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jock

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Viewing 15 posts - 721 through 735 (of 915 total)
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  • September 28, 2015 at 6:41 pm in reply to: Which movies impressed you? #84358
    jock
    Participant

    steve martin in the jerk

    “you mean I’m gonna stay this colour?” his character as an adult finally leaving home with black parents, his mother tells him “the big secret” of him being adopted as a child. 🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by jock.
    September 28, 2015 at 6:36 pm in reply to: Unfinished Business #84355
    jock
    Participant

    ouch!
    status conscious like my Mum!

    September 28, 2015 at 6:03 pm in reply to: how do you look after yourself #84349
    jock
    Participant

    I like that: the answers really are in you. You are the best one to answer your questions. Not others. Great freedom and sense of empowerment once you view your own self as the authority figure in your own life, the authority to answer your own questions better than anyone else.

    I think you would advise me to do the same, Anita.
    Still sometimes doubt leads us to a more satisfying answer, finally, after a long time.

    September 28, 2015 at 5:39 pm in reply to: Once a Victim- Always a Victim? #84342
    jock
    Participant

    If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it fall, does it make a sound?

    Like a Zen Buddhist koan Anita. impressive!

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by jock.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by jock.
    September 28, 2015 at 2:52 pm in reply to: Empathy for the Abuser: #84337
    jock
    Participant

    I think there is a benefit if the abuse has finished a long time ago. Forgiveness helps us heal. Dalai Lama talks about “equanimity” which is different to empathy I admit.

    September 28, 2015 at 2:49 pm in reply to: Empathy for the Abuser: #84336
    jock
    Participant

    Guess I’ve been brainwashed by Christianity and Buddhism.
    “forgive them they know not what they do” and
    “wish goodwill on everyone including your abusers”

    but what you’ve said recently makes me think twice, even change my mind.
    I just think “hate” gives away your power. But I know you don’t mean that either.

    September 28, 2015 at 2:43 pm in reply to: Do you have a certain diet, and why? #84335
    jock
    Participant

    WATER is the best thing you can give to your body. Water, sleep and stretching.

    I agree Pomp. Good point.

    September 28, 2015 at 2:35 pm in reply to: How have internet forums helped you? #84333
    jock
    Participant

    pomp
    OK I won’t become a troll here then. 🙂

    Anita
    written word for me too

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by jock.
    September 28, 2015 at 2:31 pm in reply to: If I had my life over again………. #84332
    jock
    Participant

    wow thanks lori
    that is so kind of you to say that
    I wish I had the self-belief to teach anyone but my confidence on here is much higher than in real life 🙂

    September 28, 2015 at 2:27 pm in reply to: Once a Victim- Always a Victim? #84329
    jock
    Participant

    Anita
    you are so caring in your posts that I feel humbled reading them.
    Thanks so much. You have given me much food for thought. Much!

    September 28, 2015 at 3:12 am in reply to: Do you have a certain diet, and why? #84266
    jock
    Participant

    fruit and veg every day
    at least I stick to that
    But a love of certain cookies
    has added way too much fat

    emotional eating
    guilty as charged
    I hope my sentence will be
    1 year in a Buddhist monastery
    eating only vegan food

    September 28, 2015 at 3:03 am in reply to: how do you look after yourself #84264
    jock
    Participant

    I’m in the process of getting a life outside work which includes the following:

    -swimming
    -cycling
    -walking
    -playing guitar
    -learning new songs from youtube on guitar
    -reading biographies eg. famous people like Gandhi
    -attend public speaking club once a week
    -taking dog for a walk
    -morning meditation of 20 minutes

    Internet forums can consume me its true. Like an addiction. I try to limit to 1hour a day now.

    Balance is the key.
    But expressing myself on a forum is a good thing. It cleans out the cobwebs in my mind, which meditation misses.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by jock.
    September 27, 2015 at 7:45 pm in reply to: Once a Victim- Always a Victim? #84250
    jock
    Participant

    Did your over sensitivity dispel that love? Make it go away? Miss it so it was left behind?

    I know my parents love was unconditional but my older brothers was not. They were like bosses who were never satisfied and gave you low scores on performance appraisals. I think I have unconsciously tried to live up to their expectations all my life. Also being sensitive, I felt their judgements of me harsher than say my younger brothers who were less touchy. I’ve always had a “junior” mentality in their presence. I’m sure a lot of people know what I’m saying who grew up in families as the younger sibling. The younger one is trained to look up and respect the older one(s). In that way, you tend to doubt your own capacity for decisions..”let the older sibling decide, he knows better”.
    Confidence is my problem. Especially social confidence. Not self-love.

    September 27, 2015 at 7:31 pm in reply to: Once a Victim- Always a Victim? #84249
    jock
    Participant

    mmm good one Anita…
    my problem is more self-esteem related than love related. Does that make incense?
    My mother loved me but her self-esteem was low so I never felt it. My father was a gentle guy with moderate to low self-esteem but his love was more effectual. he was more cheerful than my mother. Mum was kind of passive but an extremely hard worker. A good person but if I can be critical she was status conscious and afraid to look silly in front of others. (her family were that way too, conservative)
    My parents were protective of me to some extent. I wasn’t allowed to have a bicycle until age 12 whereas my older brothers had one at age. 5 or 6. My father lacked confidence when it came to investments and often consulted my older brothers. I felt my older brothers’ status became that of surrogate parents to us younger ones.
    I took longer than my older brothers to forge an identity. Even now, I hesitate to take a strong stand on anything. Who is Jack? What does he stand for? I bet my family can’t answer that question. I have played a low profile role in my family. Example, my older brothers would host family reunions but I don’t have the confidence to say “OK lets have it at my house”. I don’t have the motivation either I guess. I’m afraid I’ll be judged by them for my effort.
    I think I love myself if I’m not in a social situation. I am an introvert and can enjoy my own company. I think I have good qualities and a few weaknesses such as lack of courage and focus in a flight or fight scenario.
    So Anita you’ve raised an interesting point. Can you have low self-esteem and still love yourself? I think you can….as long as you spend most of your time alone…. 🙂

    September 27, 2015 at 5:41 pm in reply to: Do you think you are spiritual? #84242
    jock
    Participant

    You’re damn right I’m god-damned spiritual!
    Why? Who says I’m not?
    vengeance says the Lord will strike thee
    if thou thinkest different ta me!
    Read thy buybull every day and yerl be saved
    from the fires of hell and from a summer in central Australia!

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