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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

Poised

The Power of Poise: How to Stop Losing Your Cool

“Poise is an unseen power, and this unseen power is always ready to come to the aid of the outer action.” ~Sri Chinmoy

Poise is the seeker’s goal because poise is our highest state of consciousness. Poised, we are in a state of balance, composure, and equanimity, all of our powers at our disposal.… Read More

Sad Girl

Stuff We Don’t Need: 5 Reasons Why It Doesn’t Lead to Happiness

“Happiness can only be found if you free yourself from all other distractions.” ~Saul Bellow 

When I was 20, I bought my first serious piece of furniture.

It was a sofa covered in a nubby sort of fabric, a creamy shade of white with tan and light brown threads woven through that made the modern style seem warm and welcoming.… Read More

Rainy Day

Dealing with Dark Days: Help for When You Don’t Feel Your Best

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” ~Theodore I. Rubin

I live in a rainy city. For most of the winter it’s endless grey—weeks in which you’re lucky to get a glimpse of the sun at all.… Read More

Calm

How Anger Leads to Anxiety and What to Do About It

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~Buddha

I have a confession: I’m mildly obsessed with anger.

Not the negative feelings, the volatile outbursts, or the fly-off-the-handle reactions, but rather, how humans express anger.… Read More

Two People

Why It’s Not Selfish to Ask Someone You Love for Help

“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.” ~Unknown

I’m a woman in midlife who thought she was set after a long successful career and the promise of financial security. I supported my own way through most of my life, fending for myself and then my two children, even during a 15-year marriage that ended badly and another that never really began.… Read More

Appreciating the Moment

Finding Life Through Death: How Loss Teaches Us to Appreciate More

“If you learn from a loss you have not lost.” ~Austin O’Malley

The police officer walked toward me, leaving the multi-car accident behind him as he placed a bloody wallet in my hand. He asked me to open it up and verify that this property was indeed my best friend’s, who also happened to be my only brother.… Read More

Meditating

Wabi Sabi: Find Peace by Embracing Flaws and Releasing Judgment

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

Several years ago, a colleague and I were invited to give a presentation on mindfulness at our State Mental Health Conference. I was a novice and flattered to be asked.

Singing bowls, which are metal and look like a mortar and pestle, are useful tools in mindfulness practice.… Read More

jumping

How to Master the Art of Fear for a Life of Possibility

“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende

Until the age of eleven, courage was just a seven-letter word to me. It meant nothing. I knew all about fear though. Those four letters pierced through every inch of my being.

I still remember the sheer terror of visiting a theme park.… Read More

Smiling Woman

5 Tips to Stop Making Comparisons and Feeling Bad About Yourself

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

I remember one day when I was around six years old, my older brother came home from school with one of those star-shaped highlighters that had a different color on each point.… Read More

3 Lessons to Help You Find Peace When Fighting a Hard Battle

“He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” ~Proverb

August 3, 2001. I still remember it like it was yesterday. It was around six o’clock in the evening when she sat us down. Luther Vandross was singing in the background on the radio: “And it’s so amazing and amazing, I can stay forever and forever.… Read More

On Top of Mountain

Facing Life’s Big Challenges and Coming out on Top

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~Paul Coelho

I will never forget that day.

It is still as clear in my mind as if it were yesterday.

My son was just a little over three. He was going to a mainstream kindergarten and, well, his teacher had very gently suggested we seek a professional’s help.… Read More

Man Thinking

Forgiving the Unforgivable and Ending Your Own Suffering

“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourtro

I was completely unprepared for the emotional hailstorm that bombarded me when, back in 2001, I learned that my wife had been having an affair with my best friend of twenty-plus years.

My normal, predictable life (which I absolutely loved, by the way) had been virtually shattered overnight.… Read More

Woman at Peace

How Acknowledging Your Anger Can Help You Forgive and Find Peace

“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” ~Alice Duer Miller

As an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a relative, I had become accustomed to keeping secrets. Silence, I was taught, was a good thing. It protected people that I loved.

So for over a decade, I carried the dark and overbearing weight of my past in secrecy and in silence, believing I was the only one in the world who’d ever experienced such abuse—until I learned from a college workshop that one in four women and one in five men fall victim to sexual abuse by the time they are eighteen.… Read More

Dark Day

6 Simple Personal Commitments to Overcome Low Self-Esteem

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”  ~Iyanla Vanzant

You’re smart, funny, and genuinely good at heart.

You have ideas that could solve many of the problems you see around you.… Read More

couple

Loving Others Without Expecting Them to Fill a Void

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Conventional notions of what it means to love are populated with expectations for reciprocity that often get us into trouble. I know this personally, because whenever I have “freely” given my love, and it has not been rewarded with reciprocity, I have often come face to face with my resentment.… Read More

Sad Man

Today Can Be the Day You Turn Things Around

“In chaos, there is fertility.” ~Anais Nin

How did I get to this point?

This question pulsed through my brain repeatedly as I drove to my parents’ house in a state of complete exhaustion. My young daughter was strapped in the back seat, my pregnant belly pushing against the steering wheel, hot tears streaming down my face.… Read More

Sitting and reflecting

Reclaim Your Authentic Self: 4 Steps to Recover from Bullying and Abuse

When I was in fourth grade, a girl from another class bullied me. I was in the bathroom during class when I heard the door creak open and whoosh shut. There was silence for a moment, then the girl’s hands appeared on the top of the stall door, followed by her face.… Read More

Angry Face

Don’t Respond to Drama and Drama Won’t Come Back Around

“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” – Eckhart Tolle

One day several years ago, I was fraught with anxiety over with how to handle an uncomfortable personnel situation at work. I had an employee that was borderline explosive and insubordinate.… Read More

Positive Mind

Becoming More Positive When Negativity Feels Instinctive

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” ~Shirley MacLaine

If you have ever felt the depths of depression, you know it’s not the same as being sad or having “the blues.” It’s the hopeless, overwhelming feeling of melancholy where nothing, not even the people you love, can pull you out.… Read More

Overloaded

Emotionally Overloaded: Are You Taking on Too Much of Others’ Pain?

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” ~Havelock Ellis

I would have done anything for my friends, until one of them nearly broke my heart and spirit. He was my best friend. We felt like platonic soul mates.

We had a standing lunch date every week, called each other terms of endearment, cried together, laughed together—the standard best friend things.… Read More

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