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HelcatParticipantHi Everyone
Today I’m going to talk about something that really helped me cope with pain.
It hit me really hard when my lifestyle changed. One thing I really loved was hiking and for 6 months I couldn’t even walk. I’m one of those people who goes stir crazy if they don’t get a change in scenery. I felt trapped at home.
Managing my expectations to fulfil a need was essential to find happiness.
I played a video game that had a lot of hiking in it so I could enjoy the scenery and walk around. I enjoy sitting outside in the garden. Taking steps to manage pain and fatigue like, sitting down to rest regularly while walking, taking a painkiller beforehand, wearing supportive braces or using a TENS machine.
One of my favourite things used to be spicy food. I stopped being able to eat it with my health issues. I decided to embark on a quest to find a new favourite food and to learn to enjoy a healthy diet. I find myself enjoying foods that don’t cause digestive problems. I can still enjoy things like roast chicken and veggies and soup.
What makes us happy is very individual. But I hope if anyone has given up anything that they love due to health issues, a new way to find happiness can be found.
Wishing ya’ll all the best! 🙏❤️
HelcatParticipantI can look in the mirror again now. I think that’s progress. During the third trimester I stopped looking in my mirror. I feel like I’m in a better place with my appearance. I just need to sort out this hormonal acne next.
HelcatParticipantHi Everyone
On some days it is hard. Yesterday was a hard day. There have been a few hard days recently.
I am thankful that my baby slept well last night, and I’m glad that I managed to get back to sleep after difficulties with pain and anxiety.
It was nice taking him swimming for the first time. He was very brave, had fun and tired himself out. I was a very proud mama! Still am.
I’m glad that he managed to drink a good amount of formula yesterday (he is still learning ).
I need to get back into the habit of doing my physiotherapy exercises. I will try very hard.
I’m glad that today is a quiet day and I get the opportunity to rest.
I look forward to seeing my friends at the weekend.
I’m glad that I found some information about my final exam and assistance. It’s helped to ease my anxiety about it. I think that I can still pass this module. My grade might not be good, but that it okay. I have a lot going on and I just need a basic pass.
I’m thankful for my husband, he’s really awesome in so many different ways. I’m glad that he is able to tell me when he feels stressed.
I finally managed to make a jam that didn’t burn and set well.
Wishing ya’ll all the best! 🙏❤️
HelcatParticipantHi Sha
That’s good to hear. You’re more than welcome. Good luck with your exam! ❤️🙏
HelcatParticipantHi Sha
That’s a lot of pressure you’re putting on yourself! No wonder you’re stressed out. Anita is right, anxiety degrades your performance. The calmer you are and the least pressure you put on yourself, the better the outcome.
Do you have any strategies picked out for studying?
If you look online there are usually books guiding you on how to pass your test. Past exam papers are a great resource too. I don’t know if you received any feedback from previous exams? Since you are short on time targeting weak areas might be helpful.
Wishing you all the best! 🙏❤️
HelcatParticipantHi Niki
I have a question, did your family invest in you to be able to live abroad? Or is this something that you did without help?
The way I see things everyone gets help from various sources. If you don’t own your own business, whoever you work for helps you. Perhaps your coworkers or your partner help more than the people you help? Your therapist is helping you and you are looking for a kind ear here.
We are expected to care for our parents as they get older as they cared for us when we were children. Physically, they aren’t able to support themselves in the same way.
Perhaps a good exercise might be to reflect on who has helped you over your lifetime?
It honestly depends on circumstances. Sometimes helping someone is helping them to help themselves. It is tempting to default to do something to immediately ease suffering when perhaps the ideal situation is to encourage the individual to develop strength. It is a delicate balance to offer the right amount of help. Too much and the person doesn’t take care of themselves. Too little and there is unnecessarily suffering.
No doubt you are a good person helping other people. But do you take the time to help yourself? You have to take care of yourself in order to help others.
You mentioned that you have fallen into patterns similar to your mother. Would you like to talk more about that?
Wishing you all the best! ❤️🙏
April 24, 2024 at 12:24 am in reply to: Surrender, Accessing Shakti by clearing samskaras, eliminating false selves #431990HelcatParticipantHi Seaturtle
Ah so you always had something to do growing up. Perhaps this is why sometimes there is a feeling when you don’t have something to do?
I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t been doing art because of your roommate. Does she treat you any differently if you do make a mess for a few days?
My mother was very arty. As a person she was very tidy, but her art corner in the kitchen was always messy and always there. It would be nice for you to have the freedom to do something like that if you wanted. I would suggest having a deep conversation with your roommate. You should be allowed to do art, something you love, it is your house too. Perhaps if there is something that she would like the freedom to do, that could be a part of the conversation?
I can understand that, people change, relationships change and they don’t necessarily stay in your life forever.
For me, it is family and a moral decision to stay in contact. If it was just myself, I wouldn’t be in contact. But I have a son and it would hurt the person not to be allowed to see him.
That’s a very good insight about your mother oversharing!
I’m sure that in time you will find a suitable therapist. You do have time, so it makes sense to find someone that fits.
Regarding your friend. I did wonder if she had adhd or autism when you mentioned that she talked a lot. It’s not an excuse, it’s a serious condition and part of who she is. She will never be able to talk less, so please give her some grace and understand that she doesn’t mean to be rude. Imagine how difficult it is for her to hear from many people how they don’t like something that is a large part of her and that she has no control over. This is a difficulty that she will face.
It does sound like she is just suffering from depression during the worst year of her life, it’s potentially going to be difficult for her to control her negativity. When you tire of it, I suggest taking some time for away for yourself. That way she can take care of herself and you can take care of yourself.
Love and best wishes! 🙏❤️
HelcatParticipantHi Sha
I’ve also had anxiety around failing during my studies.
Where do you think this fear of failure is coming from? Is there a trigger?
Have you failed in your studies or anything else before? If so, how did it affect you?
Sometimes, I found that I needed to get used to a level of anxiety and try to study anyway. Sometimes the feeling went away while I was studying. Being in the best mood I could before trying to study was helpful for me as well as taking breaks.
Please show yourself some grace and compassion because ultimately, making mistakes is part of the learning process.
Wishing you all the best! ❤️🙏
HelcatParticipantThank goodness for naps, massages and my husband! Absolute life savers.
Dinner was lovely.
It was amazing seeing my son use his seat on his stroller for the first time. I think I was as excited as he was. He kept staring at everything and didn’t want to sleep like he usually does.
My cat let my son pet her. This is a pretty big deal because she hates children. I think she enjoys playing with his toys.
My sister was really great with my son. It was nice to see her.
Taking better care of myself is a work in progress, but it does seem to be helping me feel better about my body. I always like having my hair cut. It makes me feel like a person again.
HelcatParticipantHi Everyone
Today I’m going to talk about the nervous system and the role in chronic pain. This can also be helpful for anxiety too. Some of you might already be well versed in this.
So main parts I’ll be discussing today are the sympathetic nervous system (related to fight or flight) and the parasympathetic nervous system (related to relaxation).
Stress, exercise, some regularly consumed medicines or intoxicants wearing off and lack of sleep are the main things that trigger the sympathetic nervous system and increase pain sensitivity.
The parasympathetic nervous system which decreases pain sensitivity can be activated by a few different things. Stimulating the vagus nerve can be helpful. Things that can be helpful include massaging the base of the skull and neck, yawning repeatedly, shaking your whole body for a couple of minutes, singing, laughter, splashing cold water on your face. There is a ton of information out there for anyone interested.
Breathing exercises are really helpful too, specifically diaphragm breathing. Also, an important factor in breathing exercises is to have a prolonged exhale for maximum effect.
Everything has a balance and whilst exercise stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, after exercise, the parasympathetic nervous system is activated. So, it can be helpful to exercise regularly to allow your body to practise this balancing effect.
Wishing everyone all the best! ❤️🙏
HelcatParticipantHi Everyone
After 2 days of being woken every 1-2 hours he has finally gone down for the night again. Teething put him off his bottle and it was hunger disturbing him.
Thank God for naps…
Thank goodness he’s sleeping better again.
Increased pain, increased anxiety, some anger.
I hope he’ll be in a better mood during the day because his sleep wasn’t disturbed.
I’m glad that I will get to sleep again.
HelcatParticipantHi Everyone
Today was a unique day. My son has been teething like crazy and kept waking me every 1-2 hours. Hopefully, the medicine will help him to sleep through the night. He is certainly in better spirits after taking it. I’m glad that he is starting to feel a little better.
My emotional regulation was a bit lacking because of the sleep disturbance. Some anxiety and anger arose.
Thinking about how my son is feeling helped me to focus. And reflecting on my own experiences of teeth issues over my life. It must be tough for a baby. Then I tried to figure out how to help him.
A local mum was kind enough to help show me a shortcut.
And my neighbour was kind to get some things to help with my son’s teething. It was nice chatting with her too.
It was nice being together as a family at the end of the day.
Wishing ya’ll all the best! 🙏❤️
HelcatParticipantHi Tommy
I’m glad to hear that you aren’t beating yourself up. That is honestly fair. I have faith that you will figure things out.
I don’t know if anyone is better suited. I feel like the more voices are better than less. Different people require different things. I know that I have gotten a lot from our conversations, as well as the conversations you have had with others. I value your compassion and unique insights and I believe that others do as well.
Regarding the farmer story, these things are true. The difficulty is that everyone is different and we cannot see the future. It seems like an impossible question. If you find the answer, please let me know.
I wish you luck figuring things out! ❤️🙏
April 18, 2024 at 4:12 am in reply to: Surrender, Accessing Shakti by clearing samskaras, eliminating false selves #431826HelcatParticipantHi Seaturtle
I left a long message yesterday, but I believe I forgot something.
Does recognizing your false self help you to find your true self? Do you think that at the core, all of our true selves are morally/ and belief aligned?
Yes and yes. The goal is to learn to see situations as they are without the added pain of the past. This is easier said than done when trauma is involved. Healing the initial trauma and being able to address the past pain separately is important. Therapy is helpful with this.
There are times when people act against their true beliefs and it hurts them. It is said that everyone has buddha nature. In Buddhism there is a journey to Enlightenment that takes many lifetimes.
April 18, 2024 at 3:44 am in reply to: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships #431825HelcatParticipantHi Seaturtle
I finally caught up to the break up. You really have been through a lot in recent months. COVID, a hurt knee and the surgery ontop of a difficult break up! You’ve been through so much, it’s nice to see you starting to heal and come out of the other side.
Would you like to hear my thoughts about the relationship and breakup? If you don’t want to at the moment, if you do in the future you can leave a message and let me know in the event that you do.
Wishing you all the best! ❤️🙏
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