Dear Jana

What a lovely & inspiring thread.  So many people are deeply damaged by their childhood and go down an unhelpful path like alcohol for many years just adding more harm on top of the initial circumstances. Congratulations on all that you have achieved so far. I came across Buddhism in my forties and it has helped me grow and nourish the gentleness inside me everyday since.

I see  from the net that there are about 7,000 Buddhists in your home country and that there are a couple of dharma centres in Prague.  Is it possible for you to check them out in person where you would meet people who are on your wavelength & allow your inner life flourish. As I am unable to get to teachings in person, I enjoy watching offerings from the sangha at Sravasti Abbey in USA and I also did their on line study course which was very enjoyable.

You are gentle being who wishes to be in step with nature and the natural rhythms of life and have few fellow spiritual companions.  The hectic hedonistic Western  lifestyle  is not really conducive to long term happiness, health & well-being, so don’t beat yourself up for not wanting to conform to a shallow life.

best wishes

Roberta

hi Nik

Get out now he is an abuser trying to get you pregnant so to control you. the phrase barefoot pregnant & chained to the kitchen sink comes to mind. He does not treat you as an equal. I too gave up my vow of celibacy for a man it left a big hole in my wellbeing. I did a purification ceremony and retook my vows which I kept for a year to start with and continued this on a rolling process for five years before choosing to stay celibate for the rest of my life.

I hope you find yourself in a safe & nurturing workplace.

Kind regards

Roberta

Dear Jakub

My heart goes out to you. Yet another child who has been let down & deprived of a safe happy childhood by those who should be providing the care & love each & every-being deserves.  I hope that you find a good therapist who specializes in healing the inner child.  You are no way responsible for  what when on in your parents lives when you were a child or later. The voice that tells you that, who’s is it? According to Eckart Tolle the pain body wants feeding & its favorite food is negative feelings.

I find it interesting how we give some thoughts more weight/credence and yet what are thoughts? Some have a very uncomfortable energy. If we think of them like bubbles in a glass of lemonade they appear / arise, there is not alot of difference in size and eventually pop/disappear.

Congratulations on getting your own place, a home, a sanctuary, a place of peace a place to heal & nurture your own well being.

Dear Prudence

What things do you do that brings you joy? ie if you like painting join an art club or art classes this way you will gain confidence in socializing as you will already have something in common this also goes for volunteering  for something that you are interested in.

As your world expands you will meet people who hold the some of the same interests & ideals and this will increase your chances of finding a date.

Good luck

Roberta

Dear Krish

Many things cloud our judgement & these are mostly go by without any awareness that they are active. If one is tired, hungry or need the toilet then their patience is obscured. When we are fearful or come across something that pushes our hurt button we can be come angry. Jealousy clouds gratitude & generosity.

Get to know & trust yourself, as you wish to live a minimalist life it should be easier to become financially independent. You have no control over what others may think of you or say about you ( if you have no contact you do not have to listen to their opinions). Live your life true to your values and you stand a better chance of achieving happiness & satisfaction.

regards Roberta

Hi Taylor

The chances of anyone having an idyllic childhood and no inter-generational trauma/abuse is probably not the norm.

Emotional intelligence has not been proactively taught in schools.  So it is no wonder that it is hard to find a open emotionally balanced relationships in this modern pressurized world.

Look after & heal your traumas. Do things in life that bring you joy, be of service to others- the happier & more content we are the less we will need the “one” to make our lives complete. When we are around thoughtful & caring people the better the chance of encountering somebody to share the highs & lows with.

Kind regards

Roberta

Dear Birds of a feather.

It can be hard when someone we are attached to is no longer part of the same social circle.  Your friend has a new job and he is trying to integrate into a new life set up.  I personally would agree to this meet up in a couple of months and in the meantime enjoy being with your other friends.  I have a friend who comes and goes in my area throughout the year. When we are apart we keep in touch loosely as I know she has a full & interesting life and when we are together we just pick up from where we left off. this routine has worked successfully for both of us for over 5 years now.

Kind regards

Roberta

Dear Carol

Wedding days are always highly emotionally charged and I am sorry that your Aunt’s uncooperativeness  did not make  your special  day go in the way that you envisioned especially after the trauma of a miscarriage. It appears that she has taken the role of “Mother know best”  and does not take into account that you are a grown woman in your own right.

Hopefully you will be so  happily busy with your married life that this incident will quickly loose its sting. The wedding is just one day in the life of a marriage do not let it taint your life.

Wishing you all the best