Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
anitaParticipantHey Confused:
“Anf ofc my mind would blame the girl haha seems like the scapegoat”- I don’t understand this part. Can you explain it to me 🙂?
“We are the same on this Anita, I wonder why is that?”- the two of us having had mothers who weren’t what mothers are supposed to be?
Supportive, consistent, dependable.. sensible?
🌙 Anita (Fri 8:16 pm here, Sat 6:16 am there)
anitaParticipantIt helps to light up the mood. I don’t think gifs will show up here, in the forums, but I like them too. (I am using the computer right now, so no emojis show up (sad face emoji)
anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused: I’ll be away for a few hours (last night at the taproom, business going out of business)- will reply later tonight. (using computer, no emojis, ha-ha)
anitaParticipantSo good to read back from you, Mollie 💚
I am sorry to read that your brother and his girlfriend broke up and that it has taken an emotional toll on the family. I hope living with him works out. I see that you’re hopeful that it will.
It’s late morning here and I’m about to start the day: walking the dog, doing some work in the yard, and later joining people for the last day at the taproom downtown as it’s closing (a get together place since 2017 😔).
I would like to write more when I’m back late this evening or tomorrow morning.
🤍 💚 Anita
anitaParticipant“The tragedy of a nervous system that has forgotten its rhythm”, “how a compassionate heart naturally moves”, and “the heart mistakes it’s own hardening for strength”.
I want to meditate on this for a while, on how it applies or applied to me, and how softness and strength can co-exist.
There’s plenty more for me to read in this piece and contemplate in the next few days. Thank you, Peter.
🤍 Anita
April 10, 2026 at 10:04 am in reply to: On Purpise and Shame- what is my purpose? What is yours? #456808anitaParticipantYou are welcome, Peter, and thank you for your responses above 🙂.
I wish these were better times and I am worried of course.
I will look up what you mentioned in your 2nd post later. I am curious.
Will read your brand new thread next.
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning- evening, Confused 🙂
I understand it being confusing, annoying and scary- all at the same time, like having 2 selves, or being split into two parts: the one that feels love and wants to be with her, and the other part that doesn’t.
And then trying to bridge the gap between the 2 parts by relentless questioning, checking, googling, etc, that doesn’t work.
CBT works for a lot of people because there’s a strong connection between what you feel (or don’t feel) and what you think. Often people think what is not true to reality (aka distorted thinking), and CBT (the Cognitive Therapy part) is about correcting distorted thinking.
When that happens, feeling respond and the two (thinking and feelings) are no longer conflicted/ confusing.
CBT is different from psychoanalysis: Yyou don’t have to talk about your childhood (unless you want to, I guess).
Yes, I don’t like gifts.. nor do I like holidays and celebrations.
Back to CBT- it works for me because, like I said, when distorted/ untrue/ false thinking and core beliefs (example of one: ‘if I don’t feel love for her all the time, or every time I think of her, then I don’t love her/ I will hurt- disappoint her’) are corrected within your own mind, good things happen (mental health, clarity, stability).
😱=>🙂, 🥶=>😉, 👎=>👍 Anita
anitaParticipantI will, Confused, in the morning 🌄 🙂!
anitaParticipantYes, I did manage things with CBT, I am a CBT fan. I still have the handouts my therapist Aaron gave me. It’s in a 📂.
I am not very focused at the moment but will get back 2 u Fri morning my time.
Signing out Thurs 9:18 pm, Fri 7:18 am your time.
🌉🌙✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantGood 🌄 🌉 Confused (you’re 10 hours ahead of me):
Therapist said your symptoms show OCD definitely?
Well, that’s huge because there are treatments for OCD and I think that the major (non-pharmacutical) one is CBT. I am hopeful for you.
I was diagnosed with OCD and my therapist at the time (2011-13) specialized in CBT, gave me exercises similar to the one you mentioned. It’s supposed to interrupt the OCD loop. And it did, for me.
Think of it.. your questioning whether you love her, the “leave her u don’t want her”= an ocd- hiccup.
By the way, we have this in common: I don’t like gifts, asked people to not buy me gifts or initiate any celebration of my birthday (I don’t reveal my birthday so to avoid any gifts or a mention of it)
Seems to me that you genuinely appreciate and love her, and that “constantly checking (your) feelings” is indeed an ocd- hiccup.
NO 🎁 4 me, Anita
April 9, 2026 at 5:44 pm in reply to: I’m gonna use a Portable DVD Player instead of using streaming services. #456790anitaParticipantHow are you, Ivy?
anitaParticipantHow R U Mollie?
anitaParticipant* posted last… I wronged you
anitaParticipantThere is little chance you’ll be reading this 5 days to 5 years since you posted lasy. I didn’t thoroughly read our communication here but I read enough to know thatI owe you an apology.
I want to figure out where and why I went wrong (I’m almost sure I wrote ged you). Will be back tomorrow.
🙏 Anita
anitaParticipant“I could never feel…excitement when receiving gifts… from previous girlfriends… inside, I wouldn’t be touched by the gifts”- the disconnect/ shutdown 🥶 / gap since teenage years 😔
“her gifts touched me so much I cried a lot”- the reconnection (with the younger Confused)/ the awakening 🔥/ the bridge 🌉
🤔 Anita
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 