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anitaParticipantHello again, Thomas:
Like I said before, you are a very dedicated father and husband, and they’re both lucky to have you ✔️✔️✔️
I bet your daughter is excited and maybe nervous about the transition, but she has you for support, and that’s huge!
Alessa’s most recent post was on March 14- a month & 2 days ago. She said in that post (and in posts earlier), that she was very busy (studies, parenting, pets, and more), so I understand her need to conserve her energy.
Really good to read from you, Thomas. I wish you and yours the best!
✨️✨️✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantHey Thomas:
Thank you for visiting this thread, a pleasure to read from you!
To clarify: I slept on a kind of a sleeping bag (don’t know how to call it) on top of the carpeted floor, so I didn’t lose heat.. only sleep 😔
Sadly, I will be sleeping tonight on that (whatever it’s called) as well because part of the mattress in the bedroom is wet because of a special detergent from the pet store (plus a lot of perfume I sprayed on it).
I am sufferring from what I’d call micro-PTSD as a result of the first time he peed on the bed yesterday morning (I didn’t witness the 2nd time, only the results), and on top of it, the results of the 2nd time.
I keep hearing the sound of it.
Yes, I decided that next time he pees ( on the carpet), I will hold his nose close to the pee and sternly say “No! No!”.
Thank you, Thomas, for the advice and concern 🙏
Next, I’ll reply to your other post.
🐶 (No!No!) Anita
anitaParticipantOh, so it’s an antidepressant that is not an SSRI (Prozac the original, and Zoloft which I used for many years).
It’s saught after by people who don’t want the sexual side-effects of SSRIs.
Wellbutrin works on the Dopamine mechanism while SSRIs work on the Serotonin mechanism (wthe latter produces the SSRIs famous sexual side effects).
Also, Wellbutrin increases energy.
Wellbutrin became widely prescribed 9 years after SSRIs were out and about.
Overall, Confused, being that you previously stopped an SSRI because of the sexual side effect, Wellbutrin sounds promising to me.
🐔 🐔 🐔 (I am running out of saved emojis, so 🐔 it is).
Anita
anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
Even though you feel dull, you don’t come across dull in the 80 pages of our communication. I wouldn’t be looking forward to your messages, if you were dull.
Actually, you are fun to talk with.
It’s interesting how you feel “so dull” while not coming across as dull. I am guessing you don’t come across as dull to the woman who plans to visit you in June 🙂
Not saying that how you wish to feel doesn’t matter, ofcourse it matters.
Wellburtin, sounds very familiar but I am drawing a blank. Will ask Copilot and get back to you.
anitaParticipantThank you, Mollie 🩷
I’m doing alright considering my dog peed on my bed yesterday, something I never imagined could happen, and he did it twice 😱 I’m very tired from the stress and having to sleep on a sleeping bag of sorts on the floor in the sunroom.
What you shared about your mum yesterday really stayed with me. It sounds like something in you softened when she stepped back a little — almost like you could breathe in a new way.
Sometimes when a parent begins to give more space, it opens up a different kind of space inside us too.
How did it feel in your body after that conversation with her — lighter, heavier, mixed?
I was also thinking about the recent exchange with your brother, almost like you took on the parent role and he was like a rebellious teenager. Does it feel like that to you?
✨️ 🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantNot just thinking this Fri night, but being bamboozled, really ( It’s Fri night here)
Late this morning, I saw something I never saw before (since Bogart the Beagle entered my life):
I saw it, couldn’t unsee it: Bogart peed on the bed we share every night for the last 5 months!
It took some time for it to register in my mind. Then I grabbed some piece of clothing and placed it under his peeing. Next, I wiped the sheet and blanket with rubbing alcohol and let it dry.
I put this disturbing incident out of my mind for as long as I could, until this evening- to my horror- he peed AGAIN on the bed, and now, literally I can’t sleep on the bed and have to camp out in the “sun room” in this very, very rainy night.
My bed is a pee fest.
Could be Bogart’s anxiety (he has separation anxiety and feels anxious whenever I am not there with him, like when working in the yard). It could be a UTI- have to take him to a vet to rule this out)
In whichever case, I have no bed to sleep on tonight, it’s raining, it’s cold and.. well, this is my update tonight. Will sleep on the floor/ mattress/ blankets near Bogart tonight, hopefully sleep.
I love Bogart, but am not getting a second dog ever. I now understand how difficult it can be to be a parent/ a mother/ a beagle mom.
For crying out loud, I have no bed to sleep on. I feel guilty: should I never leave Bogart’s presence because of his separation anxiety?
Forever babysit him 25/7?
Getting ready to hard floor sleeping, if I can.
Would like to update you ( whomever may be reading) tomorrow (Sat morning)
🚶♀️ 🐕 🐶 🙏 🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantSorry, a typo: Boris
anitaParticipantIt’s be a miracle to read from you again, Doris.
In my last post to you, March 4, 2021, I wrote to you: “It is easy to run with thoughts, but difficult to stay with an emotion”–
True, only thing is that I was referring to you while that’s what I was doing my whole life: running away with thoughts so to bypass emotion.
Seems like I didn’t realize back then that it has been what I was doing.
I want to look at your thread further tomorrow.
Anita
anitaParticipantHmm, Confused the Day Dreamer (CDD) Turned PC Gamer 🙂
The plan to get to know each other over time ( you shared before that this was your plan) was reasonable all along.
I understand it being difficult for you. Where are things between the two of you at this point, in practical terms ( anyone suggesting an irl get together?
What is her input on your shifts of emotion (anhedonia)?
🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
There were no PC or PC games back in my day. I escaped through daydreaming- while listening to music or when walking to and from school, and at other times- having love stories or other adventures running through my mind like in the movies.
Yes, from what you shared, she is a special person, and together- the two of you are special people.
Still, 3 days irl is just not long enough to be the basis for life- changing decisions (such as moving countries)
And it’s not that the 3 days were happy and calm- it was a mix of things, anxiety and lack of certainty included.
.. Who wouldn’t be Confused in this circumstance?
🤔 Anita
anitaParticipantHey Mollie:
It’s encouraging- to read about a mother (yours) willing to look inward and make changes, however difficult.
It’s difficult to change long-standing thinking and behavior. Way easier to keep going just as before.
I imagine it’d be difficult for me, if I was a mother, to NOT rush to save my adult children from making mistakes. And yet, it’d be MY mistake to do that rushing.
A child- minor or adult- needs enough space and distance from a parent to develop and practice one’s own agency, which includes falling and getting up again and be allowed to do that without unasked for interference.
It’s a healthy practice for your mother to not rush to save her children.. as well as for you to not rush to save your mother 🙂
✨️ 🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantIt’s a term used online on LDR communities, he says. The signs fit what you described. Hmm, it’s interesting, different angles to look through your situation.
It always struck me as unusual- to have a long-term love relationship that includes talking about moving countries so to live together, but only have met irl- in person- for 3 days only. I can’t wrap my mind around it still.
🌿🌙🦉 (I can summon saved emojis, but none show up spontaneously as I type)
Anita
anitaParticipantHey Confused:
“On edge hyper vigilant” is how I grew up, or grew is more accurate, turned inward, too on- edge to grow outward, as in connecting with people and really living life.
“LDR burnout”, is that a term?
Using my phone, I’ll ask Copilot and get back to you (by the way, emojis stopped showing up, maybe because I voided “cookies” a bit earlier)
BBack
anitaParticipantB Back 2 U on a few hours. Confused 🙂
anitaParticipantB back 2 U later, Mollie 🥰❤️
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