Tiny Wisdom: You Need to Forgive Yourself

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” -Leo F. Buscaglia

There’s a scene in the movie Good Will Hunting where a therapist named Sean repeatedly tells the wayward genius Will, “It’s not your fault.” This comes on the heels of a conversation about the severe abuse Will suffered from his foster father, which led him to a life of legal battles and underachievement.

The first time Sean says, “It’s not your fault,” Will responds with a nonchalant, “Yeah, I know.”

But as he repeats it, over and over again, the words penetrate through Will’s tough exterior, and eventually break him down, until he’s crying in his therapist’s arms. This scene gets to me every time, because I know that “Yeah, I know.” And I also know that lost, vulnerable feeling of realizing that I really don’t know—and it’s holding me back.

There are certain things that most of us understand are true. We know that no one can love us if we don’t love ourselves. We know we shouldn’t blame ourselves for things other people have done. We know we need to accept ourselves or else we’ll never be happy.

But sometimes despite knowing these things intellectually, we forget them internally. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath and remember we’re doing the best we can—and our best is good enough.

Today if you’re tempted to get hard on yourself over that situation that didn’t pan out, or that relationship that didn’t work out, or the bad habit you didn’t cut out, cut yourself some slack instead. We all have room for improvement; it’s called being human.

But also, we all have gifts and talents that can make the world a better place. We can only share them if we realize that who we are is worth sharing.

Photo by eschipul

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people honor their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.

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