Somehow I’m thinking that trying to trick or distract yourself from checking out his Facebook page would be doing yourself a disservice. Do you keep promises that you make to other people? Why wouldn’t you keep a promise that you make to yourself of never looking at his FB page again. It is harming to you and it’s just a FB page. It requires no extra physical effort to not look at it.

Having this kind of control over yourself and the situation would also result in a better self-esteem. Now you are constantly undermining yourself, whilst if you just made the decision to stop and stuck with it, you would feel so much more empowered.

So, no tricks needed. Just stop doing it. If you can’t, then you should ask yourself how can you build some self-esteem and self-control to manage such a task, instead of coming up with ways to lure yourself out of it. You shouldn’t have to manipulate yourself into doing things.

When you are about to look at his page, just remember how bad it’s going to make you feel. Somehow you are now thinking that you’re going to get a salvation from the pain that you are feeling by prodding the wound. That’s not real control though. The real control would be to focus on self-care and keeping your promises to yourself. Other people aren’t the answer. You are.

In that case, it’s really not even just about the issue of checking out his FB page, but to really gain some control over your own mind. To stop listening to the side of you that tells you to act in irrational ways that only end up hurting you, and to start giving more power to the side of you that understands what is truly best for you. It takes some time and effort, but if you can manage to do that, then it not only helps you with this situation, but in life in general. Instead of the chaos of the mind, you could have peace and serenity and control over your own life.

When your mind tells you to do things you know you shouldn’t, just take a moment before you start reacting to it and start making decisions based on your fleeting emotions. Instead of reacting, take a moment to observe the thoughts and feelings that come to you and urge you to do something right now. Consciously try to be more patient and just allow those thoughts and feelings to come and go. This is a good time to practice, as whether or not you end up deciding to look at his FB page isn’t really a matter of life and death. So there is really no real pressure. You can even make a game out of it. Notice when you start to tell yourself to do these things. Is the feeling different from how you are usually feeling? Why would such a demand pop up in your head? Are you feeling scared and this is the response to such a feeling? Then perhaps think for a while how you could soothe your fear without taking such action as going straight to Facebook.

The more you patiently allow those “urgent demands” to come and go and you notice that you actually have some power over your own mind, the easier it becomes. If you fail, then just get back on the horse and try again. Seek healthier ways to take care of yourself than to instantly react to all fleeting emotions. Learning this is incredibly beneficial to you in life in general, so perhaps this painful break-up can work as a catalyst for you to learn a very helpful skill.

I guess we see things differently. To me it’s a sign of sanity to be able to be patient instead of following every impulse and to not listen to every thought and feeling that comes to me 🙂 I guess you find fear in dealing with your mind in general? Perhaps do things that would get you more grounded in reality. Ditch the computer for a moment and go outside into the nature and take in all the sights and sounds through your senses.

Removing all temptations from your environment for the rest of your life does not sound like a very rational nor practical idea.

Also, you say that you are trying to persuade yourself. You may try to persuade other people to do what you want, but why would you even have to persuade yourself? It’s you and if you’re not the one in control, then who is?

You don’t have to gather pressure. Right now you are going into war with yourself. But what if you took a passive approach and just sat and waited until the moment would pass? Just allowing those thoughts to come and go without grabbing onto them and starting to create pressure. There is no pressure unless you fight back. Don’t fight it, but don’t listen to those thoughts either.

If someone yells at you and you start to yell back, then there is a conflict and you’ll feel the pressure. But if someone yells at you and you refuse to respond to it in any way, there will be no conflict and the other party that is yelling will eventually stop, because they’re not gaining any control over you. You’ll just let the whole thing pass without adding resistance. Does that make sense?