No one knows you better than you. However, yours is a viewpoint from only one side. Seeing you at 31 being engaged and about to be married, you now have feelings of distrust and don’t know what to do about it. Lie- leave or stay? I can only ask you if you are happy? Are you happy? Are you happy being with this man or not? He will not make you happy. You must find happiness in yourself first. Then, his presence will compliment your happiness. If you are not happy then his presence will only make for more grist for the mill. You then will only grind out more drama. If you do not think you can get over these deceptions then maybe it is time to be alone? Maybe you do not want to be alone? Can you survive a collision with yourself? I wish you well. And hope you find the happiness you deserve.

What was described in the first post are the steps involved with beginning meditation. There literally thousands of ways to meditate. Some bring immediate help and relief from stress. Others do nothing but help one fantasize. There is relaxation and release of thoughts. There is one pointed meditation. There is meditation on words or mantras. And many others.

Some people meditate for relief of stress. Others look for enlightenment. What is the purpose of your meditation? What are you looking to do? Goal? How one meditates depends on what is one’s aim. And, if there is no aim then that is also an aim.

There are plenty of people who can give you advice based upon what you said or not said. Plenty of Youtube videos. Instructions abound. All you have to do is choose.

Men instinctively want a woman who is not seeing more than one person at a time. And since she hid the fact she had a sugar daddy, whether there was sex or not, it was like a betrayal. You could not hide your disappointment by not testing her good nite. That was you rejecting her. She read your feelings. And saw that there was no way you could get over it. You having made a decision to stay with her. She rejected you. She is not going to give up someone with money and who can give her things she wants along with experiences that comes from having plenty of money. Remember her suggestion that you could sleep with other women?

To answer your question, you presented your feelings even though you do not think you did. She, having a clear mind, also made the decision to end it. Her situation is not what you are looking for and will cause more issues in the future.

You’re lucky to have met someone who gave you a chance. Now you live and love. It is time to grow.

Yes, living in social groups, gives opportunity for others to have intentions or good or harm. But, their intentions are not your intentions. It is not you sowing nor reaping. It is theirs. When a person causes you injury, your anger and thirst for revenge becomes peaked. They sow harm and harm returns to them. That is living this life. Buddha said that life is dukkah (suffering). Some say that the life we live in now is because of our previous Karma. Whether it is or not, I do not know.

Doubt, compassion and wisdom are all about walking the eightfold path outlined by the Buddha. Although they do not use words like doubt. I use doubt as not believing, not putting the proper effort in, not having faith, not able to see the truth. Compassion and wisdom, being able to see the truth of a situation and being willing to help as one can.

Thinking of one’s life as a freshly fallen snow. Then someone walks thru our life and leaves a trail. We want our life to be back to that first fresh snow fall. But, we can not. The more we push snow into the foot prints then more we mess up the fresh snow. If we try to avoid looking at it then we hide the truth from ourselves. But, if we accept the foot prints and allow it to be then the next snow fall will brighten up the snow again. Moving past it we will see fresh snow again. If we hold onto the hurt caused by others then the more we hurt ourselves. So finding forgiveness provides a release from holding onto this hurt. It does not mean to forget. It does not mean to be as before. It means it will not have a hold on you. I do not have access to give you which will free you from this hurt and pain. No one can just give one instructions to free oneself from hurt. Only you can. I wish you well.

Note: Yes, the analogy falls apart. Just like in life, when we go down to smaller and smaller details, the laws that govern our world do not quite apply.

Since we do not know the specifics of why these people want to assault you, we can not give advice to action to prevent more assaults. You should consider removing yourself from those situations somehow. May be even think about calling police. Get order of protection.

Karma is a big subject filled with many opinions. Many books are written about it. Who is right? IDK. My opinion (please do not hate on me for my opinion) is that what you sow is what you reap. Plant an apple tree then an apple tree will grow. It can not become an orange tree. Read somewhere if you live by the sword then you will die by the sword. Now, others think karma is an outside force that creates justice. Like, hurt someone intentionally and the universe will hurt you back. For me, there is no agency to dispense justice. Justice is a human idea. For me, karma is wrapping your essence around others. If you are kind then kindness returns to you. If you are cruel then cruelty will be returned to you. What you sow is what you reap.

Donating money does not remove karma. Clearing karma (true karma, in my opinion) requires one to remove doubts and live the life of compassion and wisdom. Living in this way will bring you mental peace. Compassion is not just empathy. And wisdom is not just knowing stuff.

Your obligation of forgiveness? Your obligation is to try to let the hate or any emotions associated with these assaults … let them go. Sometimes it requires us to forgive so we can move forward and away from these ties. This is not an easy task.

I hope you take appropriate action to protect yourself from harm. And that you can find a happier future.

Love is a beautiful thing. Having had a first love then you know it cuts the deepest. The second love is wonderful. But, you have this feeling of possibly being alone again. So, you go forward cautiously. Nagging doubts. Conflicting feelings and thoughts that follows those feelings. It would have been wonderful to meet the right person the first time. But, nothing is perfect.

Why can’t you talk honestly about your feelings and get honest response from your partner in this merry-go-round? It is good to be able to feel love. But better to share it. You might need to let him know you were hurt before and need this to be real. You gotta be able to talk.

About the boy 1, he is the past. Be friendly but don’t be friends. Let him go and continue with your life. You might need closure but it will never be enough to mend your heart.

80% of divorce is initiated by the woman. And many women say that they feel they left the marriage long before they get the divorce. Then, many also say they are not exactly happy after the divorce.

Feelings of wanting a better life is not new. Everyone wants something better. More things to do. Have that feeling of being excited and alive. Some go for it. Grass is greener. Then regret.

Life is a journey. Ever sit in a car on a long road trip? It is only when you stop that you can stretch and feel better. Sitting in the car with only your thoughts, it can make one anxious and crazy.

So, What is the answer? What are we suppose to do? Well, we can not expect some to fulfill our needs and desires. Make us happy. If you’re not happy with yourself then probably won’t happen. Make yourself happy. Do things that bring joy. Personally, I like talking to people and listening. Hope you find what you’re looking for.

Sounds sort of like culture of west Asians where the female children are treated worse than their male counterpart. Humiliation and insults are used to control the mind of the child. To always depend upon the parents (father). Matrimonial dowry is part of the culture. And the if the female doesn’t bring enough to satisfy the man and his family then the woman is treated even worse. I am sorry if I am wrong for what I say may hurt you.

In order to escape this constant cycle of being belittled and depending upon your father, one must free oneself from the trappings of the culture. Take your money back. Keep your wages to yourself. If asked for it then say the company is cutting back and cutting salary. That you are lucky to keep your job. I the job is too connected to your father then find a different j0b. You have to find it within yourself to see a problem and then know there is a way to conquer it. This comes from practice. You pick something and work thru it until you are on top and winning. When you have accomplished several victories, you will know when you can move away from this poisonous condition and free yourself.

I am not telling you to do anything illegal or to fight. Just to take control of your life. Find it in yourself to be the courage you need to move forward. Otherwise find a way to be happy living in the same situation. I do not know where in the world you live. So, I do not know if there is help for you. May be government help? Or community help? I wish you the best. Good luck.