Hi Peter
welcome back.
Thank you for your thoughtful piece.
Each & everyone of us is in a state of flux bodily, emotionally mentally, how rare & precious is the fleeting moment when we are in rhythm together in the mystical cosmic dance.
Roberta

Hi Nea

I see that you realize that each time you try to soothe your anxiety by bringing up the past with your husband it hurts him & damages your marriage.
A practical way to soothe yours self is to gently rub your tummy & chest in a loving way like how you would comfort your baby & even gently say to yourself hello anxiety my old friend, I hear you. This acknowledges your feelings, but hopefully breaks the chain of thought. You may have to do this a hundred times, but it is a much healthier way than expressing verbally to your husband.
It will not be that long until you are once more in your own home, hang in there.
Best wishes
Roberta

Dear Nea

This is part of what I wrote to you on 22 August……. So please try to remember this each time that nagging thought arises, so that it does not get the chance to damage they way you relate to your husband.

Tiredness & stress means you have less energy to protect yourself from the spiral of negative thoughts & anxiety.
Your husbands desperately needs your love & understanding & support, in regard to your father issue. Then the two of you can be of support to each other. It only takes a moment, each breath we take is an golden opportunity to relax & let go – to reset from flight/fight system to the calm & nurture. In its most simplest form is to breath in say for the count of one & breath out for count of two the next breath breathe in for two & out for 3 then in for four & out for 6 after several of the 4/6 breathing you could experiment with 5/7.

Today I was meditating with some one who’s watch monitors their heart rate, at the beginning it was at 105 at the end of the half our session it was down to 66.

I wish I could wrap you, your husband & baby maya all together in a big blanket of love.
Kind regards
Roberta

Hi Anita

Are you okay? You normally post each day. Hope you are alright.
Kind regards
Roberta

P.s A friend of mine was caring for an old man who had written about & taught higher level teachings, she was there one day when his teacher a rinpoche admonished him for how little he had actually put even the basics of it into practice in real life over the years.

Hi Nea

I am so glad that you will be back in your own home in the very near future. That should make you & your husbands live a lot less stressful. Is it close enough for your mum & sister to be able to visit you easily?

In general I have found men much more reluctant to pick up & hold very small babies – they are worried that they might hold them too tightly or wrong or worse still drop them . One technique is when the man is sitting down, just hand the baby over & say something like “Hold ….. I am just going to make a cup of tea” & then walk out of the room. I dont know whether that technique would be acceptable in your culture.
Roberta

Hi Girija

I am glad that moving to a new team has felt like a clean slate & that you have decided to handle your anxiety in a new & innovative way.
An acquaintance of mine ( who is a bit of a perfectionist) once was told by his therapist “Dare to be mediocre”.
Best wishes
Roberta

Hi Thomas

I remember one of my teachers saying pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
When we reject what is happening, that is when suffering occurs. My mum suffered because she perceived that her body had betrayed her when she got cancer.
On an easy level when I have a cold, I concur that “I have a cold”, but correct them mental chatter that say “I am suffering from a cold”.
Practicing this way with the small things in life, hopefully I will be able to approach lifes bigger challenges in an equanimous way including my own death.
I still get my knickers in a twist about loads of stuff, but I can now more quickly see a broader perspective & am able to laugh at my self, thanks to the buddhist teachings & approach to life.
Roberta