Generally, day to day its fine, in fact its getting alot better. Just the next few weeks especially and then a few more after that are going to be stressful. I could end up with a disappointed boss or i could end up having a disciplinary. I know its really not long but i finally settled down a bit and its all coming back up right near the end. Plus i have alot to do in not long so cant really do one small challenge at a time

Thanks so much for your help!

Since the audit its been fine at work, usual day to day stuff although my boss is coming in tomorrow to help with some stuff so im starting to get nervous about that.
I still have 2 months to go but have pretty much decided that management isnt for me. I am not a leader or a ‘boss’, its not in my nature. Plus the extra stress, effort, working on my days off is not for me. I’d be happy stacking shelves in a supermarket if it paid enough and allowed me not to think about it at home!

Im going to allow my new manager time to settle in and see how it goes but im starting to think i might start looking for something else late spring/early summer. Management isnt for me and at this point i can do my job standing on my head!

Last time i changed jobs i did it out of a reactive response; to move away from my job to do anything else rather than towards something i want. But i want something different to learn, a better work life balance. Im going to look with this in mind, research the job and companies more, and maybe try and do stuff like volunteering, evening classes to try some stuff out first. Last time, i ‘left’ it was only for 12 months and i ended up right back where i started. I dont want to do that again

Hmm I see what you’re saying but I don’t think it would happen, it’s like asking your boss to never check up on you, however I’m not above telling her again when I get too stressed out. Now that the audit is over I feel better but I was so so so close to a burnout before, when it was over I went home and slept for 14 hours!

It’s also the additional responsibility I’m hating, I don’t want to be thinking about the store on my day off, or thinking what am I going to do when someone has too many sick days, I work better in a team, I can’t be a boss

The other thing is that it would be so hard for me to say I am stepping down because there is no else to do it until the end of January and it has a knock on effect for me because it’s in the store I work in. If it was a secondment to a different shop, place, department it’s easier because the vacancy you leave isn’t your problem or doesn’t affect you. But here it does so I don’t have a choice but to do it.

I’ve also started worrying about what will happen when the new manager starts. My old one was amazing, that’s why I enjoyed my job, but I feel like it’s going to be 24/7 intense scrutiny all the time and it’s making me feel like I should start looking for a new job

The only other problem is that i can feel myself becoming a horrible person without my own space. As an introvert, i just want my own space and the only place i can have that is my room. If i go downstairs, into the kitchen, into the garden, there’s always someone there talking to me and i just snap at them. Its nothing to do with them, i just dont want any interaction. Me and my sister understand this about each other and when to talk/not to talk to each other and its fine. We can spend days together in silence and be happy with that. But my parents dont get it, they’ll talk and talk.

I was just in the garden with my book and my dads friends came over, made themselves comfortable in the garden, being loud and ive had to retreat back to my room. Even though i wasnt involved in the converstaion, it was still too much.

Thank you, thats a very good point.

Im feeling better about things than i did yesterday and am feeling less of the anxiety around ‘oh my gosh i must move out now!’. I may regret waiting 6 months but me and my sister did agree that we would give her time to acclimate to her new job and save a bit more money first. Because im ready money wise, i feel i should be doing more sooner.

And everyone is reminding that 6 months is quicker than i think.

Well i dont want to let my sister or my friends mum (who has done us a massive favour) down. Plus, i already do my own washing, cleaning, cook for the whole family,shop when i have to and pay rent etc etc.

Its just the fact that i will be that much older when i do move out thats bothering me

Hi, thanks for taking such interest. The place I would like to go back is the same place I had worked many years before and ended up back at after taking a year out to try something else. I am still in the same situation as described in my previous post however.

Just over a year ago I tried moving out and getting my own place (well with roommates) and lasted a whole week before I moved back home.

I guess my fear started around 2/3 years ago. After i finished school, i went to uni and loved it, had no fear of moving away from home, living with strangers, I just did it. Since ive been back and not really being sure what i want to do with myself I seem to have retreated further and further into my shell; ive become much more introverted, even social events and the prospect of meeting new people terrifies me whereas, at uni, I would have been right in the middle of it. I dont date because Im terrified of meeting new people. Id still like to get my own place and a new job that i can build a career in but dont want to move away from my family, my village, my street, even though id just be 20/30 mins away – to me, that might as well be 100 miles.

I have no idea what brought this on, maybe a few ‘failed’ attempts at new things. I sailed through uni and graduated (still no fear), then a year later I took on a teaching course that I hated but stayed with anyway. That was a tough year and a tough thing to get through. When i left my job for the year out I had 2 jobs; one an insurance that was depressing, i stayed at for 9 months, and a receptionist job for 3 months. Neither of them fitted me so i went back to my original job, same place, where I was ‘somebody’. I was known and respected and knew what i was doing. So I get promoted and move to the new store but i just want my old one back. Since moving I feel like i dont have room in my personal life for other things (like dating that I am trying to get back into) because I am worrying about work, or recovering from a busy day. As i said, when working at the old store, I relaxed on my days off, did other things, no fear. Now, I dont know what I am afraid of but i just want to get rid of this anxiety and uncertainty. I guess maybe the old store is so predictable, there isnt really any of that.

But thats what im looking for in life. I know that challenges are something that are going to happen whether you like it or not but you dont have to go looking for them? And i dont intend to take my career any further than the position I am in now so in that respect moving back wouldnt be an issue for me.