@Dannydan Troublemaker? ME? Never lol!

I do apologise for the slight delay in my usually prompt responses. I saw the notifications but I’ve had women issues not that you boys would care 😭

I don’t even know where to start ,wow, reading that made me feel overwhelmed, can’t imagine how tough that must have been to face then to lso reopen. I just want to reach out and give you a big bear hug.

Naturally having had a shared experience of heartbreak I can understand but the feelings you described sound so frightening. I’m really happy you found this thread big shout out to @Shelbyville (I wish she came back and gave an update) I think knowing where a person is at can give other’s perspective, sometimes hope and sometimes not feeling so alone even if things are not good.

Those words are going to resonate with so many readers and I’m so glad you shared it. Thank you for being vulnerable and informing us on exactly what depression can feel like. I hope it comforts those reading who suffer like @Jay2023 (please post to let us know how you are!)

@Rhaenys was clearly touched by your post too. I loved her ending quote. It was beautiful 😪 you got that now so good it tight no matter what!

God works in mysterious ways and I know you had this conversation with @Shelbyville in reference to the concept of journeymate. I think you really derived more meaning from that concept than any one of us would. Two souls don’t just cross paths by accident, I am spiritual and God sent her for you. Her reason was greater than you recognised at first, you always knew this deep down, and when you started paying attention to your own soul. You realised that you weren’t a fuckboy, you weren’t a player. You weren’t just meant to meet and touch each other like pervs 😝 your souls went one step beyond and the love was powerful enough to motivate you to do the self work and have a true awakening that pulled you out of the darkness.

Your ego, depression, anxiety were all conquered when you decided to fight for her. So you have the grit to fight the remnants of this disease that you described as insidious. You can find the tools to cope because you already harnessed your fear once before with great courage when you made amends and then loved her with the wholeness you have. So keep loving, believing from that place.

What struck me the most was how in all this struggle and pain you still wanted to take accountability and didn’t tell us those feelings that were haunting you. So in one sense you didn’t let the depression, heartbreak, anxiety be an excuse. You faced the consequences of your behaviour even though they weren’t from a place of evil just a place of you being lost and hurt.

I think admitting it and facing it head on is going to really change a lot for you. You’re determined and you are willing to change. I can’t say this enough but I’m so proud of you Danny

I’m more proud that you don’t feel like a weak man for expressing your emotions. I’m proud you’re able to admit that darkness was depression. If those fears troubles you to that same extent. I feel you will reach out and seek help. You really have come an extraordinary long way. Well done!

I’m excited and rooting for you and ‘B’, she is amazing and I know she is very loved too. I’m probably just as excited to see you cross the line and celebrate your union by popping the Cork🍾 and the cherry 🍒. Lol! Roll on wedding fever!

@Rhaenys darling you’re doing great too! I’m glad Danny grew on both of us. It was a very useful insight, that you never really know what’s happening inside a person psyche. That’s why communication and expression of emotion is so vital for sustainable relationships.

I also want to say I didn’t have these layers,  I had addiction, I had the initial anxiety and feeling of I’ll never survive and wanting to commit suicide but I snapped out of that relatively quickly at that time because there was a poster Dose of Reality who sadly was terminal and said a lot of hard truths, there was initial shame but it just happened to resonate with me. I returned back to my faith with it being the pandemic and the self pitying began to lift because it is draining!

So I worked hard on my inner self and there were times I felt I was going backwards and I did slip thankfully this thread and my bestie helped me. I just wanted to do better, be better and have a better relationship that I knew I deserved. I can be very straightforward but I love from a very deep place and I realised that I wanted a person to love me unconditionally too. I realised I already had that person and that person was me.

Once you start self loving you appreciate and have gratitude for the right people. Just like Danny he had to look inwardly before he could accept ‘B’s’ love otherwise they would be in a continuous loop and toxic. So keep doing work. Work never ends x

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Sammy.