Dear Elfie,

No breakups is easy, even when the feelings are mutual. It sounds like you are prolonging the inevitable and it’s really not healthy for everyone involved. It’s a big decision, so take your time. Write down your feelings, search for the reasons behind them. Be very honest with yourself. Once you are clear of the reasons, then just honestly say it for what it is. There are different seasons in our live and just know you are not responsible for another grown up if being with them makes you feel unease. Find your inner strength, it’s there. Write your thoughts down for a while as they tend to circulate in our head when we don’t write them down. Questions every thought. Is it true that it’s this person that makes you feel unease or is it something deeper? Some uneasiness in you that are projecting on this person. Keep asking questions until you come to a clear picture. Hugs.

Dear SC,
For a while, I was pondering over the same thing – “Is this it?” sort of questions, part of me was wanting more even though I know that happiness springs from accepting and embracing reality just as it is. So, it’s an ongoing journey – someday we are more in tune, other days, we are not. And that is another acceptance it itself – that it’s ok that we feel that way. What I’ve been realizing in the last few days has to do with being more accepting of the way things are. Our mind somehow is always wanting something more. What I’ve been doing is just be aware of it and keep practicing acceptance. I’ve been able to accept more and more each day. My thinking is along the line – if there is something more that the universe wants me to experience, it will happen. I notice that when I just keep things simple, e.g. eating healthy, keeping my body strong with yoga, practice stillness with meditation, be kind and understanding to people around me, hang out and listen to friends, focus on work while I am work, go out to where the people are when I feel like connecting, … that’s I am a lot happier and I feel a lot heavier when I ponder too much on the meaning of life and existence. Namaste.

Be her best friend right now is probably one of the best things you can do for her. Take her out to natures, just walk & breath. Nature is very healing. She is experiencing a huge loss in her life. Encourage her to listen to uplifting music. Klove station helped me so much when I was lost. On youtube.com or google, you can search by phrases like “how to deal with loss of a loved one” “how to let go” “how to find inner peace” ” how to find hope when there seems to be none”, …, also, check if there is divorce support group or substance abuse support group locally, they can be life savers.

Dear sadiegirl,
I am not sure if I can be of any help here, but my heart goes out to you. It must be so hard to be with someone negative day in and day out. Let’s hope that it is just a phase and he will grow out of it. As for you, I suggest finding time for yourself. Focus on eating well, get as much rest as you can get. Our mood is very much affected by how we feel physically. That is something we can do – treat ourselves better. Read up on meditation if you haven’t tried it. Give it a try even if you think it’s too strange to just sit quietly and do nothing. There are so many wonderful free videos on youtube.com. You can search with phrases like “meditation music”. A little while ago, I found Mooji on youtube and he really helped me. Also, search for Ralph Smart. He made a video on how to not take on other people’s negative energy. Keep listening and some of these wonderful wisdom will stick. I just know that once you’re more in tune with yourself through solitude and self nourishment, it is a little easier to deal with difficult people around us.We somehow come to an understanding as to why they act a certain way. We see them as lost souls. We start praying for them, and in turn letting go of hurt. They might in turn see the change in us, start to wonder why they don’t have much power over us any more. “What you fight, you give the power to.” Somehow, when you stop fighting something, it has less power over you and the healing cycle gets bigger and bigger. Sending you many hugs. Namaste!

Dear Blusses,
I can relate that this journey is not an easy one. To feel better about ourselves will take some change in our thoughts. Somehow, we need to start to think that there are so much more to us and to life than our relationships. Start searching for topics like “what every happy person know”, “how to be single and happy”, … Also, you had been with this person for a long time, you’ve built attachments, there are certain routines, certain comfort, … And that loss will take a little time to detach from. There are no magic. To not be stuck forever in this feeling, you need to set the right attitude; and start reading & researching toward that goal will help one little bit at the time. You will be alright. Most of us felt in love, had our heart broken, felt like we can’t get over certain someone. And we all eventually got pass that state. Emotions are temporary. It will pass. You have it within you to become a better you – all by yourself and not needing another person to define who you feel. Insights will come to you if you keep believing that you can do it and keep making small steps to get there. Much love to you. Namaste!

Dear Gighi,
Our stories can be totally different, but we all get very trapped in our situation at some point in our life. And it’s hard to see a way out. Hence, a friend who offers a different perspective is always nice. I hope I can do just a little of that today. What I see you in you is lots of potentials. You have dreams. You have abilities. You are just in a difficult living situation right now. Positive thoughts always work when they are coupled with actions and perseverance. You can go out for walks or runs – these physical activities always help keep me in lighter spirit and then more positive thoughts and actions follow. What you have is time and freedom. You have no attachments. You can do whatever you want to do. If you want to travel the world, do that – google “how to travel the world for free” – I remember watching that somewhere. Through this journey, you will probably find many opportunities, many insights, … Embrace some change. I read somewhere that if we don’t make some changes, we can’t expect different result. There is always hope. Be in company of hopeful people, even if it’s just online. You’ve already on a good path reaching out to others here! You have it within you to become the best person you can be. Good luck with your journey. You will be alright if you keep believing that.
Namaste!