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Archie

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 29 total)
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  • in reply to: Help would be appreciated #69713
    Archie
    Participant

    Hi!
    It is evident that you’ve experienced quite a lot, both emotionally as well as socially. It’s good to know that you’ve got a nice opportunity to establish a secure career for yourself. Although I won’t be able to give you any suggestions because I haven’t experienced the world as much as you have, but I would definitely like you to ask yourself if your dream is worth the price you will pay if you choose to follow it? Or how important is this job for you? Is it that important that you will be able to give up your life-long dream? This may confuse you further about this entire situation, but eventually you will have to take a decision. Which one of these two is more important to you? Only you know the answer to this question. Suggestions from others will complicate your decision further. Whether you choose this job or your dream, your life won’t stop. In fact, it will open new doors according to the choice you’ve made. So choose wisely. All the best!

    in reply to: Uncertainty in transitions and changes #69705
    Archie
    Participant

    Hello Lily!
    First of all, I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. I am about to graduate with an honors degree in English literature, coming July. As I read your post, I realized this is exactly me. I mean I tried very hard to get into literature after I had got selected for an engineering as well as a med-school. And I chose literature because I love art. Of every sort. And at that time, I didn’t care if I would ever be as successful as I could have been had I chosen the other two options. Luckily, I have been doing good in my studies and plan to pursue a masters degree. But since the last few months, I have been having doubts. What exactly is that I need? A secure job that pays me well? Or those things that I have always wanted? As I dig further into my mind, I find that most of those things require a good financial backing (like, I have always wanted to travel the world and meet new people but now that seems a very, very expensive dream to me). Everyone around me suggests that I prepare myself for the civil services exams after my masters so that I can get one of the most respectable and top notch position as a bureaucrat. They say I have the potential to do it, and say why waste my years on getting a PhD and becoming a mere teacher. I know nobody is forcing me to actually do all this but I have now come to a situation where I sometimes doubt my own dreams and decisions so much that I start planning my life the way they suggest me to. And they are the people who want the best for me and I must say that they have a point. But after hours and days of contemplation over my ‘alternative’ plans, I come back to the same old me, who can’t let go of her dreams. This is the reason why I get annoyed every single time someone asks me what am I planning to do after my graduation.
    I am scared to face the world. I try to hide my talents, my personality and my feelings behind my ‘confident’ self that everybody seems to admire.
    I am sorry to burden you with my own baggage but I could totally feel what you must be feeling while I read you post. Yes, you are completely making sense. And I don’t know why, but it just felt right to share my stuff with you. there is one more thing that I would like to share. I don’t know if I am doing the right thing or not but slowly and gradually, I am making myself accept the fact we don’t know what the future holds for us. Choices are completely relative. Whether we choose what we want or we choose what we need, we can never for sure know what will be the end of it. Because life never stops changing. Dreams that have come true can turn into adversities whereas adversities can become a reason for us to go on living and attain a better life. The best thing is to deal with the things that are immediately in front of us. And when there are tough choices to make, we should remember that we will have to miss one or the other thing close to our hearts. It’s possible that we may never come across the thing that we let go, but life offers numerous other things that will eventually become important to us. Hope you understand! All the best! 🙂

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by Archie.
    in reply to: divorce, sadness and the long road to recovery #64829
    Archie
    Participant

    Dear Kate,
    Please don’t be so sad. You don’t deserve to be sad. You are very brave and strong because you gave up the securities that life had to offer you for the one person who was your love. But you not should give up on life just because that person abandoned you. You still have yourself! You are a very beautiful person who is capable of nurturing others on your own account. So why don’t you start loving and nurturing the most important person in your life- yourself! Take it as a new beginning. I know that you have been scarred for life. But these scars should be your inspiration.
    I know it’s very easy to put such advices in words but atleast you can try! I don’t know much about the world and relationships the way you do but I hope you see a new day with lots of sunshine and opportunities! Stay blessed!

    • This reply was modified 10 years ago by Archie.
    • This reply was modified 10 years ago by Archie.
    in reply to: Forgiving a friend and continuing friendship? #64638
    Archie
    Participant

    Dear Alana,
    I may not be the best person to judge you but since you seem to be quite depressed I would like to give you an advice.
    As you have mentioned that it was you who kept on insisting that you hang with Anna, the problem may be a little space that Anna might be in need of. It’s totally okay on your part to be depressed about the behavior that your best friend has towards you. But probably she herself has some issues that she might not want to discuss with you at this moment. You should probably give her some time and try to hang out with your other friends. And if it’s possible, then you should try ask her peacefully as to what her problems are.
    Be Happy!
    (Please don’t mind my grammar. English isn’t my first language)

    in reply to: Forgiving a friend and continuing friendship? #64637
    Archie
    Participant

    Dear Alana,
    I may not be the best person to judge you but since you seem to be quite depressed I would like to give you an advice.
    As you have mentioned that it was you who kept on insisting that you hang with Anna, tue problem may be a little space that Anna might be in need of. It’s totally okay on your part to be depressed about the behavior that your best friend has. But probably she herself has some issues that she might not want to discuss with you at this moment. You should probably give her some time and try to hang out with your other friends. And if it’s possible, then you should try ask her peacefully as to what her problems are.
    Be Happy!
    (Please don’t mind my grammar. English isn’t my first language)

    in reply to: Sharing pain #53438
    Archie
    Participant

    There are times in life when we have no choice than to dwell on that one thing which seems to be an answer to everything. And when we have to part with it, we are filled with a void that seems quite unfathomable. Even if the parting might have been for our own good, we don’t really want to move ahead.
    It seems to me that whatever you felt was lacking in your relationship wouldn’t have been big enough to break the love you had, because you still want him. Wouldn’t it be better that you talk to this guy about how you feel? If not a relationship like the one before, you can surely have one based on understanding..

    in reply to: What is love? #53113
    Archie
    Participant

    Thank you very much Matt for your insight! Namaste!

    in reply to: What is love? #53090
    Archie
    Participant

    Sometimes there is a fear that lurks in our hearts that constantly asks the question ‘what if..’. This fear of the unknown (also the irrelevant most of the times) gets so much ingrained in our minds that we start to build a shield that drives away every possible chance that might come in our way. We try to reject that chance before its outcome rejects us (or accepts us). And this feeling is so strong that it gets very hard for us to come out of it. But perhaps time is really the solution to most of our problems.

    in reply to: New Self #53069
    Archie
    Participant

    It’s really good to know that you have found something to inspire you. Communication has a miraculous healing power. All the best!!

    in reply to: What is love? #53067
    Archie
    Participant

    Thanks for your interpretation of my dilemma. I would also like to add that I never loved that guy. I did care for him as he was the closest I had to a best friend. But I never loved him. What I don’t understand and loathe about this whole situation is the way I distanced him. At that time, I couldn’t bring myself to imagine that my friend could have such feelings for me. Though I understand it now that what I thought and did was wrong, I just couldn’t accept him at that time. Since then, for some unknown reason, I have never been in a serious relationship. Be it romantic or at a level of friendship.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Archie.
    in reply to: What is love? #53061
    Archie
    Participant

    ‘Love’ as in ‘agape+eros”

    in reply to: What is love? #53058
    Archie
    Participant

    It is pretty obvious that love has its own set of different connotations, based on the relationships we share with people. But the bottom line in every case is a foundation that comprises of care, respect and understanding- regardless of the relationship. What I fail to understand is the exaggeration that the term ‘love’ has become and what it does to people (ref. to Romeo and Juliet 🙂 )

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Archie.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Archie.
    in reply to: Symbolism #53050
    Archie
    Participant

    Your search for the lost ring. For your marriage. Or for the spark that once kindled your love. The ring had it all, that thrown out ring. Now you have to retrieve it back. To show your husband that the marriage is still on. So is your love. Reflecting a splash of multi-coloured memories. Hope you find it back..

    in reply to: An observation about the mind #52994
    Archie
    Participant

    I am having a deja vu moment here. Anyway, the fact of the matter is, the choice is purely ours- to take a step forward and plunge into our fear, or to stay in the darkness with it. 🙂

    in reply to: Anxiety Setback #52992
    Archie
    Participant

    You should try to talk about your problems to someone close to you. Perhaps they can help you to keep a check on your anxiety. Talk to your father, or your friends for that matter. Since they are involved in your life in some way, they can surely understand you better.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Archie.
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 29 total)