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anitaParticipant* I just noticed the double posting- my mistake (fortunately, not a… traumatizing mistake 🙂)
anitaParticipantHi again, Debbie 🙂
🙏 for rescuing a tiny, scared kitty!
And congrats for the ten years anniversary with Lexie 🥳
Bogart was 5 months back in Dec last year (now 11 months old) when purchased from a dog breeder where he lived since birth with his parents and dozens of beagles and other hounds. The breeder said he was “shy” and that he played with the younger dogs (not with the older dogs).
He was very anxious upon leaving his pack for days later, but over time and loving attention, he felt safe and loved in his new home.
I like your suggestions about how to behave with him in the kitchen. I practiced what you recommended except for sitting with him in the kitchen (and giving him treats while sitting). I will do that next, thank you for the recommendation and encouragement!
Yes, I think he was greatly alarmed by the scream because it was very different from how I normally sound. It was a shock for him and he probably felt like he did something wrong.
It happened and I can’t undo it 😔 but I’ll work on repairing the memory.
In the last few days, I’ve taken him to a dog park where he gets to be around other dogs unleashed. My first dog- park experience!
Thanks again, Debbie 🙏
Anita
anitaParticipantHi again, Debbie 🙂
🙏 for rescuing a tiny, scared kitty!
And congrats for the ten years anniversary with Lexie 🥳
Bogart was 5 months back in Dec last year (now 11 months old) when purchased from a dog breeder where he lived since birth with his parents and dozens of beagles and other hounds. The breeder said he was “shy” and that he played with the younger dogs (not with the older dogs).
He was very anxious upon leaving his pack for days later, but over time and loving attention, he felt safe and loved in his new home.
I like your suggestions about how to behave with him in the kitchen. I practiced what you recommended except for sitting with him in the kitchen (and giving him treats while sitting). I will do that next, thank you for the recommendation and encouragement!
Yes, I think he was greatly alarmed by the scream because it was very different from how I normally sound. It was a shock for him and he probably felt like he did something wrong.
It happened and I can’t undo it 😔 but I’ll work on repairing the memory.
In the last few days, I’ve taken him to a dog park where he gets to be around other dogs unleashed. My first dog- park experience!
Thanks again, Debbie 🙏
Anit
anitaParticipantHi dear Calm Moon 🌙
Congratulations for asking for a pay raise! 🥳
I am positively impressed by your high level of self- awareness, and by you being guided by deep values (“being true to myself and others”) more than by fear.
I do not have to be ‘good, invisible’ person from now on”- 👍👍👍
When “good” is no longer tied to being “invisible”- that’s true healing.
Good and Visible is a new way of life, isn’t it?
I want to respond further a bit later. This is an amazing update, Calm Moon. It makes my day 😊
✨️🌿✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantGood Thursday morning, Debbie 🙂
Glad to read you’re still here, alive and kicking. How are your 6 dogs and 4 cats? Lexie’s story touched me, and you being the hero in her story.
Bogart is resting here with me, on my lap. A few weeks ago, there was an incident in the kitchen. I almost tripped on him and I screamed. But LOUD. Maybe all my lifetime trauma was in that scream. Bogart was very scared and for days behaved like PTSD whenever in or close to the kitchen
Of course, I regretted the scream, been mindful to keep my voice within a normal range, and there’s been progress with Bogart but he’s still not his normal self in the kitchen or around. Otherwise he is affectionate with me and sociable with other dogs and okay with people in general.
What do you think about what happened?
Anita
anitaParticipantAre you still here, Debbie?
anitaParticipant* if it’s okay with you to reply, that is, if it’s not a problem for you, or a source of pressure ( you definitely don’t need more pressure in your life!).
So, it’s okay with me whether you respond to the new thread I intend to start tonight, or not. Just wish to keep reading from you.
anitaParticipantComing to think about it, Lisa, “Alone” (the title of your thread), and “Unloved” (I am thinking of starting a new thread titled “Unloved”), is pretty much the same thing, isn’t it?
When Unloved we are Alone.
Please reply to me here or in my new thread…?
Anita
June 17, 2026 at 5:42 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #458691anitaParticipantDear Robi 🙂
Benz the beagle? Huh, another Beagle whose name starts with a B, named after Mercedes Benz. I know you’ve been into cars. Did you name him?
Bogart’s name is taken from the 50s movie star Humphrey Bogart, most known for the classic Casablanca.
Yes, Bogart is capable of such close connection with humans. I am trying to catch up to his capability. Have a long way to go.
I never had any experience with a pet cat. There were a lot of street cats where I grew up. Lots.
You hope to have your own Cafe and Bistro, as in one business?
My latest minimal socialization has been going to an enclosed dog park where dogs can run around unleashed. Strange thing though, I find myself moving away from the few people there. I think that the social advantage at the taproom and the Winery was, well, the 🍷.
Yes, you will, or better say, you are in the process of figuring it out.
I like your positive attitude and maturity, Robi. You are the bee’s knees, if I may say so, meaning positively unique 👍
🐕🚶♀️Anita
June 17, 2026 at 5:13 pm in reply to: Who’s Here—Really? A Gentle Roll Call for Our Tiny Community #458690anitaParticipantHi Nycartist 😊
Thank you for answering and I’m glad you’re here regularly, posting sporadically and lurking.
Also, thank you for your kind words 🙏
I wish I could read from more lurkers.
I am glad that you haven’t had issues to resolve for quite some time 🙏
💛 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Lisa:
Thank you for the first part. I really resonate with feeling beneath others and interpreting people’s behavior as mocking or looking down on me. It’s only recently that I made some progress with that.
Reading your post today, I realized how much we actually have in common. I don’t think I fully saw it before. Maybe I was keeping a bit of distance from my own pain by focusing on other people’s struggles. But what you wrote touched something very familiar in me.
What you described at work makes so much sense — when you’ve been hurt before, even small things can feel like danger, and your body reacts before you have time to think. And afterward, you’re the one who sits with the guilt and the replaying. Nothing in what you wrote sounds like a bad person. It sounds like someone who was open‑hearted when she was young, got hurt too many times, and learned to stay on guard.
That kind of constant awareness is exhausting, and anyone would feel worn down by it. You’re not alone in this, and nothing about what you described makes you unworthy or “beneath” anyone!
✨️🌿✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantDear Christi,
I’m sorry for the delay — I’m not feeling well this morning and my mind is slow. Like you, I woke up early, sometime after 5, and I’m having trouble focusing. So, I’ll keep this simple.
Reading everything you shared, it seems like part of what pulls you back to the land is the world that once lived there — your parents, being their child, the safety and belonging that filled those years. The place holds all of that. It’s almost like an old photograph that brings back a whole moment in time. You can feel the peace and connection in it, and that’s real.
You wrote: “When I visit, something in me settles. My soul feels at peace there… When I’m home on 5 acres of beautiful land, there is a deep sense of peace and connection that I don’t find anywhere else. I feel homesick when away from my childhood home.”
And at the same time: “Sometimes when I’m in my hometown, I feel homesick. Not for another place exactly, but for a version of home that no longer exists… When I’m there, I sometimes feel homesick for the urban life.”
That mix makes sense. A photograph captures a real moment of love, family, and belonging — which mirrors what you said the house represents — but it’s also frozen in time. You can look at it, feel it, ache for it, but you can’t step back into the life it shows. The land brings back what mattered, and it also reminds you of what isn’t alive in the same way anymore.
You’re doing something wise by taking your time. You’re letting both the emotional pull and the practical part of you speak. And maybe, as you keep listening, more clarity will come — not all at once, but gently.
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning, Christy! Working on a reply
anitaParticipantTo be exact, it was completely dark here in Sedro‑Woolley, WA tonight at 9:54 PM, which is when last light ended. Sunset was at 9:14 PM. Still light.
anitaParticipantI will reply further in the morning, Christy
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