Home→Forums→Relationships→YOU DON'T NEED CLOSURE
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July 3, 2014 at 10:30 pm #60182AnonymousInactive
Hi, @lissy123. The lack of explanation is a common reality in this kind of situation. I’m very cause-and-effect oriented and therefore need the relational checking account balanced to understand where I sit and whether or not the relationship is progressing. I’d been dating a girl for a couple months a little earlier this year and she was entirely incapable of explaining her motives on actions, which inevitably caused in me reactions, which consequently caused her to counter-react and induce argumentation. The fights might have eventuated very differently but at their core was the same spark – a lack of explanation. I brought up a similar contention to yours on another topic (http://tinybuddha.com/topic/help-im-living-in-limbo-during-separation/) and one poster enlightened me with this quite basic revelation:
‘The most valuable thing I learned from a counselor was that if you are in a relationship with someone, and you tell them what you need and what you want (reasonable requests, of course) and they do not give it to you, it is because they do not want to. If that person is of normal intelligence, functions in the day to day world, their reluctance or inability to do something is not because they do not understand or you didn’t explain it right. They just don’t want to do it. It’s the simplest thing in the world, and the hardest to accept.’
Like you, I always dwell on a relationship’s past as if it is going to give me valuable clues about its future. I don’t hold grudges but I do ‘remember’ things that people have done and find it hard to not go into unrelated arguments completely and utterly bias-free and independent of those memories. I know I brought up closure that pertains to breakups but the same line of thought lies also with during-relationship closure, which is obviously a little harder to regulate. The freedom of breakup closure is that it’s over and it’s out of your control, meaning you can move on without getting tied up on something that’s no longer present. Whereas during-relationship closure like yours is immeasurably more complex because the relationship is still alive and growing. When people can’t be held accountable for reasoning away their role in the conflict, especially when it hurts their partner, I’ve found they are either (a) behaviourally impaired from doing so (extrovert vs introvert mentality etc.) or, most likely, (b) they have no desire to do so. If he wants to be in a relationship with you then he needs to understand that one of his compromises for you is trying to communicate more. In the same way, one of yours for him might be to try be a little less over-analytical or sensitive of his actions when you know, and have accepted, that that’s ‘just him being him’. Apology does not negate an explanation, an apology (at least in your case) is him just addressing the point you have taken issue with and attempting to make it cease to exist in the fastest, easiest way possible. With an explanation, you get both it and the apology as one. In any case, my father was exactly like this. He would explode over trivialities and then return later with saccharine apologies that never contained explanations – just blanket statements of remorse. I hope you can work through this. But the simple fact that you’re citing issues as far back as 3 years makes communication now an imperative if you’re both to make the relationship work. I’d appreciate if you keep us updated on your progress!
July 3, 2014 at 10:31 pm #60184AnonymousInactiveHi, @paddington. Very good points – points I intentionally blurred in my post since I was writing from a partially negative (jaded, frustrated, lonely) perspective to catch others with similar feelings. Irrespective, I always appreciate other views. It’s true and should be refreshing to succumb to the knowledge that with each failed relationship we get irrevocably closer to being ready for better, more appropriate ones. It’s a simple yet hard to accept fact that humans are psychologically different and living under the expectation that they can change and, worse, will change should be interred immediately. Yes, my ‘interpretation’ of maturity and rationality was based on my own ideas of what such behaviour constitutes. To an extent, I’m right in seeing and acting on differences like this but I should try not to wholly compare her understanding of maturity with my own, even in the greater scheme of socially accepted mores and stereotypes handed down over time. I acknowledge it should be beneficial for me to see so much optimism in taking note of the simple fact of ‘mismatching’ but I guess I’m still holding on to the idea that regardless of such differences, people should still be able to work through things and, most importantly, ‘want’ to work through things. I have a big problem, which I may not have inferred in this topic, with expecting people will change. It hurts both me and the other person involved because I can’t seem to reconcile this until after my partner has proved their commitment to me in some way or another. Just like with @Porterman’s circumstances, I feel your ascription as the ‘dumper’ is too a technicality because it is so obvious based on the basic sincerity of your post that he unashamedly refused his contributing role in the relationship. What additionally struck me was that he is a sociable person and that this precluded outsiders from commiserating with your relational issues, especially those that might revolve around him not being open and communicative to someone. This too goes back to what I referred to @Porterman: it’s so easy for society to affix blame to the final catalysing factor without even a slight glance at the preponderance of ‘small’ contributing factors that build up over time to in fact cause said catalyst. I will admit that whilst your admission of dumping runs counter to the main driving points of my original post, I do sympathise with your efforts, as well as your will to finalise something that had, as you intimate, died a while ago. Dissimilar to my case is that he was ‘given’ what I see as reasonable cues that might trigger him to action or even reaction but instead has cemented him more rigidly to inaction. Admittedly, he acted like I did when I was dumped – expecting reinstatement – but I was given no forewarning or chance for recourse as he appears to have been given repeatedly. Thank you for reinforcing more eloquently my original message:
‘staying in a relationship which hurts you, or seeking closure for why it has ended, are both energy-sapping and emotionally-draining activities which do not move you forward. Accept the […] bottom-line that your values, personalities and needs were not in sync and too far out of sync for the better parts of your relationship to offset this. Acceptance will not pull you back, it will bring you to the here and now of your life. The end of an [out-of-sync] relationship frees us to find that person who will be our great match. I am sure that my boyfriend will find the [woman] who will be his, and I will find the man who will be mine. This is what makes me happy inside.’
It appears you registered just to comment on this post. I did the same thing half a year ago when I was going through my breakup. I really hope you can stay a little while longer and continue sharing some of your insightful and startlingly wise experiences with me and the rest of the community.
July 3, 2014 at 10:32 pm #60185AnonymousInactiveHi, @requin. I’ve brung her up before but the girl I was dating for a couple of months – well, not so much dating as getting to know more intensely than one otherwise would – did the same thing as your ex. I challenged her for reasons, saying something along the lines of ‘there’s always a scoreboard, whether conscious or not’, and all I got was, ‘I guess you caught me in a vulnerable moment and I wanted to be close with someone and now I realise I don’t want anything like that and I don’t really have the time anyway’. When I couldn’t entirely accept this, I started disclosing my own likely assumptions on why it wasn’t working, all of which she was only too eager to tick as effects. I can’t lie though, I knew it was coming, I got to the point where I was completely and utterly gritting my teeth to impress this girl when no one should ever have to try and be someone they’re not. She later told me, when I brought up some of the things she did that reassured her 100% interest in me, that the whole time she was ‘still making up [her] mind’. It’s funny to write these recent sentiments of ‘needing closure’ on a topic I actually made called ‘YOU DON’T NEED CLOSURE’. I guess it’s an ongoing struggle. What a pitiful demise to something that started so exhilaratingly and not at all ambivalently. Just like you stated, when all was said and done, my closure from this specific girl came in the form of extremely vague answers and blatant skirting techniques. I even wonder, like you, if she even really knew. I’m so glad you brought up the avoidance issues and typified that as a personality because I feel some of what you described of your partner is directly reflective of this girl. Although I would definitely hasten you to not revise the past in a way that might shed hopeful light on a future that can now never happen. It’s exactly the same as closure; the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ do nothing but stultify our processing of the relationship and prevent us from accepting that, regardless of what happened, it’s now over. Obviously, as I say this I’m overcome by a myriad of the same questions – questions that turn to regrets, regrets that turn to frustrations, and frustrations that turn into feelings of anger, resentment, and ultimately loss. It’s really heartbreaking, I can understand this. I’m even more affected by your testimony given I’m half that guy’s age and have always confidently presumed that by that age we are so much more capable to love and care and appreciate others. I’m reminded of a song called ‘Desperado’ by Eagles, chiefly one line in particular that really shred me when I realised my (much earlier) commitment/trust/intimacy issues: ‘you better let somebody love you… before it’s too late’. I hope, for their sakes, that people like that can find someone because when I was over-critical I used to elect anything as reason to leave a relationship. It was immature. People like that need to understand that, unfortunately, sometimes it can get too late and so many times I hear regret and lamentation from the people who have realised they had a good thing much later after they actively got rid of it. Relationships are never infinite but neither is human life. We need to find what works for us ‘now’ and give our 100% to that, because anything less contradicts my idea of love. Lastly, the ‘doesn’t have time for a relationship’ is a damn poor excuse. I’m sorry, but at 50+ I think I would’ve had my whole life to mow the lawn, hang out with mates, and work overtime. His idea of being with you antagonises my principles because he’s listed ‘everyday’ occurrences as temporal preclusions to having a relationship. How sad. I’ve been regularly dating lately, more or less just to detach from the most recent women who I invested too much into. In my experience, there are those who will make time for you and those who won’t – why get preoccupied with asking ‘whys’ of the people who are disinterested when it’s already obvious they are not simpatico with our expecations. Just like your situation, I think if someone truly likes you they will make time to see you or if it’s a longer term relationship, then they will have had enough idea that this is something you need out of it and to compromise accordingly.
July 3, 2014 at 10:33 pm #60186AnonymousInactiveHi, @inthebliss. I’m sorry this has happened for you and, as with others on this topic, I feel I’m quickly learning this situation to be particularly common and not at all to do with condemning the ‘dumper’ for providing no closure. As with the other cases, it’s so unfair to have someone whom (a) you legitimately have feelings for and whom (b) you want to ameliorate and grow a relationship with act so angrily and selfishly. Downplaying your relational problems is a sign that he is either ashamed of how he has treated you in the past by alleviating the importance of the issues or, worse, he honestly cannot comprehend the issues themselves as ‘issues’. The fact that you ended it and he felt strung along the entire time makes me think he is simply too immature to be in any relationship that does not first and foremost revolve around him. Unfortunately, and as much as we want to, we cannot programme these people how to act, and if we could would we really want to be in love with someone we knew was conforming just for the sake of pleasing us? I doubt so. I’m sad it had to be this way but you should try to find hope, where possible, in the old albeit trite adage of their being ‘plenty more fish in the sea’. We get so focussed on one person and beating to their rhythm that when suddenly they beat out of time we need to go searching for whys in order to just continue living. There are so many other people out there more suited to us who we have not found yet because they too are in similarly underwhelming relationships wondering where we are. Logistically it’s an impossibility to find highly suitable people instantly because these things take time. I just wish this world, this generation would slow the fuck down so we can all have time for meaningful, thoughtful, and considerate human relations. Just an afterthought, but would you mind my asking candidly your ages so I can better process the situation? As with the previous posts, thank you so much for contributing to this topic because it’s really highlighted for me the role of the ‘good dumper’, so to speak. I didn’t know just how prevailing it was because I’ve never experienced it at all.
July 3, 2014 at 10:33 pm #60187AnonymousInactiveHi, @cookie1185. Firstly, I don’t think there is anything more emotionally, psychologically, and physically devastating than being betrayed by someone you loved unconditionally. I could walk away from my mother’s funeral less numb. I guess that’s because a funeral entices loss, sadness, and agony from an uncontrollable occurrence whereas betrayal, by definition, is premeditated. It’s chaos, sheer chaos, and I don’t envy anyone locked up in its throes, what’s more, I wouldn’t even wish it upon liable enemies. You are right. He made a very much conscious decision to take what were marital issues and trade them in for temporary release. Essentially he had sex a few times with a stranger and this was somehow supposed to make him feel better. Well, he’s lost a lot more on a really bad relational transaction, and he will continue to find more and more he’s lost as the days go by. He’s lost trust, intimacy, care, acceptance, and all the subtleties that go into constructing a 7-year relationship. He will not likely have gotten much, if anything, from this other person. In fact, having invested his frustrations and intimate details into her will leave him even more desolate when she inevitably disappears too. He’s withdrawn everything from his savings and thrown it at a dodgy investment. But he hasn’t just lost ‘money’, no, because he now owes ‘money’ to you and to his own conscience. The texted confirmation was purely abominable; I will never understand why people like this exist in the world because I am so coldly incapable of cheating on anyone. I guess that stems from my integrity and relational principles but I refuse to ever submit to that level of scum or subject others to it. It’s emotional rape and in many ways is more torturous than its physical counterpart. I feel for your situation. I feel for humanity. This stuff has always happened but it just feels as though it’s happening more and more and more. It’s depressing to say the least. Anyway, keep us updated on how you’re progressing in this and I hope you can find some calm in your days, however fleeting. You deserve better and are owed nothing. Any explanation or measure of closure he has tried to deliver should be treated in the context of his misdeeds.
July 4, 2014 at 11:26 am #60214intheblissParticipant@Blaice Well I am 29 (f) and he is 34 (m)…although sometimes it feels the other way around based on how we are conducting our lives at present. :-/ Thanks for your feedback/response. Some food for thought, for sure. Worth mentioning that since he saw me at our baby scan yesterday, I have had a few tentative messages which eventually transformed into a semi-attempt to apologise. Still blaming me as he ‘reacted badly’ (therefor it’s my fault – although the issue for me is that there was nothing to react to. He thinks he reacted badly to me being distant, forgetting that the reason I was distant was because he lashed out swearing at me and telling me to fuck off….)
So I will wait a bit longer before I respond. He wants to meet but I have requested space to try and minimise any more draining stress for this growing baby and me. My energy is gone.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by inthebliss.
July 5, 2014 at 6:38 am #60239sylvieParticipant@Blaice Your so right, this hasn’t been just dealing with a break up, it puts doubts in your mind, your heart and your soul about who you are as a person. So now my journey is to believe and trust in myself again He may have taken a year out of life, but every day I remind myself I will not let him take another. I will not give him that power. It’s a struggle, deep inside there’s a joy of life with myself that I am missing and that is what I am trying to find again, and appreciate all I have around me, all the support and love I’ve always had. I know that I will heal in time and when the time is right and I feel confident within myself will I be able to allow someone else into my life. This will not stop me from trusting another or giving myself 100 percent to someone else, as that would be unfair to me. The pain is less every day and Im realizing there is no right way to go through this, I do what I feel I need to do that day, happy then im’ happy , sad then i’m sad but never will I blame myself fro his actions and his neediness or insecurities. To be honest, I wouldn’t want him to contact me in any way as it would not help me move forward.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by sylvie.
July 5, 2014 at 5:39 pm #60257MichaelParticipantThank you @Blaice,
You appear to have great insight and compassion, so I will push my luck with another question-last summer the same thing happened, she said she wanted to find herself, though she didn’t use language she did this time to leave no doubt it was now over permanently. We got back together in September..but only for those few breaks in the academic year when she had a couple of days off and she wasn’t busy with work or school…I tried to make each opportunity quality time together, but here is the part I am questioning, but probably just looking for hope or closure…the summer is really the only time we had to spend any extended time together due to work and her classes-(she received an advanced degree two weeks after she ended our relationship). With this degree done there was nothing keeping us from spending all our free time together. Now suddenly when we would have the time it’s over. Coincidence? I was always the one pushing the more permanent relationship. There is a considerable age difference between us, but I never thought it was a factor for her. Both of us have been in more than our share of less than healthy relationships, and after finding what I thought was “The One” it is tough to stay positive. I think most of us here are probably much better at giving advice than following our own.July 8, 2014 at 7:40 am #60406lissyParticipant@blaice As you may know (or maybe you don’t) people that have had (or currently have) drug problems tend to (literally) disappear. For hours, days, weeks even. This has happened in our relationship…on various occasions, not recently since we got back together but in the past. One thing that stuck with me on the very first time I experienced this and as I was crying my eyes out and pretty much going into hysteria, were the words of my brother. He said to me: Wherever he is, is where he wants to be right now. God those words stick with me till this day. I don’t just apply those exact words to everything, but the message that he was trying to give me was that, whatever he was doing, he was doing because he wanted to do it, wherever he was at the moment, he was there because he wanted to be there. I didn’t understand that at first (since I was drowning in my own tears), but I later understood that this man had a mind of his own and made his own decisions, good or bad. It had nothing to do with me or with what I wanted or needed from him. It had to do with his own selfish being.
The next few times that he did this “disappearing act” of course those words from my brother flew right out the window, but I don’t think that I questioned the ‘why” is he doing this? I knew exactly why, it was because he wanted to. This of course, brought up more of the angry feeling out of me because I couldn’t understand why (again with the why), after me being (in my mind) such a great person to him, why out of nowhere could he put me through this? It was, as you said in your response to my post, simple. Because he did not want to be this good person (for that present moment). It’s this “truth” that I still struggle with today. I try to stop asking myself “why”? My oldest sister has also contributed her thoughts and told me that I don’t need closure. That I can give myself “my own” closure. Pick a reason out of a hat and that’s it. You’ve got your own closure. She told me :” If that’s not good enough for you, then you are going to make yourself hurt, and it would be your own fault this time”. It’s true! Why can’t we just take any reason and take it as our key to move on from the problem at hand? Why can’t we accept the “reason” given by those that hurt us and move on? I have the answer to that one. Because the reasons given are never EVER going to be good enough reason for the pain we have gone through. I have had to literally MAKE myself believe that “it is what it is”. As I write those words I laugh because I have always hated it when people say that! But I must say that it’s the only way I can stop my over analytical (as you mentioned) thoughts and just breathe, try to communicate to him the best way I can and have been doing, and only hope that he receives that as me trying to understand him and not trying to attack him (which will only lead to him NOT wanting to talk and just leave).
That’s what I have learned. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with this, and still have to deal with this everyday. But I do feel like it get’s easier. With places like Tiny Buddha and people like you that are willing to help me and help each other by sharing, advising, and just plain talking about our experiences helps immensely.
July 10, 2014 at 3:34 pm #60560MichaelParticipantHi @Blaise and @Gladys and everyone..
I had posted here a few days ago and found the advice very helpful, especially the intelligent words from Blaise. I cannot fathom the inner strength that Gladys has to deal with the issue as directly as she does.
An update on my situation: Yesterday, in a low blood sugar induced (seriously) moment I sent her what I thought was a fairly benign text, simply “what happened to us?”.
I had not texted her in the two months since she suddenly ended the relationship, at the time simply stating her feelings had changed. She was very blunt and didn’t hold back at the time, and she didn’t respond to my next several texts. I was, and still am, obviously devastated.I thought, or hoped, that maybe she was just frightened by what she may have perceived as a change in her independence by her life changing-she just received her MBA, we had started looking at rings…until yesterday.
She responded to my text, but not in the way I wanted or even expected. She was surgical, brutally honest. She said our three years together was a mistake, and that she had nothing but unhappy memories from our time together. She said she had never been happy in our relationship, and there was no chance for any kind of reconciliation, and didn’t want any contact from me ever again (as we work in the same place, passing in the hallway is inevitable).
So now more than my pain of losing her, I have to accept that I never made her happy during our time together. I was worried that the age difference between us might have been a factor (I am considerably older) , but that never appeared to bother her. She has everything going for her-beautiful, brilliant, and witty. I honestly think she hurt me more yesterday than when she left, maybe its because I now know and have to accept there is no hope, but more so that I could give her the happiness she so deserves. Thanks everyone.
July 10, 2014 at 11:28 pm #60610GladysParticipantHello @Michael!
For starters, I am truly sorry that someone had to resort to being harsh with you and to hurt you. One of the main reasons why I do not reach out to my ex is because he already told me what I had to hear. I know that if I contact him I am only exposing myself to more hurtful words and BS. I know that I am a good person and I know that I gave it my all, at the end of the day he had already made up his mind about not wanting to be with me so there was nothing I could do. And why would I even want to do more for someone who did not open up or appreciate me as a person? I am still recovering and I am still “under construction,” but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. As for her telling you that you never made her happy, well that just sounds like someone who has chronic dissatisfaction and you have to know that you should be able to make yourself happy and to surround yourself with happy and positive people. Remind yourself that you, more than anyone else you know, deserves to be happy.July 11, 2014 at 1:26 pm #60644MichaelParticipant@Gladys Thank you for your kind words. the last line which read “but more so that I could give her the happiness she so deserves” was supposed to read “but more so that I could not give her the happiness she so deserves”. I did my best to please her, to make her happy, to make us happy. She was and is my life, my reason for being. To read her words and know she was so unhappy is unbearable. Why couldn’t I see that she was so unhappy? I actually did, I guess, just hid it from myself. She never once said “I love you” during the first three years, and when I finally mentioned it to her that she never said it or responded when I said it, she said it’s sued too much. Perhaps, but sometimes it’s nice to hear. She also never kissed me first-despite the situation. I know I’m just wallowing in self pity, but I always found those two things disturbing. All I can think of now is how unhappy she must have been.
July 13, 2014 at 7:13 am #60767AquaDiLunaParticipant@Blaice
I wanted to thank you.It’s very rare that I create an account for a forum because of something one user wrote, but this is one of those times.
Because of this specifically:
‘In the popular cases where one half of the relationship pushes a breakup and it completely blindsides the other half, know that the ‘dumper’ typically has been making up their mind over an extended period of time. Why would you even want to be with someone like this – someone incapable of including you in their concerns, queries, and anxieties about where the relationship was and where it was headed. These people were in a relationship with themselves and personally I would not want any closure from someone as conceited as this.’I believe I am pretty much over my ex at this point (it’s been 1,5 years after a very serious 3-year relationship), I just seem to keep missing the feelings I’ve had while I was in the relationship, meaning being in love in general, having the highest highs of my life, sharing your life, completely trusting someone else, etc – everything you experience when you’re really, deeply in love.
But just as so many others, he broke it off without any explanation from one day to the next.
I never thought about marriage and kids in all my life, but when he came into my life I – we wanted it all.
So it’s been very hard that past year to come to terms with all of that. And it’s been a long road plastered with whys, reasonings and trying to make sense out of it.
I’d love to say that if I had heard those words sooner, it would have been easier, but I don’t really believe it 😉 . There’s a time for every thing. And for me personally that time was now, having to read your words.So, thank you for putting things in perspective and making me see now as I am new and improved (hopefully ;)) that the path I unconsciously chose was apparently the right one.
Thank you Blaice.July 16, 2014 at 12:59 pm #61067JayParticipantThank you, Blaice, for this post. It comes at a time where I suddenly realized that I can’t seek all the answers I want, which is what I naturally want to do being a scientist. But also an emotional, ruminative, impulsive, and feverish seeker. I had to know what made the other person’s brain work. I wasn’t happy until I had metaphorically skinned them alive in my mind to find an answer.
But you are right. There doesn’t have to be a reason. Or, maybe the reason is just not paying attention to ourselves and holding fast to our boundaries (speaking from recent personal experience) when someone bolts in quickly and bolts back out again, cycling back and forth between hot and cold until you can’t feel the temperature change and no longer know you are in the water at all. The hardest part for me right now is trying not to kick myself over and over again for ignoring what I ignored. I allowed myself to be dragged down into the emotional murk again when I knew it wasn’t good for me, this person wasn’t good for me, the red flags were everywhere – as if a hundred bulls were running toward me at full pace, my heart felt heavy, and yet the good parts felt like a drug.
I apologize if I am rambling. Writing this is cathartic. It’s almost reaffirming to myself why I need to stay away and resist the impulse to pick up the phone. It will not make things better. Having a reason will probably hurt more. It’s okay to not have an answer. I will not die from it. I will not be injured from it. I don’t need it.
Thank you.
July 17, 2014 at 4:17 pm #61170KelsiParticipantThis was such an articulate and insightful post, Blaice. I feel my situation does not even compare to the ones I’ve been reading on here, and yet I somehow feel this type of pain that can amount to what it would feel like going through a break up after a 6 or 7 year relationship. I was seeing someone for about 3 or 4 months and I became infatuated with him in a short amount of time; he was my definition of a perfect guy..he was my type and everything. Add sex to the mix and I was already emotionally attached. I met him while I was going to school somewhere 2 1/2 hours away from my hometown but I just transferred out of there and will be taking some classes at a community college near home. Seeing each other now would take about a 3 hour trip and would make us a long distance relationship couple. We stopped talking for about a month when I came home for the summer but he got in contact with me again and said he wanted to see where things could lead us once more. He gave me all the signs that he seemed interested and cared about me and I even made a 3 hour trip this summer to see him for a few nights, and then a few days after I came home he insinuated that it wasn’t going to work out and we needed to be realistic about our situation.
I put so much effort into this person, with high hopes that we would work out and now we are back to being strangers again. And that hurts the worst knowing someone who became a routine or a part of your life is no longer there. I’ve been in a one year relationship where I was cheated on and even now I feel like the emotions I’m experiencing are more intense than when I found out I was cheated on. I feel I was led astray and used. I’ve been looking for answers and closure on to why this happened and why he couldn’t be clear and concise about his intentions even though he put on a facade and acted like he wanted something substantial. I can’t even imagine what it feels like having someone just let you go after a long term relationship. I care deeply for people so when someone lets me go just like that, I feel confused on how it’s so easy for them.
I hope whoever is going through a breakup right now can find a peaceful way to move on and learn to let go. The healing process is probably the hardest part, but I know it gets better eventually. A good support system and time are your only friends in this case.
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