Oh, I forgot to mention, my mom did not speak English very well. And the dementia made English even more difficult for her. She couldn’t communicate her feelings or her needs to the staff. Towards the end, she spent more time sleeping than awake.

Wow, that is a lot of tragedy for one person to go thru. I am sorry for such sorrow. What can one do to forget and not have to bring up memories of bad stuff? If you find out then let me know. I have a memory of a day with my high school girlfriend. It went terrible and she broke up with me. I go back to that day in my mind and go thru what I should have done. What I could have done. Anything to make me not feel this way. And this memory pops up everyday.  Oh, I found her thru the internet and called her up. We talked but I am still haunted by my memory of that day. She since has passed away from lung Cancer.

I know this sounds easy, forgive. Forgive them and forgive yourself. This will lighten the load on your heart. I have spent much time sitting in meditation. The time spent just sitting and watching my breath has helped me. Helped me to understand myself. It has let me know that I can choose to identify with my thoughts or not to be swept away by my thoughts. It allows me to let go of the memory of that day. I do not have to relive it over and over again. Regret? Sure, why not. Something I did or did not do?? Doesn’t matter anymore. Love? Just a feeling?

I try to practice being here and now. Watch people’s actions and their intentions. It isn’t what they say that matters. It is what they do (their actions) and their intentions when they do it. If you found out your SO or whatever is bad mouthing you, then did you ask why they do that? Ask why they feel the need to hurt you? Make them understand that they are hurting a person. Not just an insignificant person. But, someone they are suppose to care for?

Yeah, listen to Anita. She has been here helping people for almost forever. She is good. “god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Call it what you will, it is the practice that takes one away from where we stand to enter the stream and finally to cross over.

What did the blonde say to the other blonde across the river? 1st blonde: How did you get across the river? 2nd blonde: Don’t be silly. You are already there.

I can’t believe I have said that.  Really guess rude. But not angry. May be too full of myself?? Eh, who know?? I love that feeling at arriving home. Step out of the vehicle and feel at home. I guess that what one feelings are like. Loosing it all just to having it click in just in the nick of time. The urgency stops. Quietly.

What’s the old saying? ShLt or get off the pot. It doesn’t do you any good to keep getting no. If it were me then sex is a must happen if you want kids. If no sex then there is no marriage. Two people wanting different things will end in divorce.

I thought it was a serious part of marriage. Of course, there are different types marriages. But, 99 percent have sex involved???

What is meditation? Sitting without a thought?

Meditation is the process of returning that which is out of order back to order. For example,  you have foot but you do not know how to use a foot. Unaware of its presence to your body. Then suddenly you become aware. you use the foot. wow. Something new? No, you have always had it. When you find your true self, it will be as finding out you have a foot that you were not aware of. It is surprising. It was always there. You do not have to achieve enlightenment.

So meditation sets right what we have. When we meditate, we let go of thoughts. We do not try to control them. Let go. Do not attach yourself to them. Do not identify with them. Soon, fewer thoughts. Space between thoughts. You attention is now more on actions and intentions. Maintaining awareness, mindfulness. One pointed attention, concentration. Emptiness and stillness. You learn the real you is not the reflections of all that has been in front of your awareness. Your practice grows and you keep the the mental defilements out. Grace. They call that going into the stream. Some call it Kensho.

Some never get that far. Others stay in the beginning. And there are yet others who move from one method to another. It is all a dance to find the truth. If you are fascinated with Zen then do not stay stuck on the finger pointing to the moon. Look up and find yourself. How do I meditate? With all your heart and spirit. Enjoy the journey.

It took quite a bit of practice for me to understand how my mind works. That those thoughts came up but not alone. Emotions, fears, identity, attachments. Yes, we become attached to those memories and feelings. We roll them over and over again in our minds. Meditation practice allows us to regain control. To reset the order of the mind so we are in control.  Yes, those thoughts and feelings will return, the trick is to let them go. Do not react. Do not attach yourself to them. Do not identify with them. Then, your mind will return to seeing your actions and their intent. Your awareness will grow. And soon, those thoughts will not plague you. They will come and they will go. No attachment. Then you will be able to feel anew. Me?, I am still working on it. I know the work ahead. Just keep at it and life will get better. Wishing you the best. Hoping that you will find in yourself that which exist in all of us.