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October 21, 2025 at 9:54 am in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #451133
anitaParticipantDear Adalie:
A new member, BAI, posted in another thread this morning regarding a relationship breakup and the person not moving on: “It seems that this person’s presence is teaching you the final lesson you must face: love and separation. What may be difficult to accept is not necessarily that she has started a new relationship, but that you are still held back by the belief that you were not enough—that if you had been better, you might have returned to her side sooner in a new role. Is that how you feel…?”-
As I read it, I thought it’s true to my attachment to my mother, it’s hard for me to separate emotionally from her because I am still held back by the belief that I was not enough, that if I had been better, she and I would have been close and together.
Then, when I looked at your recent post/ thread, I was wondering if that’s what keeps you emotionally attached to this guy.. believing that you were not enough, that if you had been better, the two of you would be together..?
🤍🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantNo.. EIGHT 16.. 17 pm
anitaParticipant9:16.. lol
anitaParticipantOverwhelmed.. ? I understand, me. Too much. No mention of her from me, me 🙂
We’re on the same time zone, not far away.. totally dark, and it’s only 8:15 pm.
You’re ready to go to bed? (I’m hoping to stay up for another hour..)
anitaParticipantDear me: I understand you don’t want to be vulnerable, it’s just that IF she is truly into you.. then you’re quite safe with her.
anitaParticipantDear Nichole:
Thrilled to read from you this Mon night!
C o N g R a T s for your new kitchen counter tops!
“this is a marathon not a sprint, this healing journey.”- and I am here to run (walk, really) this marathon alongside you 🚶♀️🏃
“my responses are sometimes more delayed than yours but I am here and will always respond.”- I am cool with that!
Anytime you want to express, to share.. Please do.
Seven minutes to 8 pm here, seven minutes to 11 pm where you’re at, soon going to bed?
🤍🌿 Anita
anitaParticipant“Does not read them”-CHOOSES not to read them? Ignoring you?
anitaParticipantAnd she chooses not to answer (really, I am slow in this regard.. not kidding).
She receives your messages, reads them, and doesn’t answer?
anitaParticipantI would like to read more from you. Lily, your thoughts, your feelings, and respond kindly, respectfully 🙂
anitaParticipantIn other words, she gets your messages and chooses to not answer???
anitaParticipant“she never reads the texts”- I have no experience, or very, very little experience with texting technology.. does it mean that she purposefully doesn’t answer your texts.. as a passive-aggressive move?
anitaParticipantDear Peter:
“However, the inner monk wants me to point out..”- “inner monk”, funny, funny Peter 🙂
“once the teaching are realized they are straightforward… direct experience… living truth… the experience itself… direct awareness… God as a.. verb”-
God as a noun- a being, a person, a deity; external, worshipped, obeyed; distant, hierarchical
God as a verb or symbol- a process, a presence, a way of being.
When “God” becomes a verb, the Ask shifts: “Love God” becomes “Love like God”, a practice.
I wonder—does your experience of love include me, Peter? Or is it more spacious, less personal?
I’m not trying to trap you in duality—I’m just curious how this living truth feels when it meets a face, a name, a smile.
How does it feel, that realized, direct, living-truth.. the experience itself? Is it a feeling of love that’s detached from people.. nothing personal..?
The experience itself, for me, feels like affection, that smile on my face and the softening of my heart when I typed out earlier “Hi non-hyena Peter 🙂”, and right above: “funny, funny Peter 🙂”. And the affection and gratitude I feel for Tee.. and my growing ability/ opening to love people.
Am I missing the point of wisdom, non-dual traditions here?
🤍🌿 Anita
October 20, 2025 at 5:37 pm in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #451101anitaParticipantYou feel used, I think..?
I wish he talked with you.
So, he didn’t block you.. just didn’t reply to you, ignored you all this time? (I forgot.. how many times did you reach out to him?)
anitaParticipantDear me:
I know you work many, many hours, so, I understand you not having time to visit her.
I just looked at your earlier post, you wrote: “which I said don’t feel lonely”. I misread it, I thought you wrote: which I said I don’t feel lonely.
I apologize for the misread!
“Nothing wrong with what I said.”- true, nothing wrong. I misread.
I don’t understand the current situation between the two of you. What does she want? What do you want?
Do you think the two of you are having an honest, straightforward communication?
🤍🌿 Anita
October 20, 2025 at 5:06 pm in reply to: “He initiated closeness, then disappeared — still hurting months later” #451098anitaParticipantDear Adalie:
“I don’t know what happened still from that night.”- maybe what happened was what you wrote back on May 8, when you started this thread, 5th sentence:
“I trusted him and let it happen.”-
It’s devastating to trust someone to stay.. and then he disappears. You want to know why.. what really happened, but no answers 😔
Anita
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