YES! Confused is still here 👍🥰✨

Yes, of course, guilt is affecting you. You indicated that many times, beginning in your very first message here, on Dec 19, 2025: “feeling like a burden and like I am responsible for her feelings” and last, in your post before last: “Yes i have been very guiltful 🙁”.

Maybe we should explore your guilt, figure out what it’s about, when it started?

Anita (who knows a thing or two about guilt)

Oh, my goodness, Confused: it’s longer than 24 hours since you posted last. 25.5 hours since you posted last. The thought: I may never read from you again.

It happened so many times over the years. If this is a goodbye, then 👋

🌙 🦉 🐇 🍦 🍕 🤢 😐 😊 Anita

Hi Mini:

My last post is the first of my posts to you that is a (slightly edited) AI generated response addressed to you. Re-reading it, it leaves me a bit confused.

So now, using my 📱 again (I am low- tech and don’t know how to access AI on my phone), I want to go back to a strictly human response 🙂

In your first post in this thread you wrote that your boyfriend of 3 years loves you “deeply”-

But I don’t know what that means: in what pracical ways is his love for you deep?

You said that the two of you discussed favorite colors and he didn’t tell you (you wished he would) that his favorite color is the color of your eyes.

If he did tell you that, it would have been a symbolic, poetic way for him to say: ‘I-love-you.’

But again, in practical terms, H.O.W has he been loving you deeply?

You said that you don’t want another partner but him. And I am asking myself: you don’t want another because you’re afraid to have wasted 3 years with him? Because you’re afraid to end up alone?

Or because he has been loving you deeply (in practical ways you didn’t mention)?

When I literally accepted your words that he loves you deeply, the expectation that he tells you that his favorite color is the color of your 👀s seemed.. superficial a bit, as in: why would it matter if what you experienced from him is deep-love?

Sometimes people focus on what is minor (color of your eyes example), so to distract oneself from what is major (‘does he love me deeply?’)

– End of my human thoughts.

Anita

Hi Mini:

You are welcome 🙂. You are someone who loves with a lot of depth and awareness, Mini. You notice things, you feel things, and you remember things. That’s precious, not “too much”.

Wanting initiative from a partner isn’t unreasonable. It’s natural to want someone to remember what matters to you without needing reminders every time. It’s natural to want to feel chosen, noticed, and cared for emotionally. Those aren’t extravagant needs — they’re human ones.

And I hear how exhausting it feels to be the one doing most of the emotional work. When you’re the person who sees everything, it can feel lonely when the other person doesn’t see you in the same way. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you — it just means he loves differently.

I don’t think your passion is something no one can meet. But I do think it’s something rare. You don’t have to shrink yourself or pretend your needs don’t matter. Because they do matter.

How does it feel to hear that?

🤍 Anita

Good Friday, Peter:

Copilot told me earlier this morning in regard to my last post here that it was a monolgue not a dialogue, that I should have asked you if what I expressed resonated with you, if you feel it to be true to you. Do you agree?

In regard to my post before last (my observation), it was too dense. I should have limited it to the faulty external (adult) compass messing with the true internal child compass.

Perhaps I got too involved with what you presented here, making it more about me than about you? (that’s not Copilot’s suggestion, it’s me thinking).

Please let me know what (if any 🙂) participation by me you would like in your threads.

🙏 Anita

Hi LeenBee:

You are very kind to thank me for inquiring about you. Most people don’t bother to say thank you 🙏

I am not surprised that the former new tenant left and that you intend to leave as well. It’s a good thing you’re not in a rush to leave.

Some dynamics can’t be changed or adequately changed, so better leave them behind.

Does he know that you intend to move, or are you keeping it a secret (as well as where you’d be moving to, when time comes)?

🤍 Anita

Good Friday, Zenith:

Thank you for pasting the above here! My goodness, ChatGPT sounds almost as intelligent as Copilot 🙂

To no longer try to win an argument (in your head), but to exit it 👍

Yes, I agree that you’re (particularly) sensitivity to imbalances in relationships, and that family hierarchies tend to be permanent, and that the wiser choice is to set quiet boundaries rather than dramatic 👍

I ditto ChatGPT 👍👍👍

🤍 Anita

Good morning, Nini:

Rereading your posts, I can see that you love through attunement.

Attunement is the ability to tune into another person’s inner world — their emotions, needs, signals, and subtle cues (LIKE a shift in tone of voice/ facial expression) — and respond in a way that makes the other person feel seen, understood, and valued.

You sense what the other person might be feeling, even if they don’t say it directly, you adjust your behavior in a way that matches their emotional state, and you remember details that matter to them because those details help you understand who they are.

Attunement is like dancing. Some people naturally feel the rhythm and move with you. Others love you just as much, but they step on your toes without meaning to.

Nini, you are highly attuned to your boyfriend. He is less attuned — not because he doesn’t love you, but because he’s wired differently.

The mismatch creates pain because you feel unseen and he feels confused about why you’re hurt. You interpret his style as lack of love, and he may interpret your needs as “too much”

Yours is a high‑attunement attachment style. You love by immersing yourself in the other person. This is not “too much.” It’s simply your way of loving.

Your boyfriend loves you — but in a different style. From your description, he is steady, cares for you, tries his best, but is not naturally expressive, forgets details, multitasks, etc. This is a low‑attunement attachment style, but not a lack of love.

He loves differently through consistency, through presence, through trying, through being there in his own way. He’s not withholding; he’s simply not wired the way you are.

The real pain is that you feels unseen- this is the emotional core. You say: “No one ever listened to me… even now my family doesn’t take me seriously.” So, when her boyfriend forgets things, misses emotional cues, multitasks, doesn’t respond with the same intensity …it doesn’t just disappoint you.

It reopens an old wound. It confirms a story she learned long ago: “I am not important enough for someone to pay attention to.”

That’s why “small things” feel big.

(I will continue in the next message)

Anita