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anita

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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 6,342 total)
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  • in reply to: The Hardening Heart #457565
    anita
    Participant

    The Hardening of heart is Softening

    The Rigid Dissolving

    The Spirit Dancing

    Dancing

    in reply to: Seeking clarity about a relationship #457564
    anita
    Participant

    How R U, GTL, 2 months & a day since you posted last?

    ๐ŸŒฟ Anita

    in reply to: What will my life be now? #457563
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Nichole, Bogart has just asked about you, wondering ๐Ÿ• how you’re feeling- thinking- doing ๐Ÿ˜‰

    in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #457562
    anita
    Participant

    Four months and 2 days since I heard from me.

    in reply to: Psychic ‘attack’ #457561
    anita
    Participant

    How exciting it is, for me, to know that somewhere across the world ๐ŸŒŽ, Starlight1 has submitted a post exactly 10 minutes ago!

    Please do rest, do take the break you need to take. I’ll be here when you return.

    ๐ŸŒฟ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #457560
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Dear Confused:

    Thoughts and feelings are very much connected.

    Confused: “Why can’t (I) stay in the middle like all people”- that’s a thought.

    This thought assumes that ALL people feel in the middle, and you are The ๐Ÿค’ Exception.

    This thought leads to feeling like a.. freak of nature, different from everyone else.

    While truth is, no one (or hardly anyone) is in the middle you imagine.

    If everyone was in that middle, would there be so many, many breakups and divorces and people on street drugs and people on depression medications etc.?

    ๐Ÿง ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿฐ๐ŸŒ™ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #457557
    anita
    Participant

    What goes up โฌ†๏ธ ๐Ÿคช must come down โฌ‡๏ธ ๐Ÿ˜ด

    What goes in ๐Ÿ˜‹ must go out ๐Ÿคข (or the other way).

    The laws of physics and physiology.

    Confused ๐Ÿ˜• can’t change these laws.

    For a while you had more ๐Ÿน โฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธ than โฌ‡๏ธโฌ‡๏ธ (pre Nov)- but it was not a solid ๐Ÿชจ type high.

    ๐Ÿฐ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #457556
    anita
    Participant

    Well, 31 minutes ago

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #457555
    anita
    Participant

    Hey ๐Ÿ™‚ Confused:

    I feel positively appreciative of her
    for her values and her kindness.. even when you “feel nothing again” (exactly 30 minutes ago)

    Well, I think well of her and had a good feeling a moment ago, appreciating her.

    My point is there’s a connection between thoughts and feelings, and thoughts come and go (although deep impressions last) and feelings are like ocean ๐ŸŒŠ not at all solid.

    Somehow, somewhere along the way you Confused ๐Ÿ’ง with ๐Ÿชจ ( that’s a rock)

    ๐Ÿ’ง ๐Ÿชจ ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿฐ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #457553
    anita
    Participant

    Is she religious (praying, you said)? Can you tell me a bit more about what you felt or still feel about her praying and lighting a candle for your deceased mother?

    in reply to: I find some bible stories traumatising #457551
    anita
    Participant

    Thank you for explaining (your post in this thread, right above). So, you watch certain programs or read things because people urged you to do so, and you kept reading or watching even though the material felt unhealthy or inappropriate?

    If I understood correctly, then I can relate. Not to this specific thing but to anything and everything that involves saying “no” and setting boundaries.

    I bet there are online exercises in regard to teaching setting boundaries and other assertive. There’re probably YouTubes on it. Some may be helpful. Did you ever look into that?

    But guess who is not recommending that you read or watch anything (even if I had something in mind for you to read or watch)?

    Me ๐Ÿ™‚

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #457550
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Confused the Poet:

    I wish you could accept how you feel: what you feel and what you don’t feel at any moment in time.

    The distress is of no good use, nothing positives comes out of it.

    I think I mentioned to you the concept of Radical Acceptance. That was part of my CBT- radical acceptance e exercises. I bet you can find those online.

    ๐ŸŒฟ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿฐ๐ŸŒฟ๐ŸŒฟAnita

    in reply to: I dont forgive #457548
    anita
    Participant

    Hi Starlight:

    I wanted to clarify something from my earlier reply. I used the word โ€œselfishโ€ about your mother, and I realized afterward that this wasnโ€™t the best way to say what I meant. Itโ€™s not my place to label your mother as a whole person. What I should have said is that some of the things she did were selfโ€‘serving and placed her needs above your wellbeing. That part is true, but itโ€™s different from naming her entirely.

    I also want to acknowledge something else. When I wrote about the deer, I was drawing from my own history with my mother, and I can see now that I let my experience blend into yours (projection). That wasnโ€™t fair to you. Your story is your own, and it deserves to be heard without my trauma coloring it.

    What you shared about being made to support her art school plans, and seeing her stay with someone who harmed you, are painful experiences in their own right. They donโ€™t need any added intensity from my side. I want to go back to listen to your reality as you see it, in your timing, without pushing you toward any conclusion.

    I wrote to you on the other thread that I’m here to walk alongside you, but in the above reply, I unintentionally (or without awareness) walked ahead of you. I apologize.

    ๐Ÿค Anita

    in reply to: I find some bible stories traumatising #457545
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Starlight1 ๐ŸŒŸ

    I just replied to your new thread. I will read your post above (and any post you may add) when I return from a walk with my ๐Ÿ• Bogart the Beagle and attend his play date with the neighbors’ beagles Kooper and Kurby. And then continue to clear the huge blackberries in the yard.

    ๐Ÿ• ๐Ÿถ ๐Ÿ• ๐ŸŒฟ ๐ŸŒฟ Anita

    in reply to: I dont forgive #457544
    anita
    Participant

    Hi Starlight1 โญ๏ธ

    Sounds like “Selfish” (her interest AT your expense) was your mother’s middle name and the church goer religious affiliation ๐Ÿ˜ž

    I am sorry, Starlight, that this happened to you.

    In this context, forgiving would mean saying that it is okay to take advantage of one’s own daughter/ fellow church goer, is it?

    That you ended your original post with the thought that your mother would be pleased with having mostly blocked your creativity says a lot about how much it hurts that she did.

    .. When a mother is so far from what a mother should be.

    I remember observing ๐ŸฆŒ mothers and their fawns years ago (I live in a wooded area outside the city limits) and I realized that although mother-deer don’t go out of their way to protect their young (they don’t, I was disappointed!), they never turn around and bite or attack their offsprings, or actively harm them.

    Unlike too many human mothers.

    ๐ŸฆŒ ๐Ÿ˜ž Anita

Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 6,342 total)