Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
Arie1276ParticipantHi Anita
It has been 44 days. Last time we saw each other was sunday.
Arie1276ParticipantHi Anita
I was never neglected or rejected as a child. I came from a very loving home.
my question to you is how do I go about talking to him to get him to open up to me without me coming off as annoying and without pushing him away. I want to help him. I do truly love him and care about him. I want him to get closer to me again. I’m just numb and don’t know how to understand any of this. I don’t understand how a person can go from wanting a relationship to not being sure of wanting one in a matter of seconds and being depressed.Arie1276ParticipantAnita
I read your reply. You are right about the anxious attachment. His DUI wasn’t from a drinking problem. His ex gf at the time was not supposed to be drinking, but she did and he drank not knowing she was drinking because she was supposed to be his DD. In fact he doesn’t drink after that incident at all now. I never knew he suffered from depression until now. I am not sure if it is the depression talking to if it is really him talking. I don’t have much experience with depression and an abusive parent like he has.
We had a real and deep meaningful connection and relationship until recently. How do I go about texting him or calling him in a way that will not make him run away from me and what do i say one last time then i will go about my seperate way and focus on myself until he decides to reach out to me , if that.
Arie1276ParticipantNow he doesn’t want to see me. He wants to be left alone. I am completely devastated. He doesn’t want to open up to me. He told me he needs to get his mind together. I asked him again to come see him tonight. He again said he just wants to be left alone and he also said he honesty needs to think if he’s even ready for a relationship. I told him how could he even think that after everything we had talked about including our future. He just told me he is in a depressed state, mentally just not in a good spot and to get himself together and told me i didn’t do anything wrong. I told him i get it and that im there for him, and no need to shut me out when we are already are in a relationship, and how sick to my stomach i am over this. I asked him if he is still coming to my place this weekend and he said one day at a time. I again asked him for me to come tonight so we can talk and he told me he just wants to be left alone. He told me its not fair and for me to let him deal with his own crap and needs to be left alone for awhile. I told him just know that i do love you and im here for you and im not going any where. He replied ok cool I just need to be alone for awhile. Does this mean he broke up with me or just does it mean we are together or what? I am so confused, hurt and numb by all this. He wont open up to me. I literally dont know what to do here! Part of me jus wants to go to his house tomorrow night and surprise him regardless. Im so confused and hurt.
It all began when i was there sunday and his mom literally yelled at him about everything and was calling him names. You name it she was calling him everything and told him he can come live with me and she will lock him out of he house. Every since then , he turned completely around on our relationship. He lives with his mom and his sister. His mom is cruel. I try not to judge people cause noone is perfect. But i felt so awkward and uneasy there that day. He apologized later for actions. But again, ever since then…….he changed.
He is also into S&M stuff as to where as i am not. That seems to bother him too. I expressed my feelings about it. He seemed to be ok with it at the time. He did mention it when we talked yesterday about that was one of things that was bothering him too. He lost his license cause of a DUI from his ex gf at the time which was months ago and hasn’t had time to finish his last 3 classes in due to his work schedule and it will take some time after that to get his license back. I told him i didn’t mind driving until he got it back.
I am at a loss. My heart is broken. All i want is for us to be together. Any suggestions or has anyone been through a similar situation?
Arie1276ParticipantAnita
I did eventually call him that evening because I couldn’t take it any more of him not replying to my texts. I was surprised he answered. I asked him if he was ok and how he was doing. He asked me what was up. I told him I was waiting to talk to him. He said he is just really tired and was trying to unwind by playing a game on his phone . He proceeded to tell me how irritated it is when customers come in the place he works at last minute when they are about to close. They have him working 7 days a week unless he asks for a day off. He was also saying it’s everything all piling up at once. He said he needs his license back and he’s tired of working a dead end job. I told him I meant what I said via text that I’m here for him and how much I love him. I told him I can come see him tomorrow night and he said ok. I asked him if we are ok and he said yeah he guesses but yeah we are ok. I told him I loved him and he said it back to me. He wanted to get back to his game to unwind and then go to bed. After our conversation I still felt uneasy . I guess once I see him and talk to him more things will he ok I hope. Then I texted him before I went to bed. I told him I was going to sleep and that I loved him and to have a good night. He read it but didn’t respond. Him not responding made feel uneasy I don’t like feeling like that at all. When I see him how do I ask him to open up to me without pushing him away or making him feel even worse.
Arie1276ParticipantAnita
thank you for your response. I did basically tell him that. But i am an over thinker and think the worst. I don’t want to lose him at all. I reached out to my close friend and she told me the same thing to give him time. Things were going so well that’s the confusing part that I don’t understand. Then to send me ❤️😘 those emojis. Does that mean he loves me and we are ok or what ? I’m just so confused and am upset by all of it knowing that he knows we both don’t hold nothing back.
Arie1276ParticipantAnita,
Thank you for your reply. I should not care what he does for a living. But even if he was rich and successful, people will judge anyways because they would think we were snobbish and too rich for them to be around us. Either way , can’t win. His job is not permanent, but I’m worried that if we want to have a future together, he would need to find something better. And how would I go about talking to him about that without putting him down? He knows I make more than him.
Arie1276ParticipantYes . This is a different guy. I was seeing him few weeks before I knew the last one was ending. I realize now how I want to be treated which is like a queen. This guy absolutely adores me. We are basically inseparable. Yes I know maybe too soon. But this feels right. And I do honestly really like this new guy . We are very open to how we feel with each other. But I’m afraid what my family may think of his job.
Arie1276ParticipantThank you for your reply. You are right. After re reading what I wrote , and reading your reply… it’s time to let him go. He doesn’t care about me at all and that hurts. If he cared he would not be playing me like a fool.
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 