Dear Mollie:

I am 😊 to read that your relationship with your parents is pretty good and that they are trying their best, and do fo you!

I think that your feelings about your dad’s tummy has to do with you caring about him and looking up to him (perhaps the child part of you still expecting parental perfection, and disappointed dad is not perfectly trim, etc.)?

My journey: a full blown eating disorder: binge eating big time, some anorexictendencies, very distressed over the binge-eating, felt like a freak, out of control, deciding to never binge again, then I binged again, rinse and repeat.

I was also very concerned with my weight, particularly being apple-shaped, meaning, any extra weight went to my belly.

For a long time, I looked 7 or 8 months pregnant!

I then purposefully lost weight, from 150 lbs to 110 lbs, which is the weight where I don’t have a bulging tummy. That’s the weight you can see in my photo of a year ago.

It,s been more than 10 years or so, since I binged. I think that my participation in tiny buddha helped a lot, attending to my own mental health and others’ (as a lay personofcourse, in the context of self help). The more I expressed my feelings (suppressing them less and less), the less I needed to binge.. until I no longer did.

I still approximate calories in, calories out every day though, and I never like it when I gain any weight, even when I am underweight (anorexic tendencies, I suppose).

I would love to share more with you. Just ask, and I’ll answer 😊

🤍 Anita

Tell me about this part of yourself that resurfaced with her, and make your answer as long as you can, will you?

All those extra letters show up, using my phone and I don’t know why, or how to stop it. Nor will I have access to a laptop for some time.

What I meant is, if I am making sense don’t confess to her, no need to say too much. Just say a bit of what is true to you and listen to her response as someone who is your equal, not someone for you to fix or save or people=please

Dear Confused:

Just be as honest and transparent as you can be with her, tell her like it is for you right now. You can tell her how you wish it’d be for you, for her. But then.. it is what it is.

Honesty and transparency is the greatest gift you can give.

Gear Confused:

Yes, not the right time for a Goals Discussion. Seems like she is not attuned to you, like she doesn’t know where you’re at.

What is her goal in having such a conversation?

Hey Dear Confused:

There is a saying: “Fake it till you make it”, meaning here, ACT lovingly towards yourself when you don’t feel it. Some say, you will.

💙🩵💗🩵💙 ..Love by action…

Anita