Continued:

Yes, my next reply did get worse.

Emma responded to my critical, judgmental last reply by saying that she sensed criticism in it, and then explained herself a bit more, honestly and politely.

My response (6/21/2021), the last one before she deleted her account): I accused her of criticizing me (for telling me rightly so, that she sensed criticism in my reply)

(Continued next- using my phone)

Hello ( to anyone who may be reading this):

I discovered AI on a personal level at the end of 2024 and at one point on had it evaluate some of my replies for positives and negatives.

This morning, I copied and pasted Emma’s first post and my first reply ( June 29, 2021) and asked it to evaluate that reply. I didn’t yet read the evaluation. I want to do my own.

First reply (6/19/21): no empathy expressed for Emma, absolutely none. No validation of her feelings (something like: understandably you were hurt. You were emotionally invested in him, believed he was honest with you, and then he betrayed your trust in him). And no appreciation for the courage it took her to post this ( after all, she started her first post with: “Before you judge me..”.

Second reply (6/20/21): again, zero empathy, zero validation, zero appreciation for her being courageous- or for anything that’s positive about her.

But then, I took my lack of attunement a step further: I told her that the guy’s girlfriend was right to blame her (Emma) for the affair.

If it was ever right to say anything like that (gently though), it wouldn’t be in a second reply before I expressed any empathy for Emma.

Here I did what she was afraid of: I judged her.

(continued next)

Hey 👋 Confused:

Ha-ha, it so happens that I live 5 minutes (driving) from a complex, now preserved as a historical tourist attraction, famous for having performed lobotomies on a regular basis!

I visited the actual preserved surgery room where lobotomies were performed 😱

Taking or not taking psych drugs is a very personal choice. I’d say if nothing else works..?

🤔 😱 🤢 Anita

Hello Robin 🙂

What an intelligent reply (your first in the forums, at least under your current account). welcome! I hope to read from you again 🙏

I doubt the original poster, Emma, will read your reply because she posted only on June 19 & 21, 2021 (page 1) and then deleted her account (Pages 2-8 are conversations between other members).

Her last post here was exactly 4 years & 10 months ago.

I appreciate you reactivating this thread because it’s an opportunity for me to evaluate my replies to Emma so much time later. I would like to do so tomorrow.

🤍 Anita

Hey Peter:

Yes, I detected your joke 👏

I think highly of his work, his metaphors are very clear (I feel those knots in my body regularly, holding my breath, the tics, the physical tension).

I wonder why he was criticized and belittled.. maybe fo making things simpler to understand, maybe betraying a professional code (using established terms)?

I am curious and will ask you know whom when I get to the 🖥

As to the ‘no self’- my sense of self was so poor, so fragile, so in danger of collapsing completely.. that my mind couldn’t perceive of a no- self differently from a physically dying self.

Now, having a less desperate and despairing sense of self, I can untangle the knot of imminent death surrounding the concept.

I want to revisit the concept (No Self).

You said you notice knots (I did, in the previous message), or about to create them-

Create how, I wonder.

Seeing these patterns helps me ‘hear’ my ‘gut’ (the abused internal compass), as I did in my last message and even in this message (I deleted “like” in “like I did” above, because again, I felt you’d be insulted by me placing myself as equal to you).

Of course, there’s more, later.

🙏 ✨️ Anita

Good morning, Peter:

I wonder if “4. Knots- Religious Trauma” above resonates with you a whole lot? (It does for me if you replace “religious” with ” shame”)

It says (Copilot): “Religious trauma creates knots … Every emotion becomes suspicious. Every impulse becomes dangerous. Every choice becomes morally loaded.”, leading to feeling “anxious, guilty, self- monitoring (and) emotionally frozen”?

The above follows the message: “your natural feelings are sinful”, “Your doubts are evil”, Your desires are dangerous”, “Your inner voice cannot be trusted”?

I wonder if you looking inward as much as you do is a continuation of the self- monitoring mentioned above.

Not that you looking inward is something unhealthy (it helps me gain insight and become healthier, 🙏).

Spontaniety is the relaxing of (excessive) self- monitoring, isn’t it?

I think that the two of us have quite a bit in common even though I have no religious background.

* As I typed the above sentence I noticed shame: not for not having a religious background, but for saying that the two of us have a lot in common, feeling that I was insulting you by suggesting that you have a lot in common with someone as inferior and shameful as me.

I almost heard my mother speaking 🔊 through you: ‘HOW DARE YOU suggest that I am anything like you! You despicable, disgusting creature…’

* I first wrote that you and I have “a lot in common”, then, to lessen the size of the insult (and before noticing), I changed it to ” a bit in common”.

This is me living inside the knots and now, becoming aware of it.

I would like to further relax my self-monitoring and continue to untangle thosr knots.

🤍 Anita

Ha-Ha, you’re funny, Confused! A lobotomy will not bring you peace!

She’s going to visit you next month? Wow!

Yes, I meant the SSRI.

Good night, funny Confused 😴

🤍 Anita