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CBParticipantThe only joint asset is our home we have agreed split equity 50 50 so that’s all done I just need to secure a mortgage
But his Mum passing has given him financial security I will not benefit as we are separated but he still wants his equity
After 27 years caring for him and his Mum in surprise it’s gone this way
CBParticipantOh I can stay as long as I buy him out
He’s never been money minded in the whole of our relationship and now he’s asking me to get a big mortgage on my own to pay him off even when he’s going to inherit a large some of money
I can’t believe him I cared and was his mum’s rock as he works long hours did everything for her and now he’s walked away and going to benefit from all her hard work
I didn’t think I could feel shocked again after what has happened but this has floored me
CBParticipantHi yes our family home to be sold where me and my son live in trying to so finances out to stay with my son and buy ex out
But his Mum passed and he’s about to come into large sum money so he’s ok I hoping he wont push me out to enable me to stay in house
My son will stay with me whatever happeneds
CBParticipantI am under no illusions he’s not coming back he gone and I suspect in his mind been gone. while
He will come into a large sum of money due to his mum’s death I could hear his talking to ok son Boy possible places he can buy a new home
How selfish we were together 27 years and last 4 have supported him financially since left not paid a penny to me and living with his sister not paying a penny omg I t do not recognize this .man
I offer my support as I loved mum in so much and felt for myself I needed to do it
And it’s alwAys made me see it’s done after the funeral I go back to no contact in short term I need to protect myself
CBParticipantLast few days have been so hard so ex has all of sudden decided he want to call and text and talk as he’s lost his Mum and not couping he did not call when it happend
I’m so torn as I feel I need to be there for him I loved mum in law so much and my son needs his dad at this time he’s finding it hard. Never lost anyone before
He’s pulling at my heart strings as m still very much in love with this man but he’s only in contact due to his loss has not changed the situation with us but wants me to be there for him so so hard
CBParticipantDon’t ever feel alone this is a great forum no one likes rejection of hurts I’ve recently been through breakup after 27″ years honestly harder ever been through. But you will be ok as I will
April 8, 2020 at 1:22 pm in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #348294CBParticipantThanks all for your kind words m ex mother in law passed today all alone in hospital it’s been devastated and no contact from the ex I spent 27 years loving unconditional y he can’t even contact me on a day like today think it’s made me see I need to be the person who looks after me and start to accept my reality and start living my new life
CBParticipantSo sad my mother in law passed away today
My ex didn’t call his sister did I am completely devastated I loved this women for many years he couldn’t even call me or text I can’t believe he could be so cold. He called our son
My God we were together for such long time how can he just walk away and be so cold
Really struggling
April 7, 2020 at 6:19 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #348078CBParticipantMichelle thanks for your kind words they totally make sense to me and I do need to move forward and start my new life in my own. I think he was thinking about this for a very long time and Covid19 and his Mum being so ill has not made he rethink a thing that says it all
Positive thinking onwards and upwards I deserve better
CBParticipantMy back I have two slipped discs which is very painful I have steroid injections that help but get very bad flare up sometimes I can’t walk due to sciatica. The Menopause omg it’s nasty boy flushes feeling fogging and very hormonal all the time
It’s very very hard
CBParticipantYes this is so true I am mentally and physically exhausted this is because my thoughts are over welcomed by him I can’t stop its all why how could be I can’t close my mind to it it hurts so much and it plays over and over in my mind
CBParticipantAnita I hope that’s true I’ve tried doing mindfulness and keeping myself distracted but I’m so overwhelmed with my feelings at the moment. another in law being so I’ll and having to contact my ex has been. So hard I’ve tried to be the bigger person but it hurts I think my ex not changing his mind on our situation after Covid and the his Mum make me see it’s been over for him for long time I need to really draw a line under it and start so kindness to myself or I will become I’ll I find myself becoming very low since lockdown
CBParticipantAnita I feel im stuck in circle it all just goes round as round my head my ex just can not give me answers he just says for him he thinks it’s over and he wants to be independent and that feels right for him he loves me but need to do this.for him he willing to take that risk. So I need to accept this as I can’t change it it breaks my heart but I don’t want to be stuck and sad i n this constant analizing of what why how and why
Neil thanks for your comments it’s so hard when your partner turns out to be on a different page to you I too struggling with the social aspects as this was all wrapped up with him and his friends I feel very much alone and this current situation and lockdown is so hard I find it very overwhelming I am 49 years old how do you start again make new friends I find the though of it very frightening
April 5, 2020 at 12:52 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #347198CBParticipantHope all you ladies are doing ok I read your threads and think how brave you all are I take a great deal comfort reading them I’m really struggling to come to terms with my split its been 3 months and I still can’t quite believe he left me. for 27 years I’ve devoted myself to him and his family and now that’s all gone this week we agreed financial terms on our family home I can not believe it’s only taken him 12 weeks to moved out move on and sell the family home that’s it were don’t no need further contsc this week mother in law in hospital very unwell won’t be coming home we can’t visit. I reached out to ex and family I love this women like my own mum well nothing didn’t even text back. I’m devastated and feel so alone
CBParticipantAnita I wasn’t not replying to your post it’s been a very emotional few day
Your post really helps me I hope you keep in touch I want to try and move forward and you helped I took your advice and text the family sending my love but they didn’t come back it hurts so much
As for my son I have not used him as a go between I see he has a good relationship with his Dad and the family so it’s all good
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