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faber castell

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Viewing 5 posts - 16 through 20 (of 20 total)
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  • in reply to: Is this abuse? Afraid of breaking up after feeling used #64580
    faber castell
    Participant

    @monklet haha yes, a huge eyeroll indeed, I wish that day I’d had the courage to just eyeroll him, but I just cried and cried in shock and left. Oh well.
    What would make you call this abuse (or not)?

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by faber castell.
    in reply to: Is this abuse? Afraid of breaking up after feeling used #64578
    faber castell
    Participant

    @westonzink3469
    Weston,
    Thank you so much for your words, you are absolutely right, it’s a relief to know that someone else sees this as manipulation as sometimes one gets so caught up in the middle of the situation that its easy to start doubting… as I told Matt the second I read his post just helped me send that text and that was it, but then your post came along and it had real insight as well so I felt much more reassured, he is selfish and egotistical!!!I never said anything else to him, I just asked him to take back his stuff and drop mine and as I say above, I don’t know if I should just leave it at that, I don’t know if that was enough to take my power back? and..do you think this guy is a narcissist?

    Thank you thank you thank you all for taking the time to help a stranger, your kindness and firmness really helped me admit the vile nature in all of this.


    @talkingwithtinybuddah
    I will go easy on myself, and I’m more and more glad everyday to know that I’m not having this ever again.


    @kree
    thank you for your healing thoughts, I hope you also have healed already from the horror it is to be in an abusive relationship.
    Peace and blessings.

    in reply to: Is this abuse? Afraid of breaking up after feeling used #64575
    faber castell
    Participant

    @amatt
    Matt,
    thank for your words, your metaphors and the way you put it just got to my heart and I think you really got it. My lesson here is learning how to slam the door on venomous beings, away from my heart. That day I was really doubtful about what to do, since he had his car here I didn’t know if I better waited for him to come so that I could say everything I wanted to, but your message helped me solve it, I was not gonna wait since he probably would do something nasty or would even think I was still considering getting together. Although I didn’t get into thoughts about his behavior, I sent him a text asking him that when he came by for his car he gave in my stuff (not to me but to a roommate) and pick up his. So I wanted you to know, and give you an update, I read your post and as I read it I hit send, it gave me the courage and reassurance I needed, and it was the best thing I could do because the next day he came and picked his car without saying a word (just a lot of noise from his car) and without giving me back my stuff or picking up his. (He can keep my books and enjoy them, I can buy new ones) I thank the universe and you for letting me have that moment of clarity, I don’t know how I would’ve felt if I hadn’t stated my position and he had just taken his car. Still there’s a part of me who would love to say everything I couldn’t say that day… I just don’t know if it’s worth it.

    Thank you, really, I feel kindness and wisdom in you, it’s really nice that you as many others take a minute of your day to help someone, this time I think it was decisive.
    🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by faber castell.
    faber castell
    Participant

    Dear Jade: You are right, this guy is an ass, I don’t know if I should be talking to him at all, but he’s friends with my friends… ughh I don’t even want him to know that this affected me but on the other hand, why should he get no consequences from his stupid words? I thought by just clarifying I would never date him this would be settled, but is it my mistake to go on being “friends” with him?

    I also don’t consider myself any more than average but I do think there’s a chance of someone thinking and feeling I’m beautiful with some degree of sincerity, right? other guys I’ve dated have made me believe this at least. My ex boyfriend is not attractive, and I adored him, I loved many things about his face and body, his eyes were lovely but I always suffered so much when people treated him poorly or different because he wasn’t handsome. We could not get into bars, friends made comments about how we didn’t seem to have much chemistry (once I asked they would say it was only a matter of appearances), etc. People didn’t even know him! It was so unfair and i just tried my best to not feel like shit about this but I never could. We live in such shallow world that every time I dated some attractive douche they’d congratulate me without even talking to the guy. Wrong friends, wrong city, probably all of them. But is it also my problem?

    I was trying to explain to this shallow guy this particular situation when he questioned my intentions and sincerity for dating an unattractive guy, claiming I was obviously affected by the fact that he was not attractive, and that it probably didn’t work anyways because he wasn’t as attractive as me. He just made me feel like him. He compared our views. “You see? Everyone wants beauty in the end.” And isn’t this what this thread is about? I feel as lame as he is.

    faber castell
    Participant

    Dear MC, I’m sorry you dated that guy, that sounds awful! I don’t think I could ever go ahead from my own tears into kissing, having sex or anything else with someone who’d say that about my body, even if I were fat or not, whatever. It would only make me cry. This is all so awful, I’m so offended by all of this I can’t believe it actually affects me in any way. I’m already feeling guilty for being only friends with this one.

    I’m from Colombia, where are you from? I doubt this is the same guy, unfortunately, I guess there are plenty for all of us.

Viewing 5 posts - 16 through 20 (of 20 total)