Dear Going Through Life (GTL):

You are welcome, friend, and thank you for caring! Glad to report that I am feeling much better this morning (actually, since last evening) 🙂.

At 25, you are just a pup (it’s a saying, just-a-pup), GTL!

Taking it very slow emotionally, is a good idea 👍

As far as New Year Resolutions- when I was just a pup, I used to make NYRs. Now, I make them every day 🌟🚀 😊.

Anita

Dear me:

“I just wanted to leave this girl so I can work on myself and start traveling not worrying about someone all the time… I had to make up a lame reason to end things, instead of the truth that I liked her”-

What you wrote here and shared previously many times (beginning in regard to the first coworker years ago) fits a certain Attachment Style, and I wonder if talking about it may help?

So, what you shared over time, fits the Fearful‑Avoidant Attachment Style (also called disorganized attachment), which I personally experienced for most of my life.

It combines two opposite forces:

(1) an Anxious side who longs for connection and closeness

(2) an Avoidant side who becomes overwhelmed by closeness

When there is a connection, a person with this attachment becomes hyper‑vigilant to signs of rejection, monitors texting frequency, tone, social media activity, feels easily threatened by small changes, and interprets neutral behavior as loss of interest, then shuts down when emotions get too intense, withdrawing suddenly, blocking, disappearing, or cutting off contact to regulate the fear.

This creates a cycle of: “Come close.. but not too close.”

A fearful‑avoidant person craves intimacy, reaches out, then feels unsafe in intimacy, panics and withdraws or blocks. Then feels lonely again, longs for connection, and repeat.

It’s a nervous system stuck between fear of abandonment and fear of closeness.

So, even small changes—like fewer texts, slower replies, or a missed Instagram story—can feel like danger.

I experienced this because I desired closeness with my mother but then it was unsafe, she turned against me too many times. That became the blueprint for my connections with people: wanting it but feeling unsafe in it.

Does this resonate with you?

Thank you for your good wishes for me, me. Maybe they helped because seems like my cold is gone or almost all gone since yesterday!

Happy New Year Me 🎉🥂✨🎊🍾🌟🎉🥳✨🍾🎊🌟🎉 Anita

Anita

We project to the outside what’s already inside of us. We see out THERE what already exists in HERE inside of us

Similar to the story you started your thread with.

Fascinating, Thomas.

🤍 Anita

edit; a good son

Thomas, I enjoy your humor!

Dear Q: Sorry you’re feeling a bit sad. Currently, I am spending the days leading to New Years sick, a cold, congested, not feeling well. I pray that we both feel better as time progresses. Let’s do our best to be good to ourselves and to each other 🌟.

🤧 Anita

What a delightful thread!

Very well said, Thomas: “Many times, people talk but aren’t really communicating well”. Later on, I’ll look for a story to share before the New Year ✨✨ ✨ 🙏 Anita

My goodness, going Through Life:

Happy belated Birthday, fellow Capricorn!!!

🎂🎉🎈🥳🎁✨🎊🍰🎆🎀🎇🍾🎵🎶🕯️💝🌟💫🎂🎉🎈🥳🎁✨🎊🍰🎆🎀🎇🍾🎵🎶🕯️💝🌟💫

I’ve been under the weather for days now, somewhat sick, but hoping for recovery soon!

Your Friend, Anita

Dear Confused:

As I read this morning (using a computer at this time) our recent conversation, I was wondering about this part:

You wrote: “I have already told her many many things that might not be true”- what things?

You also wrote: “I already told her that this version of me is not the normal one, I usually am a very fun person to be around… That is the part of me that gets activated when in love/infatuation and he is very lovable.”-

My thoughts today (easier said than done, of course): integrate both versions, become One (rather than version 1 OR 2). In other words, don’t reject the ‘not normal’ version of you.

Try to meditate on the above a bit, will you?

🤍 Anita