My apologies to any I may have offended. To me awakening has to be worked upon to bring it to maturity. Hearing the lack of guidance and pitfalls, it does not align with all that I learned about awakening to the truth of ones nature. The experience of the mind fallen away. The sense of being whole like finding one’s head was attached to one’s body all the time one was lost.

Ones last thoughts are usually generate thru the Karma. What one sows is what one reaps. If you plant an orange tree then an orange tree will grow. If you live by the sword then you will die by the sword. Of course this then brings in the questions about free will and predestined determination of actions or predetermined destiny.

No simple thought will determine whether one is re-born a man or bug or animal or amoeba. That is part of Karma. If you want to know how you got here then look at where you were. If you want to know where you are going then look at where you are. The only constant is that all things will change. And there is a cycle to everything. Look at the universe and you can see the truth.

Just wondering what Shakespeare said, … Nothing is good nor evil but thinking makes it so.

Buddha once related a story of a village of the blind. Rumors were that the next village would attack with elephants. Not knowing what an elephant was, they had someone bring them an elephant to discover what is an elephant. Three blind men went to discover what an elephant truly was. One man said it was like a big flap of cloth as he felt the ear of the elephant. And, another said it was like a rope as he felt the tail. The third man said it was like a heavy column as he felt the leg of the elephant. Enlightenment is like discovering an elephant. First glimpse, of the truth is not the whole truth. And enlightenment has many depths. Like shining a flash light into the deepest dark space. It only illuminates that which it shines upon. There is much to discover. Bliss is not the goal. Stepping into the dog poop is part of Karma when one is part of the cycle of life, death and rebirth. Sorry, think I read this somewhere??

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.

Well, you asked for other’s opinions?? Let us look at the situation. Alone. Head injury. Covid-19. Isolation. Question: Where does the mind go for relief? Looking at options. Death? Drugs?? A past love??? I am glad you found relief in yourself and your memories. You acted upon your emotions and thoughts. If it does not turn out the way you want then can you move forward? If you dwell in the past then will it cloud your mind and trap you in suffering? I hope you find yourself.

If one is open to love then is one seeking love? If one is open to love then will one find love?

I use love as an example cause I find love to be real. Where as, hate or anger is not real. When hate or anger comes up, it comes at first as urges and then get supporting thoughts to bolster its stay in the mind and body. Love just is.  There is no need of thoughts to supports its stay in the mind. Is love desires or wants? Personally, I do not believe true love is. But, have seen many levels. Maybe I am just a wishful thinker.

Note: Have not had much sleep lately. So please do not cross examine me upon these words I posts. Just a sleepy man.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.

The problem with seek and you shall find … is .. for example when the US government went looking for reds or communist party. It was called the red scare. When people in the government thought there were dangerous people aligned with communism. They black balled them. Created a wave of terror. All because they were looking for communists. And so they found them. Look for a devil and you will find one whether or not it is really the devil. McCarthyism. There is a trap to go looking for something. Because if you are looking for something then you just may find it in one form or another. Here is a common warning, be aware of history or one will repeat it. The good and the bad.

When living life, do you really want to become indifferent? Detached from the world? Yes, Buddha said to be in the world not of the world. If one is conscious and mindful then one will be engaged with life. Have feelings. This is a part of living. When I love, I want to feel love. Not detached from the people I love. With a clear mind and full of attention, live life’s every moment fully. If something sad happens then feel sadness. Not dwell in the sadness. Not be overwhelmed by such things.

If one is living with thoughts and sense of self then where does the ego not reside? Enlightenment is not all about sitting in the mountains with bliss on one’s face. Letting go of the ego is letting the mud clear from the waters. Then one can see clearly to all depths. It is with wisdom and compassion that one lives in freedom of the ego. Sorry, again, just rambling. It is late and there only the noise in my head. Must be time to just sit.