Well, Zoloft really did cut off the thoughts like a pair of scissors, it’s an SSRI anti’depressant that’s prescribed not only for depression but specifically for OCD (even without depression). I used to take it first thing in the morning.

You said you have an apt with a psychiatrist in a month. You can ask him or her about it.

🤍 Anita

Dear Nichole:

When you say you’re back in contact with your family, you mean with your older brother (and his wife and kids), and with your younger brother.. and with your aunt?

How is the contact going: is it helpful or harmful? How do you feel about it?

🤍 Anita

Dear Going Through Life:

And thank you for your kind wishes, dear friend!

About the peel off and loving myself process: what stood between me and feeling empathy for myself (or taking my side in life; being FOR me, not against me) have been (1) Ongoing shame which is often referred to in literature as “toxic shame”, meaning it’s not limited to doing something wrong and feeling (limited) shame about that one thing.

It’s been feeling shame about anything: shame for what I happened to think, what I happen to feel, how I happen to look like at any one moment (Tourette’s tics have been a big source of shame), for how I do things wrong or imperfectly, etc.

(2) Ongoing guilt in regard to my mother (she guilt-tripped me big time).

(3) Ongoing self-doubt and distrust of myself, questioning my intentions (like a detective would question a suspect). And similarly, I distrusted others.

So, peeling off these things is necessary if I am to love myself. Does this make sense to you?

“To be true dear friend, I still haven’t found a way to love oneself. Maybe it’s about accepting yourself and working on your short comings”- I think it’s about accepting yourself and working on your shortcomings with an attitude of empathy and kindness toward yourself (not with a judgmental attitude, berating yourself or being rude to yourself in any way).

“And also respecting yourself as much as possible. How would you define it dear Anita?”- Yes, respecting yourself.

How would I define loving oneself:

First, what it is not: It is not idolizing yourself, thinking you’re perfect, or forcing confidence.

It’s about how you treat yourself, especially when things are difficult.

In practical, everyday terms, loving yourself looks like:

1. Speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend: not tearing yourself down for mistakes, not calling yourself names, but giving yourself the same patience you’d give someone you care about.

It’s a shift from “What’s wrong with me” to “I’m having a difficult moment.”

2. Respecting your own needs: resting when you’re exhausted, eating when you’re hungry, saying no when something isn’t right for you

It’s recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

3. Allowing yourself to be human: you’re allowed to make mistakes, you’re allowed to change your mind, you’re allowed to take time to learn.

Self‑love isn’t about being perfect; it’s about giving yourself permission to be human.

4. Not abandoning yourself when you’re struggling: this is the big one.

Loving yourself means staying on your own side even when you feel low, when you’re disappointed in yourself, when you’re overwhelmed, and when you’re not who you want to be yet

It’s loyalty to yourself.

5. Making choices that protect your future self: setting boundaries, leaving harmful situations, building habits that support you, and choosing people who treat you well.

It’s long‑term care, not just short‑term comfort.

I’m looking forward to reading your thoughts about the above, when you feel like sharing.

🤍 Anita

Oh, and no, didn’t have any side effects for taking Zoloft (an SSRI).

*hoping, not *giping”, for crying out loud

You are quite a mystery to me, me.

Positively a mystery, I mean. I wonder 🤔 if you’ve been a mystery for her as well (“left her puzzled”).

Maybe you leave before you explain..?

How are you, Squiggly pop?