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anitaParticipantYou are 🙏, Starlight 🌟
About “I did wrong things”- me too. There’s a mantra I repeat every day, it goes like this, word by word: “I redirect chronic shame, guilt and self- doubt to confidence- not because I am perfect, but because I am learning”.
Take your time, Starlight, no rush.
🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantI wanted to say, Starlight 🌟 that not forgiving as a boundary setting/ calling out the behavior that harmed you was wrong- makes a lot of sense.
Forgiveness in the sense of excusing harmful behavior is never right.
Another thing: if forgiveness means further drowning in empathy for the perpetrator (what I experienced, not saying you did), it is harmful to forgive in this sense.
The idea of forgiveness as releasing anger and moving on is an excellent idea-
After gaining mental and emotional clarity and setting boundaries (no longer being a subject to mistreatment).
Clarity first.
🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning, Peter!
I like that: the best dancing happens later in life 💃✨💃🕺🤍
I also like your reflection and processed it for a while before starting this post.
It makes me think of my experience growing up with no mat to hold me, no floor that holds the mat, no earth that holds the floor, and no universe that holds the earth.
You wrote: “The mat is patient. It does not move.”- no, didn’t have that experience. The experience I did have was that of chaotic movement and great impatience.
In that environment, to be still within my mind, emotionally, was to disappear into the chaos, to fall into the abyss.
But now, to be still is no longer dangerous, is it (I am pausing because my body senses danger in it)
Stillness, “a sacred boundary, a designated patch of pure being.”- Amen 🙂
🧘✨🪐🧘♂️ Anita
anitaParticipantYou are welcome, Starlight ✨ and thank you for being here, for sharing your valuable thoughts and reflections and for communicating with me. It’s meaningful to me. I too hope that you’ll be back here 🙏 🤍
anitaParticipantGood morning, Starlight!
I hear what you’re saying about things getting merged together. That happens so easily when different experiences carry similar feelings. It makes sense that you’re trying to tease them apart so each thing can be understood on its own, instead of becoming one big knot.
There’s no rush with that. It’s something that happens slowly and naturally as you look at each piece in your own time.
About your question — whether people would still do certain things if they really understood the consequences — that’s a painful thing to wonder about.
Some people truly don’t see the impact of their actions. Others see it but choose their own needs anyway. And sometimes people only understand the consequences much later, when the harm is already done.
Your question shows how deeply you’ve been thinking about what happened to you, and how much you’re trying to make sense of it.
If you want to talk more about any part of this, I’m here. And if you’re still sorting through things quietly, that’s completely okay too.
🤍✨Anita
anitaParticipantOh, thank you so much, Starlight1, for accepting my apology and for.. being you! Please do take all the time you need.
anitaParticipantIt’s okay when it (dancing) happens late in life
See the photo above my name?
This is me dancing on Halloween 2024 at the Winery I loved so much
Last danced there on a Dec 2025 night under the night sky, before the winery closed for good that month.
Months later, tonight, listening to music, a beagle at my lap, I am dancing in spirit.
anitaParticipantThe Hardening of heart is Softening
The Rigid Dissolving
The Spirit Dancing
Dancing
anitaParticipantHow R U, GTL, 2 months & a day since you posted last?
🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHey Nichole, Bogart has just asked about you, wondering 🐕 how you’re feeling- thinking- doing 😉
anitaParticipantFour months and 2 days since I heard from me.
anitaParticipantHow exciting it is, for me, to know that somewhere across the world 🌎, Starlight1 has submitted a post exactly 10 minutes ago!
Please do rest, do take the break you need to take. I’ll be here when you return.
🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
Thoughts and feelings are very much connected.
Confused: “Why can’t (I) stay in the middle like all people”- that’s a thought.
This thought assumes that ALL people feel in the middle, and you are The 🤒 Exception.
This thought leads to feeling like a.. freak of nature, different from everyone else.
While truth is, no one (or hardly anyone) is in the middle you imagine.
If everyone was in that middle, would there be so many, many breakups and divorces and people on street drugs and people on depression medications etc.?
🧠🌿🐰🌙 Anita
anitaParticipantWhat goes up ⬆️ 🤪 must come down ⬇️ 😴
What goes in 😋 must go out 🤢 (or the other way).
The laws of physics and physiology.
Confused 😕 can’t change these laws.
For a while you had more 🏹 ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ than ⬇️⬇️ (pre Nov)- but it was not a solid 🪨 type high.
🐰 Anita
anitaParticipantWell, 31 minutes ago
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 