Hi Nina,

I too, have been in long distance relationships. One man from India, Another from Pakistan, and the other from Iraq. The one from Iraq, I was head over heels with, but it turned out he was Catphishing me, so he could get to United States. My own fault, for getting too intense so quickly with him so soon. I invested everything in him, time, attention, romance. He invested nothing.

The guy from Pakistan..well things were great at first, I came to care about him a great deal. We spent hours video chatting. Said as soon as he got out of software engineering, he would come to States. Then he did a complete 360 and wanted me to send pictures of parts of my body and pictures of parts of his body. I immediately put an end to that. But I was deeply hurt and humiliated. Most men from other cultures think and are raised with different values, views and perspectives than people in our country. It usually, unfortunately does not work out. I don’t think it had anything to do with you, but like he said, a difference of cultures. I too have had men from long distance “ghost me” or I will see them flirt with other women online. It’s all a game to them because of distance and rarely seeing each other. I think it’s best to meet someone locally. A happy, stable, loving and emotionally available man.

Hi Craig,

I would just give it some time, give her the space she needs. She is very young..only 24. At 24, getting married, going to school, and everything else can be very overwhelming for someone so young. Are you her first love or relationship? Does she have a support system, or perhaps a therapist she can talk to with overwhelming emotions and depression?

Yes. 2 reasons. Texting, or calling you at Midnight, even if it is your birthday is rude. You could have been sleeping. He could have waited for a more appropriate time. 2nd. He could have said what he wanted to talk about since he had already contacted you. I think because it was your birthday, he was just thinking about you, but I don’t think he is probably wanting anything more. If he did, he would have contacted you before your birthday. I think it is right what you did.

Hi Wyn,

How are you doing? I hope you are feeling better. Please feel free to post anytime.

Hi Amy,

I don’t think, it is the case where people are “unhappy” therefore are giving you negative advice on here. I consider myself to be a happy person, and if I feel a relationship can work out, I will try to point out some possible solutions in my posts. The advice I gave you, came from my heart. Many of the advice on here was positive. You came on here asking for advice. It is up to you, and you only, to either accept or reject the advice, but please don’t “blame” well-meaning people for issues in your relationship.

Hi Mary,

The more distant and no contact with them you have, you won’t have to worry about showing facial expressions. But I can certainly understand where you are coming from because I struggled with resentment with people, I came to trust and love, and they hurt me terribly. So, what I did and still do, is when I feel resentment coming on, or thinking about them/the situation, I would feel sorry for them instead. Sorry, that they had had such small hearts. Then after time, the bitterness would leave, and it would just turn to empathy, no contact at all, but forgiveness, but this is a long process. So, please don’t allow these people to let bitterness and poison, resentment fester. Think that they are sleeping soundly, and going about their day peacefully, and you are fuming with resentment. You do not want to live your life this way I am sure.

If you have to walk by them, pretend you are occupied with something, look in your purse for something, look at notes, look down, look in your wallet, cell phone. What I did was put my friends pictures on my bathroom mirror and practice my “pity smile”. That way, if I ever ran across them instead of my heart pounding like crazy, and resentment, I would look in their face just like I looked at their picture on the bathroom mirror and give them the brief “pity smile/smirk” and keep walking. Just avoid them at all costs so you can let the sunshine in.

Hi Jen,

If it were me, I would go ahead and take the job. You stated things with your boyfriend have not been going well. Maybe this break is what you both need to regroup. Keep us posted.