I initiated conversations before because of the reason to know what he is thinking about.  But it was pointless. I have no clue . I didn’t ask him directly about explaining me his feelings and he didn’t initiate a topic on this too.

We just talked about our businesses and how we are doing and then the conversation stopped.

Dear Anita,

Yes, that’s him.

Last year after some time when I posted my thread I did  eventually go abroad.  I managed to distract myself a little  – I’ve  met other people, build new relationships. But never suceeded to forget him. I still love him.
But it was hard, because I didn’t want to start communicating with him, because, as I wrote before, “he wanted to have everything or nothing, now or never ” . So I forced myself to do everything possible to forget him. I’ve read all possible articles about developing independent emotions and state of mind after the break up. I’ve read books, I tried meditating, writing a journal. I’ve seen all kind of media about this topic. I’ve talked to many people, I’ve got a lot of advice.

It has brought a result. I’ve grown as a personality, I look at relationships in another way. I am more careful and at the same time more open.  I know what I want.
But I just can’t stop loving him. I need to think about him all the time. The weird part is , that these thought are  abstract,without any particular content.  Like, he is held in the deepest parts of my consciousness. And so he is just always on my mind.

I actually didn’t want to write him. I had an battle going on in my mind. I didn’t write him, till I got to know from other people, that he has huge problems in his family. And when things got really terrible , i just couldn’t not write him. Because he was not only an object of my past love , but a person , about whom i cared. So I wrote him. It happened few times. But he didn’t write me since last year first. Only once, after 2 months of the break up…

So now. Why I want to write him now is again, because I care and I am concerned about his situation.  The thing that stops me from doing that is that I dont want to give another hope as for him and for me too. Because I am still far away.

It would be perfect If we could throw away all the prejudice , and just talk as friends. Even If he is still for me more than a just friend.

I believe, that its not right to erase somebody compeletely out of your mind. Though I tried to do it, I didn’t succeed.  I can’t go against my nature.

No , he didn’t .

The thing was , that he gave me his card , where he wanted to transfer the money to.

But after we the break up he didn’t mention anything about it . So I called him shortly before I needed to fly away and asked what should I do with this card. He asked me whether I needed this money , I said “no”. And he told me “ ok then, you can destroy it” . . .

Well. So I did.

After this I didn’t write him , though he kept writing me. because I just was confused by his answer. It seemed like he just didn’t care about that situation.

Few days after he send me a message , where he asked me , whether I already destroyed the card.

Then I told him , that I did. After this we didn’t talked till I wrote him later, telling him , that i hope he is doing fine…

• This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by tidalwave.

Dear Anita,

I was actually happy to help him and didn’t have any problems with giving him the money. But his I didn’t understand his attitude. My parents, when they found out that we were meeting, asked me right away, whether i gave him money. And I said the truth, because i was thinking, that maybe i am tricked here. Lack of trust. “We’ve only met and he is borrowing money?! ”

I guess it depends on how you would define a relationship. Frequently it is meant as a long-lasting boyfriend-girlfriend-labelled thing.

In our case it was a mutual connection, living, breathing, not only virtual, though it has all started online.

If I understand you right, you say, a realtionship has a place, when two individuals have a history together. A living history, that you can observe, touch. By that means not virtual or illusionary.

And I would say, that we did have a relationship.  A connection between us, a history, that we both share.

But we’ve seen each other only 3 times is it not a relationship anymore? (it was actually 3, if it changes something)

It was actually a really unusual one. In these 3 days we’ve tried to talk about everything, to open up as much as possible. We spent the whole day together. And we just knew, that it was a beginning of a relationship, because we felt so in love. It didn’t need an verbal expression or explanation. We just were.

After writing all of this, i would say that it was a beginning of a new relationship. But it could’t go deeper, because I went away.

Dear Anita

I knew that he had feelings for me since our last messages. He talked about personal stuff, his problems, which u usually don’t tell a friend.  He showed his vulnerability , though i didn’t understand why, because we barely knew each other.Eventually i started to develop this trust and sympathy to him. I liked our communication, his personality . We have a lot in common, so it was not hard to fall in love. But  I understand the danger of texting without meeting in real life. I had few experiences in past, when i’ve built a friendship online and then when i met the person couldn’t be open. It was back when I was a teen. I lost one of my best friends this way. So since then i always stayed away from building relationships online. But he felt a little different and important, so i just didn’t want to end our communication, because it was the only way we could actually communicate.

So when we met it became obvious to me that he likes me because everything got quickly in a shape of a date  – we both shared sympathy and were attracted to each other . I can make this conclusions looking at his behavior –  how he looked at me , what he said. I liked his actions because I liked him. Kisses and hugs came after.

I can tell a 100 percent what other person thinks and how he feels. The first time he said that ´he loves me´ was when we were spending our 2 date together. Next time he said that after we broke up. Because I did this online too. We didn’t break up in person, what i regret. My parents didn’t let me meet him , though i wanted to meet him . Our break up was so confusing and ugly.  Till now i feel guilty about acting this way , especially cause it was my parents wish, so to say.