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anitaParticipantHow are you, Kris?
June 21, 2026 at 9:03 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #458805anitaParticipantDear Robi:
By this time I imagine you sent her a message? If you did, did she reply?
And today, you’re supposed to resume talking with your girlfriend- did you?
I wonder what it is that kept the two of you together all this time..?
The Shakespearian quote just came to my mind: “To thine own self be true, and if follows like (I’m paraphrasing here) night follows day, you will be true to everyone else.
I hope to read from you soon.
By the way, I liked 🙂 the visual of Robi transferring wine from a barrel through a small hose just so to have a 🍷
Anita
anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
“Something is missing”- is it 100% passion for life, 100% excitement that’s missing?
I know what you mean when you say “honesty can hurt”. Honesty isn’t really confessing every thought and every feeling (or lack of feeling) that you experience. There needs to be discernment- that’s part of loving someone.
Why do you think you pressure yourself to be perfect?
“Danmn brain”- funny Confused 🙂
The grim scenarios.. I wonder what Copilot would say about it. I’ll ask him when I get on the computer.
I hope you keep taking the med, I think it’s working and that you are making progress 👏👏👏
Anita
anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused 🙂
She got emotionally very attached to you- even though she has difficulty trusting people- because (I figure), she can tell that you are the bee’s knees when it comes to a man being honest with her and caring for her and about her.
Her trust doesn’t mean that it is possible for you to be perfect. No human can be perfect and never hurt another person unintentionally- not even a bee’s-knees-human aka Confused!
Another thing that nor human nor bee can do is feel good 🥳 all of the time. Or even close to all of the time.
🌿🎶✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantHey 🐝’s🦵- I’ll answer in a few hours, just not focused now 🙂
June 21, 2026 at 11:41 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #458797anitaParticipant* great idea
June 21, 2026 at 11:40 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #458796anitaParticipantHey Dear Robi 🙂
I am sure that you upgraded Alicante by being- working there (I really think so, I am not saying this just to make you feel good)!
I think it’s a grat idea to open up to her in a message tonight: it’ll give her time to respond from a calmer mindset.
Anita
June 21, 2026 at 7:51 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #458793anitaParticipantDear Robi:
“I might just tell her I feel attracted to her and see what’s what. I feel I have no more space for playing things cool or anything like that. Some simple honesty feels alright these days.”-
I like this very much! Some Simple Honesty (SSH) may huSSH.. the pissed-off Robi. SSH with everyone, particularly with yourself ✨🤍✨
Café del Mar- WOW! If I ever get to Spain, I am going there! I remember that you told me you worked in a cafe in Spain and I think it was on the beach.. was it this place?
🌿Anita
anitaParticipantGood Sunday morning, Confused 🙂
WOW! What a delight to read this update!
She seems very much emotionally- attached to you, and getting even more attached.
You did an excellent job communicating with her and soothing her anxiety. You are indeed the bee’s knees, Confused!
“Yes, yesterday during the videocall (which was again 8 hours almost and we had fun) … still expect my ‘feelings’ to be around all the time and me wanting to spend every moment with her… The thing now is why did I lose the ‘rush’ to videocall tonight with her again? It’s so annoying that it lasts only for a brief period of time..”-
I am confused 🙂, you mean that “8 hours almost” of fun = “a brief period of time”?
Anita
anitaParticipantUnloved, Invisible, Alone; chronically ashamed, guilty, self- doubting, tormented inside, distressed:
Ohhh.. wow, what a life!
Like living in a pressure cooker of mental- emotional distress.
And what a relief to be healing these days faster than ever, finally breaking through walls.
Totally worth it even though I am no longer young, even though it took so long.
🌿 Anita
June 20, 2026 at 8:43 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #458782anitaParticipantDear blocked-off and excited, pissed- off 🤬, tired 😔 and confused 🤔 Robi 🌿
I think that what you need more than anything is C&S (Clarity and Simplicity).
If the relationship with the current has not been working- repeatedly & for a long time (“fighting a lot… so tough”)- wouldn’t it make sense to take a real break from each other, for at least month, maybe longer?
And within this break you can explore a possibility with this new girl?
🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHey 🙂 Confused:
“I will worry about that if and when it happens” – this is a healthy Confused 👏
“We agreed to be very open because no one wants to hurt the other person”- this is a healthy relationship 🥳
Her not telling you right away when something you said or did (or didn’t) hurt her- that’s very common. But if she’s willing, she can practice a new behavior: telling you within an agreed upon time..?
45 out of 90 minutes in the Gym is exactly 50% less than normal (I was worried I’d have to use a calculator, but you made it easy for me 😁)- which is (🧠 calculating…..) 100% more than no time at all in the Gym ( did I get it right)?
Trying to practice a mindset of Positive Attitude & Gratitude (PAG).
👏🥳🌙🦉 Anita
June 20, 2026 at 11:08 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #458775anitaParticipantGood Saturday night (there), Enticing Robi 🙂
I like the idea of spending time with friends at the Cafe. I wish there was such a place for me here!
As I read about the woman who works there, I had a few thoughts: (1) How lovely (perhaps) it’ll be if you had a girlfriend living so close to you vs long- distance. (2) Maybe her relationship with her mother is different from the current girlfriend’s, such that is not trigerring for you, and maybe overall, she’d be more compatible with you.
(3) Maybe she’d be less compatible.
(4) If you leave your current, I imagine she’d be very hurt 😔 (5) I wonder if it’d be appropriate to sort of “interview” her so to check possible compatibility.
Well, # 5 ocurred to me right after I typed out # 1-4.
Another thought: Why is life so complicated?
I am fine, although it’s getting to be too warm here for me, and biting insects is a problem.
What thinks Robi about 1-5, or 1-6?
🤔 Anita
anitaParticipantHey Debbie: did you get the photo I took this morning (had help sending it to your email using my phone)?
Anita
June 19, 2026 at 7:24 pm in reply to: The man I was dating has pulled away completely and gone silent #458772anitaParticipantHow are you, Robin? I hope to read from you again 🙂
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