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anitaParticipantHow are you, Nichole? How was your Christmmas and New Year?
anitaParticipantHow are you, Zenith, on this first day of 2016?
anitaParticipantHow are you, Bea?
anitaParticipantDear Alessa:
Thank you for your yesterday’s message 🙏
Somehow your message to Bogart: “We believe in you Bogart!” reached him: first he didn’t vomit in the car (he drooled though and was anxious), second: he showed significant progress in the taproom, wagging his tail at friendly people (and one small dog) who interacted with him. On the way back in the car- no vomiting.
So, both Bogart and I are grateful to you, Alessa 🙏 🙏
🤞 😅 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Tee:
I want to start this reply with what you wrote in another thread about 10 hours ago:
“For this year, my wish is to walk towards my dream even if fear is present. For fear not to derail me from fulfilling my dreams.”- 👍🌟💫🍀 I wish you nothing but success, Tee. I am rooting for you!
I will now quote from your message yesterday addressed to me (above)and respond:
“To be honest, I don’t like conflict, I’m not looking forward to it at all. But I felt something needed to be said, because the style of communication was not respectful, but was putting people down. And so, I felt the need to address it.. but as I said, I don’t like situations like this at all 😕.”-
If there’s fear in that face emoji (I think there is), then I admire you not only for standing up for what is Right but also, for doing so in spite of fear or discomfort.
“I’m sorry your fear is still pretty intense.”- thank you, but I am not sorry. I think that the fear of her is appropriate and a sign of mental health. It’s the past dissociation from this fear that was sickness.
This does not mean that she is currently, as a person, dangerous to me. It means that my inner child (the one previously dissociated/ blocked/ suppressed) is now allowed to feel the fear of her.
In other words, feeling fear of her NOW is progress.
“It’s good that you’ve become aware of the various lies that she conditioned you to accept (lies about yourself, her, other people and the world)… we’ll need to heal our inner child… to become a parent for our inner child, who will tell positive, affirming things to our inner child (to counter your mother’s lies)”-
I am telling LGA, gently: “People are not as bad as she told us, not as untrustworthy. Many people are good and trustworthy” (LGA relaxes as she hears this).
I am telling her: “You are a good little girl; you always have been. I am here for you. You deserve nothing but love and positive attention (LGA smiles as she hears this.
“You have been working with LGA on rewriting some of those old programs, e.g. the program that your mother is a victim whom you need to protect. So perhaps that ‘program’ is not so strongly active anymore?”-
She was a victim as a child, growing up. She was not a victim in the context of.. being my (and others’) perpetrator. I have empathy for her in context.
“The goal would be to work on strengthening your sense of self. Whenever there is doubt and the inner critic (your mother’s internalized voice) starts shaming you, to stop that voice and give yourself compassion… What do you say?”- Sincerely, I don’t think I hear her shaming messages anymore. I still repeat my daily mantra of removing or peeling off chronic shame and guilt, but I don’t feel those anymore, I don’t think.
“If you keep repeating your longing and telling yourself that it will never be satiated… it might actually strengthen the old belief that there is no way out, and that you’ll be stuck in that hopeless longing forever. So, if you let the LGA speak and express her pain, but not offer to soothe her and comfort her, it might actually reaffirm the trauma. But if you take her in your arms and soothe her, telling her that you love her and cherish her, it will actually start changing that old imprint. It will be healing for LGA (rewriting the old script and healing the old trauma). At least that’s how I view it..”-
Thank you, Tee. I will apply your suggestion.
“I hope you’re slowly getting out of the cold/flu..”- Unfortunately (her sad/ scared), the bladder infection part of the cold has returned 2 days after I stopped taking the pills for it, so I restarted this morning.
“How is Bogart doing? Have you found the way to protect the computer cables and other important items from being chewed on?”- didn’t get cable protectors yet or repellent spray but have been supervising him. One step at a time. Did take him to the taproom yesterday afternoon. During the drive he was anxious, but once in the taproom, he showed progress- being less anxious and more friendly with people and with a small dog he positively interacted with.
🤍 🫶 🙏 🫶 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
Thank you and I too hope that this new year brings you many moments of happiness and fulfillment. (I say “moments” because there’s no such thing as an ongoing, permanent state of happiness and fulfillment).
As far as making resolutions every day: well, for one I repeat a mantra every single day: to peel off (or to continue to peel off) the chronic shame and guilt I suffered from and replace those with loving myself.
There’s no empathy for oneself when shame and guilt are permanent, or almost permanent states.
What does loving oneself means to you, friend?
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHey Confused:
“But it’s hard to move now”- this sentence made me think of a law in physics, Newton’s First Law of Motion, also called the Law of Inertia.
It’s often summarized as: “A body remains at rest, or in motion at a constant speed in a straight line, unless it is acted upon by a force.”
In yet other words, an object will stay still if it’s already still and keep moving (in a straight line at the same speed) if it’s already moving, unless a force pushes or pulls on it.
Depression often creates a kind of psychological inertia because the brain and body get stuck in a certain state. Example: you want to get out of bed, but your body feels glued down. You know you should shower, but starting feels impossible. Just like in physics, starting requires the most energy.
But even in depression, once you begin a tiny action, it can be easier to keep going. Example: you step outside for a minute → you end up taking a short walk.
Inertia can also apply to mental motion. When depression triggers negative thinking, those thoughts can keep rolling on their own, example: one self‑critical thought spirals into ten more.
In physics, motion changes only when something pushes or pulls on the object. In depression, “external forces” can be a supportive friend, a therapist, medication, a routine (!), a small success, or a change in environment
These don’t magically fix things, but they can give the system a nudge that helps shift the direction.
You don’t need a giant push to change inertia — just a small, consistent one.
Examples: a 5‑minute walk, drinking water, opening a window, or doing one tiny chore. These are like gentle pushes that slowly change the system’s motion.
What do you think, Confused?
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantI’m glad you had fun last night with younger and older coworkers! I didn’t stay up till midnight, not even close, but had a good time socializing at the local taproom. I hope to read about positive things happening in your life this new year 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHi Mollie:
Thank you! What a delightful Jan 1, 2026 message to read. To not punish yourself is key. Whenever you feel that you are disappointed with yourself, angry at yourself perhaps, redirect to => empathy for yourself. Treat yourself like you would a child who is upset- comfort her. Tell her it’s okay to make mistakes, that no one is perfect.
In regard to quitting chocolate or carbs, there’s no one answer fitting all. Do what works for you individually. If adjustments need to be made over time, make them when needed, one step at a time, one day at a time.
🩵 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Alessa and Tee:
It is news to me as well that certain (not all) antidepressants are used for pain management. So, I read that if you think of your nervous system like a volume knob-
Pain signals travel from your body → up your spinal cord → into your brain.
Some antidepressants turn down the “volume” of those pain signals.
How they do this-
Antidepressants increase certain brain chemicals — mainly serotonin and norepinephrine — that help the nervous system Block some pain messages, Calm overactive nerves, and Reduce sensitivity to pain over time
Mayo Clinic explains that these medications may increase neurotransmitters in the spinal cord that reduce pain signals.
Research shows they can help with many chronic pain conditions, especially nerve‑related pain: Nerve pain (neuropathy), Fibromyalgia, Back pain, Arthritis pain, Migraine or tension headaches, and more.
They don’t work instantly — usually 1–6 weeks to feel the full effect.
Which antidepressants are used for pain?
Two main groups: 1. Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) and 2. SNRIs which boost both serotonin and norepinephrine:
Harvard Health notes that SNRIs — especially duloxetine — are among the most effective for many pain conditions.
I further read that antidepressants, especially SNRIs like duloxetine, work best fir “back pain, knee osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, nerve pain, and postoperative pain” and they avoid the long‑term risks of opioids.
Wow, I didn’t know… Thank you both.
🩵🩵 Anita
anitaParticipantI apologize for all the typos (using my phone and should have put on my eading glassed wherever they are)
anitaParticipantHow kind of you. Thomas, to google things for me! I am truly touched that you did, thank you!
So drink lots of liquid and stay warm. I just sat by the fireplace after returning from the cold outside.
Mollie: I used to think that if I eat all the chocolate I wanted (in the form of German chocolate cakez), I will satisfy my craving and stay away from chocolate and cake and all forms of carbs.
It never worked for long.
It’s about relaxing extremes and going with Moderation. Not extremes.
I am okay now with having a bite or two. A small ootion of chocolate (100-150 calories portion) once a week, let’s sat, and savor the taste and feel of it.
Once I was so extreme about no fats and no carbs that I made myself sick.
Moderatio is key, control through reason and moderation, not through desperation and extremes.
About sitting, there was a saying. Z,z”sitting is the new smoking’- get up and walk around every chance you get, walk or stretch.
Thank you. Mollie for your kind words. May your new year be that of zzModeration and Patience and Calm.
🩵 Anita
anitaParticipantAgain, Happy New Year Everyone (.. Exactly one hour and five minutes to midnight in your part of the world, Thomas, four hours and five minutes to midnight where I’m at.)
✨ 🥂🍾🎊 🎉🥳🕛 🌟🎆📅 🎊🍀🌈 🎁💫🎉 🌅✨
anitaParticipantHey Confused:
Better find a routine that serves you better, one that replaces her in your mind, at least for part of the time. What might it be? A different exercise at the gym (Yoga? Tai Chi?) Maybe a social activity (joining an acting class perhaps)?
Anita
anitaParticipantHappy New Year, Mollie ✨🎊🎉🥳🕛
I will reply by tomorrow!
💜 Anita
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