Hilarious, Thomas. No, I don’t remember reading this Zen Story before. It shows why it’s so important to check assumptions. Or even better, to ask before assuming.

Thank you 😊

I hope other members enjoy this as well.

🙏 Anita

Thank you for updating me, me (meme, ha-ha).

How was your Christmas? I didn’t celebrate at all. I remember that years ago you handed people 🍬 , in a shopping mall.

Here, I am getting over a cold (I hope). Didn’t go on my daily walk. Do you still exercise?

😨 Anita

Well, is that part of you that you described, is he.. lovable?

Dear me:

I get confused sometimes , not knowing if she’s being cold to you, let’s say on text, or it’s just that the two of you talked on the phone a lot the day before, and she just needed a break (as everyone does), and didn’t feel the need to engage in text the next day.

Maybe she was busy.. and you are very sensitive to any sign of rejection that may not at all be rejection..?

You are very welcome, Mollie!

As far as why it’s happening for us I think that it’s 🤔 about fear and how we respond to fear, well, for me it is, fear and the desire for comfort.

Like right now, it’s my 3rd or 4th day of having a cold, but today, it’s worse, and unlike previous days 😨, I am afraid to go on my daily long walk because I feel weak and not steady and afraid I’ll fall. Now, having a ROUTINE is very important 👌 to my mental health, to my sense of stability and well-being.

So, I’ve been feeling scared 😱 right before I answered you, and then, now, I am not scared because I find contentment in answering you.

In the past, feeling scared like this, I would overeat. Right before I sat down, I poured myself vegetable juice (60 cal) because it has lots of vit C, which I am sure that I need, because I truly need it.

It’s also looking ahead, which I didn’t do before- if I eat cake now. I may feel good for a moment, but I will feel bad for a long time.

So. I am writing to you and drinking healthy juice. It’s about choosing what I think and what I do moment by moment. No good choice is too small, little choices count.

In regard to losing weight, I’ve done keto, still do low carb.

Any of this helps?

😱=> 🙂 Anita

I’ll answer in a little while

Dear Mollie:

I am 😊 to read that your relationship with your parents is pretty good and that they are trying their best, and do fo you!

I think that your feelings about your dad’s tummy has to do with you caring about him and looking up to him (perhaps the child part of you still expecting parental perfection, and disappointed dad is not perfectly trim, etc.)?

My journey: a full blown eating disorder: binge eating big time, some anorexictendencies, very distressed over the binge-eating, felt like a freak, out of control, deciding to never binge again, then I binged again, rinse and repeat.

I was also very concerned with my weight, particularly being apple-shaped, meaning, any extra weight went to my belly.

For a long time, I looked 7 or 8 months pregnant!

I then purposefully lost weight, from 150 lbs to 110 lbs, which is the weight where I don’t have a bulging tummy. That’s the weight you can see in my photo of a year ago.

It,s been more than 10 years or so, since I binged. I think that my participation in tiny buddha helped a lot, attending to my own mental health and others’ (as a lay personofcourse, in the context of self help). The more I expressed my feelings (suppressing them less and less), the less I needed to binge.. until I no longer did.

I still approximate calories in, calories out every day though, and I never like it when I gain any weight, even when I am underweight (anorexic tendencies, I suppose).

I would love to share more with you. Just ask, and I’ll answer 😊

🤍 Anita