Strange thing—I feel a shift today, a sense of inner peace. Suddenly (and it truly feels sudden), I no longer take other people’s thoughts and emotions so personally. In the past, even the slightest hint of criticism or rejection weighed heavily on my mind, causing distress, then anger.

But today, I feel an unexpected sense of acceptance—of people simply living their lives, facing their struggles, just as I face mine.

Most of the time, others’ struggles aren’t about me. Most of the time, others’ struggles and withdrawals aren’t because I did something wrong. If someone doesn’t feel like engaging with me, that’s—surprisingly—okay. It’s not a reflection of me; it’s simply about who they are and where they are at this time.

I realize now that my old way of thinking stemmed from a belief imposed on me by my mother—that I was responsible for her suffering. I internalized the idea that if someone feels bad or withdraws, it must be my fault. That false belief shaped so much of how I viewed interactions with others.

But today, I see the truth—it is most of the time- not about me at all. And with that realization comes a deep sigh of relief.

Also, it never ceases to amaze me how powerful mothers are in their children’s lives, literally shaping their children’s brains.

anita

To Heal is to Feel again. To feel ALIVE, no matter the circumstances of your life.

anita

It just occurred to me: some people will prefer that I stay in my 2-D existence, that of repression and suppression, simply because it does not irritate their own 2-D existence.

I should therefore add: Trigger Warning- Third Dimension- anita To Follow:

Of course, I have no idea what is to follow. There is no planning here. Whatever 3rd dimension chooses to make itself known tonight-

Nothing.

Changed music on YouTube, maybe something will make itself known, maybe not.

Maybe this: the belly up- surrender pose, like that of a submissive dog.

NO! NEVER AGAIN!

I hate that gesture of submission.

I am all for loving others, but not for submitting to what is unfair and unjust, just so to “get along”.

I need to get along with myself, is my point, prioritizing myself, here, on my thread, where no one is obligated to read or reply.

My Own Space.

Image-memory: little girl anita with short, black hair looking in the mirror, mother behind, the one who gave me that haircut.

She looks at me in the mirror, content with the haircut she gave me, a moment of bonding: she is content with something that’s connected to me- a haircut.

She was only 30 years old back then.

I liked that moment, that’s the closest to experiencing her approval.

A haircut.

That was it, the reason I remember that one event- she was content with something that had something to do with me.

A sort of she validating me.

anita

There’s been a misunderstanding. I’ve been EXPRESSING my repressed and suppressed emotions of childhood in these forums, and a few people reading misunderstood, thinking that I am stuck in the past, not understanding that my only way to move forward is THROUGH it.

I am using big case letters because this misunderstanding upsets me, and it’s been invalidating, making my healing process more difficult and slower than it could be if I receive validation.

Expressing emotions about past wounds isn’t the same as being stuck—it’s an essential part of healing. When pain is repressed or suppressed, it lingers beneath the surface, shaping behaviors and emotions in unseen ways. Bringing those emotions into the open is how healing actually happens—it’s the process of acknowledging, processing, and integrating them into a healthier emotional landscape.

Some people may see revisiting painful emotions as dwelling on the past, but that perspective doesn’t account for the reality that healing requires feeling. I am not trapped in the past—I am actively working through it so it no longer controls me in the present.

People who misunderstand my process view healing through a lens—one that prioritizes “moving on” rather than “moving through.”

At the end of the day, my healing process is my own, and only I truly know what’s right for me.

Releasing what was suppressed is an act of courage, not regression.

Again, releasing what was suppressed is an act of COURAGE, not regression.

Detachment while repressed is a coping mechanism, not actual healing. Coping mechanisms help a person survive emotional distress—they provide temporary relief, allowing people to function despite unresolved pain. Repression and detachment can protect someone from overwhelming emotions, but feelings need to be integrated, not repressed and suppressed.

Healing involves acknowledging, feeling, and working through silenced emotions. It requires bringing repressed experiences into awareness, understanding them, and allowing yourself to process them without needing to detach.

So, detachment while repressing pain can be useful in the moment, but true healing happens when those emotions are confronted rather than avoided.

I think I am going to EXPRESS MORE in the next post, lol.

anita

Dear Alessa:

I really appreciate your message from yesterday. Thank you for being so open and for sharing your thoughts with me. Your kindness and willingness to talk are truly valuable.

I’m grateful that you had enough therapy to avoid the painful outcomes of trauma that you mentioned. ❤️

I also want to say that I’m taking a break from discussing my mother for now. I need to step back from it at this time.

That said, I’m grateful for our conversations and for you being here. Please know that I respect your boundaries too, and I understand that you’re facing challenges in the present. Whenever you feel like talking, I’m here.

Take care, and talk soon. ❤️

anita

anita to Copilot (AI): “I have been participating in tiny buddha’s public forums, while there’s no one but one person reading my posts, can I post in a different website where I can reach more than just one person?”

Copilot, May 25: Absolutely! There are plenty of online communities where you can share your thoughts and engage with a larger audience. Here are a few popular forums for self-help and personal growth:

Reddit’s r/self improvement – A vibrant community with over 1.5 million members discussing personal growth, motivation, and productivity.
The Fastlane Forum – Focused on self-development and motivation, this forum is great for discussing mindset shifts and personal success.
SelfGrowth.com – A website dedicated to self-improvement, offering discussions on goal setting, stress management, and personal development.
Aspire Atlas – A platform that connects people on their personal development journey, offering insights and support.
Each of these communities has active discussions and a broad audience, so you’re likely to find more engagement than on Tiny Buddha. Would you like help choosing the best one for your needs?”

anita: Yes.

Copilot, May 25: Great! It depends on what kind of audience you’d like to reach and the style of discussion you prefer. Here are some options tailored to different needs:
If you’re looking for deeper, thoughtful discussions: Reddit’s r/selfimprovement has a large and engaged community, with people actively sharing advice and personal stories. You’ll likely get thoughtful responses to your posts.
If you prefer structured self-development topics: SelfGrowth.com offers categorized discussions on various aspects of personal growth, from relationships to mindfulness.
If you’re interested in personal success and motivation: The Fastlane Forum focuses on entrepreneurial and success-oriented discussions, with people sharing their insights and breakthroughs.
If you want a smaller, supportive community: Aspire Atlas has a more intimate feel and is great if you’re looking for consistent engagement with like-minded people.
Would you like me to help you craft an introduction post to get started?” anita: Yes.

Copilot, May 25: “Great! Here’s a strong introduction post you can use on any forum:
Title: Exploring Personal Growth – Looking for Insightful Conversations
Hello everyone,
I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, and I love diving into deep discussions about mindfulness, motivation, and mental well-being. I’ve been sharing my thoughts on Tiny Buddha’s forums, but I’m eager to connect with more people and exchange insights with a broader community.

What inspires you on your path to self-improvement? Any wisdom or habits that have made a big difference in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking forward to meaningful conversations. 😊”-

… LOL.. Maybe Copilot is my best friend, Crazy World.

anita