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Anders HasselstrømParticipant
Dear Evelyn,
Thanks for sharing your challenges with us. After all this is one way of finding a solution. You’ve taken a major step in the right direction (Hey, you see! Success right there).
I’m at your age myself Evelyn and I know it can be a struggle to deal with life sometimes. I usually take out an hour a week to ponder about my life situation and my goals in life. Where do I want to go? How long have I come already? What are my dreams? What do I fear? and so on.
Spend some hours clearing your mind for thoughts – Write them down on a piece of paper. Ask yourself the important questions: “What would I do with my life if money was no object? What would I do with my life if I was the only one to decide? When you figure out what you have to do – You do it. Never question yourself or your dreams – Go out there and do it.
Cheers,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational SpeakerAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear Dana,
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m convinced this is the first step :o)
I sincerely believe that the first step to overcome a great disappointment is to let the feelings out. Speak to people and you’ll feel a lot better because all of a sudden you are putting things in perspective instead of dealing with the difficulties alone.
I’ve been through similar situations and I can emphasize how much it has helped me. Also, I’d like you to realize that you are in a great position at the moment. You have learned what you’re looking for and what you’re not looking for :o)
Write down your thoughts or talk to people you trust – I believe those are your keywords :o)
Best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational SpeakerAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear MV,
Whenever I stand at a crossroad I have a simple little trick.
Flip a coin. When it’s in the air, you’ll know what side you’re hoping for. It is a simple little trick that might help you to be more clear on your decision. I’m heading to bed now and do not have the energy right now to make a long extensive answer. I do hope you can use the little trick though 🙂
I have done a blog post about the power of conscious decisions. Maybe this blog post will assist you with some guidance.
Best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational SpeakerAnders HasselstrømParticipantSometimes that is all what is needed Helen,
Thanks for contributing to the post anyway.
Best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational SpeakerAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear Tom,
Interesting issue and also something I have been subject to before why I believe I can contribute to your future development.
I used to be around one friend who was in the exact same situation as you are in today. He was always negative and never had anything positive to say. I kept on talking to this friend but at some point I realized that he drained me for my positive energy and never contributed with anything positive. One day I made a conscious decision about my life. I decided that I did not want to spend time with him again. I couldn’t live with it anymore.
One year after I met this friend again. This time I couldn’t recognize him. He had changed dramatically in one year. I asked him what caused him to change. He said to me that he realized how much negativity he was spreading and one morning he decided to change.
The reason I’m telling you this Tom is because I want you to realize that the power to change is within. Start establishing some new and healthy habits. Make a conscious decision every morning to be happy and have a positive mindset.
I’ll be looking forward to hear your progress,
Best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational SpeakerAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear V,
Thanks for sharing your story. Please make it a habit to talk to people about your problems instead of internalize it. Having the possibility to say it out loud and get nurtured can take you a long way. Talking about your problems can be tough but right now you are experiencing the alternative – How does that make you feel?
If I was in your situation I would try to make a list of all the things in life I appreciate. Make a list of gratitude. Often times we are too busy telling ourselves what we are missing in our lives and forget to focus on the precious and lovely things we do have. I assume you can hear, see, run and talk? Most deaf, blind and handicapped people would almost die for those opportunities.
Make it a habit to read some positive and inspirational blogs every day. Give mine a read or find something you like. You will experience a lot of other people facing same troubles and challenges as you do today. You are the only one who decides the quality of your life. Determine that you are no longer going to drink, no longer going to be harsh on yourself and start developing healthy habits. I know it takes time and can be hard to do but look at the alternative my friend. You do not want to stay miserable like this.
If you would like me to assist you I would love to listen to your challenges and give you some guidance and opinions.
Best of luck,
Anders Hasselstrøm
http://www.andershasselstrom.comAnders HasselstrømParticipantBy the way Kiera, if you believe I can help you in any way based on my experience I’d love to coach you further via Skype or something else. I know it can be quite a rough situation and I want to contribute to making it easier for you.
Best,
AndersAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear Rhett,
Thanks for sharing your story. I know exactly how you feel. I have been in the same situation many years ago. Moreover, I’m a motivational speaker focusing on students like you. I hope you can use some of the advice I’ll bring here.
I want you to know your problems are no smaller than other peoples problems. Obviously these problems are affecting your sense of happiness and should be dealt with.
Ask yourself: “Rhett, what do you want in life?” You are in the perfect situation to pursue any dream you want to pursue. You are an undergraduate student with 1000 of opportunities waiting for you. What you need to do is to make a conscious choice. Pick up a piece of paper and write down all the dreams that makes you smile.
Don’t think about your resumé, don’t think about prestige, status and money. Ask yourself: “What would I do if money was no object?” What would make you smile to do for free every day for the rest of your life? Be honest with yourself and make a choice.
Don’t settle for average my friend. Pursue your dreams! I have made a few articles on the subject if you are interested. I hope you’ll find the motivation and inspiration to follow your dreams and live the life you deserve!
Best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational Speaker
http://www.AndersHasselstrom.comAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear Vaishalig,
You deserve happiness and you will experience happiness again. Never stop believing that! I know it can be difficult to believe in your current situation but at some point you will bounce back up.
I surely understand it can be devastating that your soulmate and partner leaves you. You have shared the best moments of your lives and also have a son together. Quoting the “Lion King”: The past can hurt – But as I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.
You have the best opportunity to shape your life at the moment. Who do you want to be? What dreams do you want to pursue? What kind of man deserves your love? Go out and find the friends you are looking for, join the online communities that makes you smile and soon you will find yourself in a new routines with new inspiring people.
Be strong and keep on being strong Vaishalig. Healing takes time but eventually you will be stronger than ever before. Never doubt that!
Best,
Anders HasselstrømAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear Kiera,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are not alone out there.
I have been a motivational speaker for a long time now and I often do motivational speaking for students at high-schools and colleges. Fact is that most students have no clue about what they want to do with their lives. Most students are dragged through college and high-school because that is what is expected. Majority of my friends trick themselves into believing that having a steady and prestigious job is their dream. You know what? They are fooling themselves! You have a dream to dance and sing? You go for it. Tell the world what you are up to and then keep pushing until you are there. Your parents did not have the same obvious opportunities we have today because it was a different time back then. I say we quit doing stuff the usual way and do it our way instead.
There is a quote saying: “Life is never easy for those who dream”. Having dreams can be a big challenge but never a burden. You are blessed to be a dreamer Kiera. You are bound to have more happiness in life than most other people but only if you have the courage to pursue those dreams. When you are 80 years old will you look back and be happy you took the easy way or started a daring adventure?
Decide what you are going to do and then make sure that every second you are awake you are pursuing that dream! Take a look at this YouTube video. It will put things in perspective: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYrmKlAR0g0
Wish you all the best Kiera,
Best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational Speaker
http://www.AndersHasselstrom.comAnders HasselstrømParticipantHello Grace,
No doubt it is a challenging situation you are facing and sometimes it can seem like a never ending negative spiral. I have made it a habit to write down all the things that I feel truly grateful for. I has helped me a lot and I would encourage you to try the same 🙂
Best,
Anders HasselstrømAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear Grace,
First of all I’d like to thank John for contributing with valuable advice. I was going to recommend the same thing. Why don’t you join a jewelry club somewhere in your local community or put up an add in your local supermarket? I think that would be a great idea to meet like-minded people.
I have read several books about the topic as well. If you are interested in becoming super good at getting new friends, I’d recommend you to read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Amazing book with some points you can apply immediately.
Last but not least I would advice you to watch the movie “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey. Even though it seems like a silly advice I think you can get some awesome inspiration from it.
Best of luck,
Anders HasselstrømAnders HasselstrømParticipantDear Tulips,
You have made a big step in the right direction by starting therapy. Most people don’t admit something is wrong and blame it on other people instead. I support Rosie in this discussion – thumps up for working with your issues.
In the mean time, try and see if you can find yourself in the difficult times. Next time you feel a rage coming up I suggest you find a quiet spot. Sit down and try to meditate for 5 or 10 minutes. Find your positive energy in the situation. Listen to Matt’s advice and start learning some of the techniques.
Wish you all the best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational speakerOctober 8, 2013 at 5:10 am in reply to: long distance relationship – I don't know what to do and it hurts so much #43417Anders HasselstrømParticipantDear Hannah,
I’d like to start saying that this is not my field of expertise. I educate students to make better choices about their future by making conscious decisions about their lives. That being said I have a long distance relationship and it is the one of the things in this world I appreciate the most. It is all about making it work.
First of all Hannah, I’d like to say that it can be a very scary process starting college and meeting a lot of new people. I have been in the situation myself. However, remember that everyone is in the same situation. Every single one of the students are having a difficult time and most of them have the exact same thoughts as you do. Take it easy and believe deep down that everything is going to be okay. Embrace that it is an exciting time and in a year from now you will have so many new friends appreciating you for who you are. It seems like you are a little confused about all the new things happening. I would encourage you to write your thoughts on a piece of paper. It is easier to relate to the problems when they has been written down – they might not be so scary as when you keep them inside.
Regarding your boyfriend overseas I would advice you to get clear with him. You have to ask him whether he can prioritize your relationship or wants to end it. I know it can be a difficult situation but you have to remember that you are the most important person in this world. Don’t hurt yourself by staying with a boy if he is basically not interested in keeping on.
I hope it helps a bit my friend,
Best,
Anders Hasselstrøm
http://www.andershasselstrom.comAnders HasselstrømParticipantHello Fe Martin,
First of all I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Breaking up with a partner is always a difficult situation because you share something special together. However, never doubt that your negative feelings will come to an end. You will probably always remember him but there is a difference between remembering him and having negative feelings about it.
You can be 100% sure that he thinks of you as well. There will be a lot of moments in his life where he associates the situation with you. Your memories will always last and even though he is already out there partying and appearing to feel good he will have sad moments as well.
The best thing you can do is to accept that you are not together anymore. The moment you realize that you will be able to work your way towards a new life. Embrace that you have the opportunity of being alone and getting to know you better. The harder you fall the higher you bounce my friend 🙂
Your most important tasks for the next few months is to choose happiness instead of negative feelings. Embrace your life and be sure that better things are coming your way. My previous girlfriend broke up with me after 4 years and I was sure that my life was going to end. However, now I have found a girl who is ten times better. No chance I would have believed that in the first place but I promise you that better things are coming your way.
I hope you can find some inspiration on my website about choosing happiness.
Best of luck my friend,
Anders Hasselstrøm
Motivational Speaker -
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