Category “Stress”

Tiny Wisdom: Be Good to Yourself

“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” -Lama Yeshe

All too often we’re unforgiving and cruel to ourselves in a way we’d never treat our friends.

We’d never look a friend in the eyes and tell her she’s not good enough. We’d never beat a friend up over one mistake he made years ago. We’d never expect a friend to move mountains when she’s exhausted and clearly needs a rest.

Why do we sometimes do these things to ourselves?

So often when we think about self-love, we think about the big picture—forgiving ourselves…

Tiny Wisdom: Choose to Be Here

By Lori Deschene

“Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.”‘ -Eckhart Tolle

There is little in life that is more stressful than thinking you need be somewhere else but feeling powerless to get there.

There’s this dream I used to have over and over again. I’d want to get somewhere, but my body wouldn’t move. I’d start running, but I would essentially be jogging in place, like Wile Coyote when he was pushed off a cliff but he’d continue moving his legs while suspended in mid-air.

No matter how much energy I expelled, I was immobile; but I always …

Tiny Wisdom: Your Feelings Are Real and Valid

By Lori Deschene

“Feelings are real and legitimate.” -Unknown

One of the most frustrating things in the world is feeling something painful and having other people tell you that you shouldn’t be upset.

That it’s no big deal that relationship didn’t work out, or that opportunity didn’t pan out—that it’s all in your head, so you should let it go, suck it up, and move on.

A while back, a friend of mine got fired from a new job after her first day. We were out in a group when she got the call, and several of us watched her emotions slowly build …

Tiny Wisdom: Challenging the Fear of Criticism

By Lori Deschene

“The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” -Elbert Hubbard

Sometimes criticism can feel like a ticking bomb that needs to be disposed.

Case in point: I receive emails about every comment left on the site. While I’ll glance at them peripherally to be sure they’re not spam that made it through the filter, I generally let them accumulate so I can respond to many all at once.

But sometimes, I’ll notice a harsh criticism, and suddenly feel this need to respond to it right now.

I’m not sure if it’s because I …

Tiny Wisdom: Taking Things Away

By Lori Deschene

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” -Socrates

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from writing, it’s that knowing what to remove is often just as important as knowing what to add.

Surprisingly, it sometimes take just as much time to write something short as it does to write something long because it entails rewriting and editing to capture the most important points with the most specific words.

I’ve found that this same idea applies to other things in life: sometimes creating peace, happiness, or satisfaction has everything to do with what we choose to take away.

You can love …

Tiny Wisdom: Let Yourself Be As You Are

By Lori Deschene

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~Buddha

“My brain has been moving slowly all day.” As I told my boyfriend this, I felt each word roll out of my mouth with all the speed of a hill-climbing turtle. Like everything else I’ve done today, I’ve been speaking at a glacial pace.

I’ve retraced my footsteps over these last few days, double-checking how much I’ve eaten and how well I’ve slept. But despite playing low-energy …

Tiny Wisdom: On Making Peace with Time

By Lori Deschene

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” -Joan Borysenko

The other day, as I approached the street I needed to cross to visit the Coffee Bean near my apartment, I noticed there were only 5 seconds left on the walk signal. Instinctively, I ran. With a laptop. And a purse. In the heat. And why?

If I missed the walk signal, there would be another one in a little over a minute. The president wasn’t waiting on me with lattes getting cold. And there wasn’t a baby in the middle of the road who needed …

Tiny Wisdom: On Showing Your True Feelings

By Lori Deschene

“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” -Benjamin Disraeli

As I’ve been preparing my presentation for the Wanderlust Yoga and Music Festival, I’ve been watching a lot of powerful speeches related to my topics of authenticity and connection. I found my way to Dr. Brené Brown, who researches vulnerability.

In her inspiring talk, Brené explains how shame can be one of the biggest barriers to connection. If you believe there is something wrong with you—that you are somehow unworthy—you may hide who you are in fear of being judged and rejected.

This …

Tiny Wisdom: On Strength

By Lori Deschene

“Some people think it’s holding that makes one strong—sometimes it’s letting go.” -Unknown

Sometimes admitting that something is over can feel like defeat. After all, we hear a lot of messages that tell us to never give up–to hold on and keep fighting at all costs.

But if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know when it’s time to move on.

You’ll know when a relationship no longer serves you, and you’re just staying because you’re too scared to leave. You’ll know when a job no longer makes you happy, but you’re staying because you think it will be hard to …

Tiny Wisdom: On Freeing Your Mind

By Lori Deschene

“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

In his book Wisdom 2.0, Soren Gordhamer explores a concept he calls cup mind.

The mind, he explains, can be like a cup or the ocean. When you place a drop of blue dye in a cup, the entire contents may change color, whereas when you place that same drop in the ocean, it barely has an impact.

Our thoughts and feelings can affect our minds similarly. They can completely consume us and alter our entire experience of a given day; or, if …

Tiny Wisdom: On Carrying Stress

By Lori Deschene

“Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.” ~Astrid Alauda

It’s an easy thing to do. Our bodies and minds are so connected that stress and worry can actually cause disease.

We don’t have to be the victims of our anxieties. At any time, we can choose to alleviate the pressure.

We can take a break at any time. We can disconnect at any time. We can call a friend at any time. We can cry at any time. We can move at any time. We can hug at any time. …

Tiny Wisdom: On Anxiety

By Lori Deschene

“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Only we can choose the way we feel, no one else.

We don’t have to be the victim of our circumstances, the people around us, or the things we can’t control. Some things may hurt us and we’ll have feelings to deal with. But whenever we’re ready, we can choose to move on.

Want to feel happier? Spend some time doing something you enjoy. Want to feel peaceful? Take a break and breathe deeply or meditate. Don’t worry about the …

Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

By Lori Deschene

“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” -Eckhart Tolle

Things might not happen for a reason, but we can always find a reason to move on enriched.

We can let disappointments devastate us, or we can move on in humility, finding opportunities within the hardship.

We can let frustrations consume us, or we can foster a sense of peace and balance, choosing not to live in a constant state or reaction to our circumstances.

We can let dissatisfaction gnaw away at our spirits, assuming it’s too late to create life as we want …

Tiny Wisdom: On Yesterday

By Lori Deschene

“Letting go of the past means that you can you enjoy the dream that is happening right now.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

If you’re lost in your head, rehashing or obsessing, you miss all the little things that make life feel full and satisfying.

You don’t notice the small gestures that show people love you; they seem like everyday courtesies that don’t warrant consideration. You don’t acknowledge the trees and flowers that make your space beautiful; they fade into your peripheral vision like part of the furniture.

The little things are the big things. Happiness is paying attention. Give yourself permission …

Tiny Wisdom: On Starting Anew

By Lori Deschene

“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” ~Buddha

One of the greatest misconceptions in life is that we are somehow powerless to let go of what’s behind us. That we have to carry regret, shame, or disappointment, and that is has to dictate how today will unfold, at least on some level.

It doesn’t. At any moment, you can let go of who you’ve been and decide to be someone new—to do something differently. It won’t always be easy, but it is always a choice you can make.

You can either dwell and stay stuck, or …