It’s time for the night🌙 Owl 🦉 to go to bed. Good 🌃 Confused. No, haven’t been at the taproom. It closed for good last Friday (4 nights ago). Had some 🍷 at home.

By the way, you first posted here on Dec 19, page 13- 65 pages of just you and I talking.

* Sadly, I lost my beloved vomit face for no apparent reason, and this one showed up instead 🤢. Not the same.

🦉🍷🌙 Anita

Hey Night Owl 🦉 Confused:

I pray 🙏 to God every day: rationally I don’t believe in God, but emotionally I have to.

I am imagining right now the two of you living together: three rooms are needed: one that’s your private room, another that’s her private room, and a third where the two of you meet.

No, no, too many rooms. Only 2 are needed: one for when the 2 of U spend nights together and another room for when either one of you needs alone time.

Then a kitchen and a living room.

Or, if you can’t afford a kitchen+ 3 rooms, then there need to be a sign that says NITM2T2A (not in the mood to talk to anyone). Abbreviated: NA.

There can be simple solutions to complex problems depending on budget

🤔 🤢 🙂 Anita

A minute at a time is a good beginning.

“In the beginning” are the first words of the Bible (Genesis), and paraphrased, it says: In the beginning the earth was a mess with darkness over the earth .. and then God separated the sky from the ground, day from night, etc.

It took god step by step to organize the mess, so, yes, start with a minute 🙂

You .e tinned fawning in the message before last and in this message you mentioned having a really hard time setting boundaries and asking for space.

That’s something perhaps to talk about in therapy?

Hmm, if you feel like you can’t set boundaries with her- that’s scary, isn’t it? Like you’re in danger of your personal space being invaded by her?

🤔 🤢 🦉 Anita

Hey Peter:

“I still need to work on that”- on being you or on being silly?

I don’t remember Peter being silly 🤔

Thank you so much for telling me that you think it’s great that I can express myself as I did. I was a bit afraid that you’d think otherwise.

Really? It’s really what you think? (no need to answer, of course you mean what you say. I know you well enough to know that you are.. religiously 😉 honest)

It’s just that it’s hard for me to believe that how I spontaneously express myself is truly okay with another person.

“Between ‘Egypt’ and ‘Promise land’ lies the wilderness”- the wilderness here is me being silly and then a bit anxious about whether it (my silliness/ spontaniety) was received or rejected.

I am curious if your religious background is Catholic or Methodist (two possibilities that come to my mind). I don’t expect an answer. It’s perfectly okay with me that you don’t answer any question you’re uncomfortable with or if you just don’t feel like answering.

The value in my asking may be just to share with you what crosses my mind.

“Whatever you lose, you’ve won”- winning distance from ‘Egypt’ and getting closer to the ‘Promise land’- within my own mind, mentally and socially?

If I remember correctly, the Jews in the desert 🏜 never got to enter the promised land (I didn’t get a chance to look it up, having a limited use of the computer).

🤔 🎶 🏜 Anita

Good 🌄 Peter:

In the past, I would feel embarrassed for having submitted an emotional, silly message like the one I submitted at 9:12 pm last night (my time).

But this morning I felt embarrassed by the dry, clinical, emotionally- detached posts I had submitted so often over the years (you can look at my first response today to “A”, a 9 years ago thread in which you posted as well).

But now, although the faint taste of embarrassment is still in my mouth (for the dry-clinical post to A, and for the silly-emotional post to you last night), I feel almost okay with both.

For the post 9 years ago- because I didn’t know better. THAT was my best at the time.

And for the post I submitted to you 13+ hours ago- because it is better. Emotions are okay. Emotions are welcomed.

I no longer need to suffocate, flatten.. suppress them under a cover of clinical, dry analysis (which is what I did as a child, surviving a highly chaotic, out of control, scary emotionality dished out by my mother).

The thought that last night’s post (and similar ones I submitted to you before) are unwelcome, or makes you cringe- crossed my mind. If this is the case, please tell me and I won’t post such in any of your threads anymore.

Our emotional languages are changing over the years.

Looking at your reply to A 9 years ago, you wrote that following an ex’s decision to end contact with you, it “Hurt” (your word, big-case letter, H- a direct expression). That was simple and direct. But that was a 1 2 1 exchange, not a literary piece directed at an audience (I hope you submit these pieces in other, more popular websites where they can be read by more people)

I still want to process your last 2 amazing posts a bit later.

🎶 🤍 Anita

Hey Dopamine Deprived (DD) Confused:

The empty and pointless feelings- don’t push them away, don’t fight them.. breathe them in. There’s a possible transformation in doing just that.

🤢 => 🙂 Anita