Hmm, let me present the question above as a multiple-choice question ( it may be helpful, if not, it may be fun 😀 (I’m okay with this emoji just for this post). Okay, here it is:

I (Confused) checked ✔️ for her messages every 10 minutes because:

a. I was bored and had nothing better to do.

b. I was afraid 😨 of her and was checking to see 👀 if she’d threaten my life.

c. I had nothing better to do. I was bored.

d. It was late, couldn’t sleep, so I kept my fingers moving for exercise (checking her messages) so to tire myself.

e. Bored.

f. I gambled with a friend for $20 that she’d message me by the end of the 🌙. Was hoping to make some 💰

g. Nothing 2 do.

h. a & b

i. c & d

f. 🤢

Hey Confused: I’ll B Back 2 U in a few hours

Hello Mollie 🙂

Bogart is a 🐕 and a he. He’s,9 months old, and very affectionate with other dogs and with humans. He’s particularly attached to me. Actually, he’s my first ever dog/ pet.

And yes, a pet can be.. an emotion regulating helper. It goes both ways. Dogs get anxious too.

I will check the app you recommended when I have the use of the 🖥 (using my 📱, hence all the emojis, they show up as I type and I can’t resist them 😉)

Yes, I am feeling better, thank you. Thing is current lows are so much higher than past lows (those felt devastating, maybe 10 years ago or even earlier touch 🪵)

Three more test days, how exciting, seeing the completion of five 🙌 years of study. Of course, studying all the time is not a good idea. We all need rest to recharge.

I 👍 how you talk sense to yourself when feeling guilty.

I’m glad your brother is better, more self- regulated than he was before. I wonder if it has something to do with him living with you vs him living with his- your parents.

Bogart just settled right beside me 🙂

Currently emotionally regulated 😉, Anita

1% charge (see my above message( Power 🔋 dying… Ahh. B Back Sun morning

Well, dear Confused, I don’t think it happened suddenly because stress has been building up “since the beginning” (you checking and analyzing the interactions with her). I suppose stress built up over time.

I mean, it wasn’t calm & happily-ever-after and then.. BOOM.

I said that you don’t trust your love for her because you’re overly afraid to hurt her (you said that many times). As in something hurtful or harmful can come out of your love for her.

I 👍 it that there’re 2 🙂s and only 1 😔 in your message right above.

🙂 Anita

How R U, Caroline?

A month and 3 days since you posted last. Thinking about you, Robi- from- Romania 🇷🇴.

I talked to a Polish- American woman the other day. I asked her what she thinks of Romania. She said it’s a beautiful country but lots of Romanians look for opportunities in Poland 🇵🇱 because it’s a much richer country.

Do you agree?

🇵🇱 🇷🇴 🇺🇸 Anita

Hi Peter:

I would like to withdraw my question above, it’s a silly question. Of course you didn’t suggest empathy without discernment 🙂

Also, please ignore my political commentary: your post was not political but psychological and spiritual and I want to respect what you brought up and not get carried away with what’s not relevant to your message.

I looked up “empathy as a sin” and found out there’s a book with this title and that it’s an idea promoted within Christian Nationalists, giving up on empathy in the name of righteousness.

I don’t want to get political, so my musings will be about the psychological- spiritual aspect.

First, I must say, I feel an attraction toward the clear, unambiguous thinking of extreme religion/ politics. Growing up in chaos and no- sense, I have a hunger for order and unambiguous clarity.

So, I can.. almost participate, emotionally, in the message that empathy for SOME people is a.. sin. There’s an attraction to the idea 💡 that there are people over there who don’t deserve empathy, and me and we in this group do.

Is this kind of thinking-feeling what you referred to as “shadow”, Peter?

Why would I, a person cast away, rejected as a child and as a teenager, and onward, feel comfort in the idea of belonging to a group that rejects others?

Because I’m finally in the rejecting vs the rejected side.

The middle way, accepting and being accepted, is less powerful, emotionally because it wasn’t anything I experienced.

When you grow up so very rejected by others, being a part of the other side feels exhilirating, as in finally, I am in the “in”, (rejecting) group!

For a child painfully rejected, judged as unworthy and inferior, there are only 2 camps: the rejected and the rejecting. And of these 2 camps, the second is the draw, the first is forever painful.

Perhaps the softening of the heart is about seeing a third option, a middle way, and placing the attention and focus there.

I hope that it’s okay with you, Peter, that I develop these thoughts later.

💡 🤔 💡 Anita