Hey Confused:

Hailey said she’s South-Asian and her traditionak, South Asian family’s disapproval of her relationship was a big part of her losing her feelings.

Are you South Asian too, and is a family’s disapproval of your (now past/ inactive) relationship been part of the problem?

🤔 Anita

Hey Confused:

I meant that a lot of the times (if not every time) when I suggested possible explanations to the what-s, why-s and how-s, you rejected them. Like nothing clicked from what I said.

You say that you find it strange that no one (neither the psychiatrists you saw nor the therapist nor anyone else) suggested that you might be suffering from depression (since Nov)

I find it strange too.

Do you think you suffer from depression?

🤔😕👀😔 Anita

How are you, Thomas, 9 days since you posted last?

🤍 Anita

* not “less than 3 hours ago”, but exactly 2 houre before I submitted my last message, to the minute, which the magical part of my 🧠 says is a sign that what I wrote was accurate.

But thing is, often when I write X oy Y to you (and feeling confident about it), you say it’s not so (“But… I didn’t mean it that way, etc.)

🤔 Anita

Good morning, Confused:

You asked yesterday: “If it was just me falling out of love, why would it affect all the areas of my life?”- you’re asking why you fell out of love with life, not just with her, right?

My question: which one happened first?

If falling out of love with life came first, that may be good old depression, that and nothing else.

🤔Anita

Hey Confused:

Hmm.. I suppose, yes, it can be very different for you. I tend to project my experience unto others, assuming others’ experiences are like mine just because we have things in common. Maybe your therapist is projecting her stuff unto you as well (it’s common to do that, something to be aware of and work on when communicating with people).

Maybe your shutdown was indeed “just emotional burnout”, like you said, and maybe just like it says in this 2015 thread, maybe you just “randomly and suddenly fell out of love”.

I mean, non- random, gradual falling out of love is not the only way.. to fall out of love 🙂

Maybe you just fell out of love and got scared, as if falling out of love is a sin or a crime.. while it’s quite natural and quite common..?

🌼Anita

Talking about my childhood, my programming: I grew up with an explosive mother who showed affection in-between acts of aggression (beating me, shaming me, using words to hurt me)

Fast forward, if someone showed me consistent affection, I would have been, uncomfortable, like where’s the next aggression.. what’s wrong?

Because what we grow up becomes “normal”, and something very different- however positive- feels abnormal, like there’s something wrong.

Children normalize what they grow up with.