mind. Either way, I cared about her and would have liked to be with her more. I don’t believe that will happen.
I’ll read your post and see if there is anything I can say to you about it. Sometimes, it’s difficult to say something about a person’s life because ultimately, they will have to be the one that will chose what they want.
And yes, I probably would be jealous of where you are because it’s -24 Celsius but feels like -35 with the wind chill. Cold, but not cool haha -
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