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anitaParticipantINCONVENIENCE
anitaParticipantHi, hello, hi Eva 🙂
“Was I actually asking for too much?”-
No, not at all, not objectively. It’s only that asking more from someone not able or not willing to give more, is.. well, unwise.
Like asking for water to gush out of a rock, something like that.
He called your legitimate needs and feelings “too much…dramatic… bullshit and nagging” simply because your valid, human needs and feelings INCONVWNIENCE him.
I am guessing he’d kind of get along, superficially, with a woman with no needs and no feelings other than those he’s okay with, a self-erased woman.. one whose been erased (repressed and suppressed) before meeting him, or one who’ll quickly adjust to him by erasing herself.
That’s my honest outside perspective 🙂
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning, Roberta 🙂
Thank you for your kind message. It brought a smile to my face when I first read it, and the smile is still lingering. I value the way you express connection — through simple, everyday gestures like imagining a walk or a cup of tea. It’s a warm and grounded way of being present. I just imagined having a cup of (coffee) with you and chatting.
Still smiling Anita
anitaParticipantGood night, ScottyDye and grandmother 🌙✨😴🌿
anitaParticipantHappy 250th 4th of July, ScottyDye. I hope you enjoyed the good food you mentioned on the other thread.
Here, sitting in the sunroom, finally dark, I can clearly hear loud fireworks ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ outside, 10 pm. The night is young.
Anita
anitaParticipantQ: The feeling of love- what does it mean?
A: The Desire to Connect.
In a way that Values me and Values you.
To C.O.N.N.E.C.T.
See me, Hear me, Feel what’s in my heart.
Don’t want 2 B ALONE.
.. I am not Alone. Within me, I am connected.
Because gone is the chronic, lifelong shame and guilt.
And what’s left is what was always there: a human’s desire to connect with you.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood 4th Eve 🎂
My celebration food was ribs & corn on the cob. And walked along the streets of downtown after the parade concluded. That’s all. Now hearing fireworks and expecting more late tonight.
I am not surprised she didn’t end it with you, and am glad she texted you 3 hours ago, so you don’t have to wait anymore.
How do you think what happened (that which caused her panic attacks/ overwhelmed her) can be prevented from happening again?
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood 4th of July afternoon, Confused:
Copilot (remember him?) says: “In reality, people often stay active on social media while avoiding deeper conversations because social media requires zero emotional energy, while real connection requires a lot. Her being active online doesn’t mean she’s avoiding Confused — it means she’s doing something low‑effort while not having the capacity for a real interaction.”- makes sense?
I know it’s difficult for you to wait and give her space, but you’re doing it anyway, and that’s admirable. How are you managing the wait (other than checking her social media activity)?
🌿🌿🌿Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning, JB 🙂
“I just graduated and moved away a few days ago, and saying goodbye was surprisingly emotional”-
It’s no wonder you felt very emotional saying goodbye to the first community you felt genuinely connected to (the last two years of business school).
Business school being over and moving away from a community where one felt genuinely connected to is a huge change and would feel destabilizing for anyone.
There’s something else that crossed my mind as I read your original post this morning: some friendships groups are specific to a time and place and they don’t carry on beyond.
When business school ended, even before it ended, maybe everyone experienced a sense of loss, a difficulty saying goodbye. To make it easier, people may emotionally detach from the friends specific to the time and place, so to make it easier to move on to the next phase of life.
They may attach to the people who are now available to them. If you don’t have people close to you now, in the place you moved to only a few days ago, it’s no wonder you miss the last people you were close to.
Does this resonate, JB?
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood 4th of July morning ✨️
Coming to think about it, 40% of people who do not experience sexual side- effects on SSRIs (including Prozac). That’s a lot of people on reddit, and those who do experience those side- effects may not feel like sharing that on reddit, embarrassed, maybe.
Sounds like, at times, she doesn’t feel worthy of you. I wondered about her autoimmune issue since you mentioned it. Maybe it causes her to feel depressed/ unworthy at times?
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantIt’s a pleasure having you here, ScottyDye. I would love to read more from you here, in your own thread, and in others’ threads 🌿✨🌿✨
anitaParticipantHello JB 🙂
“The fear is much more specific: that everyone else in this particular friend group will be invited and I won’t be.”- this is a raw wound, one I can so very much relate to.
In my life, particularly as a teenager, I chronically felt EX-cluded. The idea of being IN-cluded would have been a dream come true.
Nothing would have been more Elating than Belonging, a WoW!!!
Not even graduating from a full-time MBA program can match that longing-to-be-included?
It’s close to midnight here. I, a stranger who can relate, I think, would like to explore this further with you in the morning, if you would like that?
🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHello ( again), Just a Dude Living Life 🙂
Living life with the fewest complications. I like that ✔️
And with humility: making peace with not knowing. I like that too ✔️✔️
Reads like you got it, dude. Not in a grand, loud way, but in a quiet, gentle, humble way.
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
I hear that reddit is not always a reliable source of information 🐔
I think that she’s very emotionally attached to you AND she’s overwhelmed. Maybe she feels that in her overwhelmed state she isn’t good- enough for the gem-Confused (she said: “you’re the gem here, not me”).
Do you think this may be the case?
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHey ScottyDye 🌿
Yes, intense abuse disrupts being care-free every time 😔
The peace and freedom you’re experiencing shows in your organized, calm writing.
I’m glad you read the bible per your interpretation!
I like how the bible begins: “In the beginning”. Paraphrasing: in the beginning, all was chaotic and dark, and then God started organizing, separating and labeling things: sky and earth, dark and light, etc.
Seems like that’s what you’ve been doing: Separating the later version of yourself (the raumatized, chaotic, overwhelmed ScottyDye) from the early on- in- the- beginning ScottyDye’ the “carefree and more simple- minded”..?
And that’s why you like Lori’s book so much, Simple Wisdom.
Yes, let’s keep it simple 🙂
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
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