Dear Annie

I am sorry that your Buddhist meditation group ceased once the founder passed away. Did the group also give dharma instruction as well?

I found sitting with the Quakers* also scratched that itch to be contemplative in the company of others. I facilitate a small buddhist meditation group sometimes there is just me & other times there is about six of us & it too will probably fold when I die.

in our group practice I use Gil Fronsdal 7am guided meditation & talk on you tube for me in general it has the right balance regarding style time length & content.

* Some quaker meetings host lunch after worship bonus on the food front & you get to meet hopefully people who raise your & their energies rather than sapping it.

Going to do gardening therapy now.
Hope you have a good day
Roberta

Dear Eva
You started this thread just over a year ago.
Your last post was 16 Aug 2026 ended with “I genuinely want outside perspective because at this point I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.”
Have the replies that this forum group helped you to grow & be happier in anyway? As far as I can see their replies have consistently been well thought out & caring.
In the arena of No blame, no shame………..You will not get the answers or actions you want form this guy, so the healthiest thing for the both of you is to get out & stay out of this pseudo relationship. Work on any outstanding hurts of your early years first & with luck & perseverance by the time you eventually get round to unpacking this particular relationship, you will hopefully be in a better position to see & deal with any residue.
Tomorrow is another day where you can consciously start to plant the seeds of a happier future. This may sound flippant, but when I remember to set my motivation to work well with my co-workers ( including to learn from them), promote harmony & understanding & to actively listen to my preschoolers/carehome residents. That shift goes much better. ie another little pocket of happiness has been created, which has the potential to ripple out into the wider world both immediately but also far far into the future.
Kind regards
Roberta

Hi confused

I guess getting the balance in relationships can be tricky especially if each party does not state fairly early on about what they feel/think would enhance & or erode a relationship.
So in general ex’s are an ongoing minefield.
Who pays for what & when. ie if you regularly go out for meals together does one go dutch or take turns unless one party specifically states before hand this is my treat.
It can be dull & hardwork if only one person chooses & organizes outings etc especially if there is lack of response or feedback from the other party or if the only feedback is negative.
I hope that any future relationship you have will bring you the right mixture of stability/excitement openness/mystery that you both feel nurtured & the freedom to grow.
kind regards
Roberta

Hi Serene Wolf

Wishing you all the best on your journey into learning to surf the waves of uncertainty so that you can traverse the choppy waters of life rather than getting wiped out.
Looking forward to hearing more from you
Roberta

Hi Tom

I am sorry for you & your wifes loss. I have been there too & I hope that you are both allowing yourself to grieve fully. I unfortunately did not conceive afterwards & even over the years I think oh they would be 5, 19 or fifteen years old.
I hope that you both enjoy your mini trip next month
Roberta

Hi Alessa

Wow that is a big class %0 plus new faces that is a lot to take in. Where I work we have an average of 15 with a minimum of 3 early years paractioners. even then the noise/ busyness level can occasionally get overwhelming for some. We have a quiet corner & those who are particularly sensitive they bring in their own noise cancelling headphones. We often give the children 5/10 min warning around transitions such as snack time or going out to the library, especially if they are engrossed in an activity & they have free access to the garden.
I hope your son soon makes friends with his classmates & that the staff are active listeners who are kind & curious.
Kind regards
Roberta

Dear Kris

You did not give context to her verbal abuse ie did she call you a silly air head, a waste of space???.

For clarity I was addressing the one point in each post to which you had given concrete instances. ie the car episode & the friends episode.
And I did ask you to clarify whether she is blunt & harsh in her exchanges with others this would help me understand whether she kind loving & forgiving of others & just singles you out for the mean treatment.

Just yesterday I was driving my grandson to school when a young child stepped off the pavement right in front of my car. If I had been distracted even for a milisecond that child would have been seriously hurt or died. My grandson now viscerally understands how important it is for me to be able to concentrate

I am definitely not taking sides or trying to dismiss the hurt feelings that you have had over the years. In fact my intentions are quite the opposite. When we are able to at least consider a slightly different slant on something, not necessary all things, there is a chance that the overall hurt might diminish just a smidgen. If your sister is in general horrible to most people then that would take the personal sting out a bit, not that is an excuse for her behavior.
Do you feel/think that you are in coercive relationship with your sister & that she wealds an excessive power over how you live your life?

“Seriously, how can anyone in their right mind criticize someone who’s GRIEVING? ” well my mum told me I had no right to grieve for the father of my children because he was my ex! The people we are close to can be terribly unfeeling.