I wish I had words to lift the heart break and to bring sense to this situation. Unfortunately, my words would only be harsh. Since, I can only see time spent apart. Trust was broken and love was dashed. Feeling do not just change but conditions do. Sorry, it is time to move on and heal.

If told that one’s true love is with child and you have not had relations with her then what is it that makes a man stand up for the woman? Is it love? Compassion? Or wisdom??  Truth is all three. The third being the toughest to manifest.

I hear people cheering for the original poster. And the sympathy laid about for her terrible situation. Similar situations and stories are thrown about. Often, the child grows up to be just like the mother. And often that is the curse cast upon the child that they will have children of their own.

There is a way to compassionately deal with a toxic mother. It requires that one understands to one’s deepest core the truth of the situation. Understand the roles that everyone plays. To be sane and stronger than the wind being blown upon ones face. This compassion and wisdom will not show itself before this.

I have only met a few who have gone thru this type of experience without the help of a teacher. They become obsessed with their experiences and lose their sense of what is real and what to believe is normal. These experiences can be unsettling and pull one away from those who surrounds one. The opening of the mind’s eye can come with disturbing images which one does not understand. It can come with messages that is apparently a warning. None of which the person under going these experience can understand or comprehend correctly without a certain knowledge and help. A swimmer lost in an eddy or whirl pool, fighting to survive the current. Please find yourself a teacher. Private talk. Find the balance in your life to bring about the wisdom and compassion for a full life. Good luck.

That is so nice. People trying to define enlightenment. Spent many years chasing that. Dropped that and now it is all good. Still looking for the answer to “What is MU?”

[quote quote=420657]I suppose I had visions of what being a grandparent would be like from how my own mother was/is with my kids. I have 3 grandchildren under 3. I see my daughter’s 2 a couple of times a week but I hardly see my son’s beautiful girl. She spends a lot of time with her maternal granny – I work full time and am tired alone but my son & his partner dont seem to consider me at all. How do I stop my self-talk that tells me I’m not as loved, needed wanted or adequate? All I can feel is that I’m not good enough and question how it’s not like I’d imagined. It makes me really sad when I see social media posts of what great days out they’ve had together, etc.[/quote]

I know this comes a bit late. Your desire to have a good relationship with your son is the beginning. The self-talk are excuses for not changing the situation. Causes find conditions and produce the effect you see. Motivate yourself to be part of their lives and they should become more open to you. Trust and friendship and love are not built in a day. Although it takes one day to begin.

It is important to now where we come from to understand where we are now. And knowing how we stand now, that leads us to knowing how the future will stand with us. You will need to talk with someone who knows you well.

Marriage doesn’t just fall apart. It takes two people to fall in love and one to let it disappear. The cause is within you. Change and the world will change too. Stay as you are now and the momentum of events will guarantee future events as you see them. Change and the difference will arise in both persons.

I am sorry I can not help. If you are lost because you feel your spirituality is taking over your thoughts and life is falling behind,… then where is this spirituality taking you. To a happier place. To Nirvana? Sometimes spiritual awakening comes with lost of the sense of self. Thought hold off and emotions runs over. There becomes a lost of balance. Spiritual awakening must come with a balance of opening of the mind and wisdom and compassion.

Drugs may at first bring one’s mind to see the possibility of change or different level of consciousness. However, prolonged use deters one’s awareness from continuing to grow. One becomes dependent upon the effects of the drugs. Many who use drugs to find their spirituality often lose it after prolonged use of the drug. The drug provides calm and laziness. While spirituality is a personal struggle with oneself to find ones true nature. Of course, only my opinion.

Can understand being uncertain about a relationship. And the after effects of being broken up. At first one wants the relationship. Then when things get tight and the relationships moves further into the next steps, there is a pull back. Fear or whatever one calls it, it pulls at one’s mental state. It can have real physical effects. The falling out of the bottom of the stomach. An empty feeling that becomes vast and void. Or just pain. Causing a break up. Then regrets fills the void made by the break up. Then day in and day out there is the thoughts of all the good times and all the bad times. Never ending. Whenever there is a moment to reflect, the mind and heart pulls one back to those times. Stuck in a loop.

Where does happiness begin and how do we know it is right? It begins with laughter. And, we never know it is right until time passes by. I married my wife and chose to stick it thru everything (with certain exceptions). Being together means to make that choice and stick with it. Arguments will be plenty. But, so will the good times. As long as there is no abuse (physical or mental) then it is right. There will be struggles. But, the one thing I count on is that we have chosen each other and will be there for each other. Even when we disagree about something. The disagreement is not what the relationship is about. The relationship is separate. Remember to forgive is to forget and move forward. I wish you happiness.